[insert sarcastic remark here]

baby, baby, baby

2012-01-20T09:45:00.001-05:00

It seems like it's coming from all directions.

People on tv wanting to have a baby, commercials talking about wanting to have a baby.

Enough!

I don't know what it is, but my ovaries are all rowdy and want to produce a baby. But I'm not ready AND I'm lacking am important part of this equation.

I do feel like my time to have a baby is going to start to dwindle. But what exactly can I do about it. I don't really want to do this alone and I don't currently have any prospects.

Ugh.

Simmer down in there ovaries. It'll happen eventually.

Haaaaave you met my friend Keiko?

2012-01-17T09:26:00.001-05:00

It was nice to finally have a three day weekend after the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It's actually slowed down quite a bit at work. A little to slow some days.

Saturday I spent the holiday cheer my dad sent me and got this new beauty. Meet Keiko. Now Stella won't be so lonely. It's a nice balance.

I told myself this would be the last thing I spend money on something that I WANTED. It's time to start taking care of my needs. And there are plenty.

First off is a new computer tower. My baby is dying and she has served me well. I think I may stick with Dell. I'd love to get a Mac, but that's not in the budget this year.

After a tower I really need some new bras and a desk chair. NEED.

It'll be hard. I can give up chocolate or sex or soda, but its hard for me to give up shopping. Not that I shop a lot, but if I see something I like and it fits (which doesn't happen often) and it's a good deal, I can't resist. One of those things I really need to work on.

Maybe that'll be something I put on my list to try to accomplish. No want based shopping for a month.

let's talk about sex baby...

2012-01-02T20:17:00.000-05:00

"...I'm realizing more and more that I'm less interested in sex for the sake of sex and more interested in the intimacy of having sex with someone that I have an emotional connection to." I can't remember which blog I read this on. But yeah, that's how I feel these days.

See that counter there on the lower right. Proof.

I'm even fine being single. I'm not actively seeking a relationship, but I will say that running around Chicago in the rain, holding hands and stealing kisses. I'd like more of that.

this years best

2011-12-31T18:07:00.001-05:00

This post really isn't gonna be a review about how good or bad the past year has been. If you really want to know, the last year was pretty damn awesome. It is gonna be an update post though. I put on my Winter Wishlist that I wanted to post more, so here I go.

The past month has been crazy busy at issa.ino and at work. I've gotten some nice checks from working more hours than usual. I hadn't seen anyone I knew in a casual setting for quite some time. It was starting to get to me. I'm glad things are starting to slow down a bit. Work has been good to me. I got to travel for the company in November and then this week I was given special privileges to help out during a busy times. I feel like my manager must think highly enough of me to grant me those things.

I just got back from my annual after Christmas to Chicago trip. Lizard was unable to make it this year, so it was just me and Greg. I was also unable to spend more than a day there due to work and other life responsibilities. Oh well, Greg and I made it work.

I think we had a great time even though it was short.

I beat him to Union Station so he told me to meet him in the Great Hall, like Love Jones. You might think our hello after not seeing each other for an entire year would've been epic, but it wasn't. We just hugged hello and headed out on our adventure to find pizza.

We walked around in circles, in the rain for about and hour looking for a California Pizza Kitchen that showed up on his phone, but not mine. When we finally got to the right address...it wasn't there. As if it never existed. Weird. We then settled for a local pizza joint called Pizano's. It was very filling with larger than large portions. Good stuff. I would'be boxed up my leftovers, but we just started the day and I didn't really want to drag around a box of pizza.

Next up we did the one touristy thing I wanted to do and took a picture of our reflections in the bean. As big and shiny as it is we didn't even see it at first and we were looking right at it.

Afterwards we began mission: mittens. All I wanted for Festivus were red mittens and a good cheek kiss. We walked up and down State and Michigan and no mittens were to be found. We did find an awesome couch to rest our weary bodies though. Greg also learned how not very aggressive I am when it comes to walking the streets of downtown Chicago. Since mission: mittens was a bust we decided to go and have a cup of tea and a snack.
Along the way and six hours into our day we finally found a not so public spot and kissed. I got real shy, real quick and couldn't help but laugh from being nervous. What if this ended up being awkward? We've been friends for 6 years. But it wasn't. It was fun and easy. We nuzzled and kissed and talked as people passed us by. At one point a family walked by and I saw the child on my left and then he disappeared...I'm about to lean in and kiss Greg and the child appears on my right. He's at my hip, touching my Spiderman bag. His parents called for him and all I could do is laugh. We nuzzled and kissed a little longer, but then I needed something to drink and a snack...it seemed best to start back towards Union Station.

Finding a place to have tea was impossible. Everything getting closer to the train station was closed. Even places in the train station were closed. It seemed to early for everything to be closed. We did find a Corner Bakery open and had a nice snack while we waited for it to be time for me to go.

We did the whole kiss good bye and waiting until almost the last minute for me to get on the bus. I really didn't want to go.

The lights on the bus were completely off and I thankfully had two seats to myself. I passed out quickly.
While I was glad to be out of my wet shoes and socks I was a little sad I wasn't still in Chicago. I'd have liked to stay overnight.

After I was FINALLY able to get moving today I went and picked up the goods that didn't sell at the Handmade Promenade Holiday Pop Up Shop. I ended up bringing home more than I expected, but I think it was a good experience and a good way to get exposure. I have a lot of plans for issa.ino this year.
And now here I am wrapping up a blog post that isn't really a year in review.

winter wishlist

2011-12-25T15:04:00.000-05:00

motivation and inspiration to create a more successful issa.ino

blog more (even if it's just a quick pic from my phone or a few words here and there)

fun trips to Chicago and Atlanta

trip to IKEA (new desk and chair?)

reinstate Lunch Bunch with AB

sell AT LEAST 50 Valentine's and Anti-Valentine's

new ink

10 lbs lost

mark a few more items off Death to the List, Dos

hot cocoa dates/pizza dates/tea dates/movie dates/food dates

holding hands and kissy face

enjoy the company of friends doing whatever

new computer tower with all the important things successfully transferred onto it

almost there

2011-11-01T10:20:00.001-04:00

It just keeps getting longer and longer. I've decided that once it gets to the top of my bum I'll start keeping it trimmed. I don't think I can handle it any longer than that. I think I have about 4 or 5 more inches to go. That's probably about 4 or 5 months of hair growth for me. So not much longer at all. I also colored my hair again. Back to black. I think I need to start having someone help me with this process. It's becoming more difficult to get all that hair back there since it's so long.

four times eight

2011-11-01T02:01:00.000-04:00

I turned 32 this past Wednesday. It was a pretty decent birthday. I hung out with friends at Coaches the evening before and then spent the day in Chicago. I would have liked to stay in Chicago longer, but it wasn't in the birthday budget. I will say that I actually spent my birthday money on myself and not on bills. I treated myself.

A handsome young stranger gave me his other slice of pizza while at Coaches because he order the last two. It was a nice gesture. Definitely added to the birthday experience. Mac n' cheese, pizza and beer and drinks.

Business is going well. My wares are now in 6 shops in 4 states. It's pretty exciting. The goods will also be in a local Holiday Pop Up Shop. Needless to say, I'm keeping busy. I just wish I had more money to put into my business. I have a lot of things I would like/need to pay for and as usual, I always need MORE yarn.

ScruffyNerdy asked me a while back about collaborating on something with him. Wasn't sure how we'd be able to combine our two art mediums together, but he'll be embroidering patches with my logo on them for my pieces. I'm looking forward to what they'll look like. Glad that we've become better friends and that things aren't awkward after the admittance of the crush.

My make up application has improved. I've got a nice little minimalist look that's nice and quick. My face has sort of cleared up. Still can't figure out why I only get blemishes on one side of my face. It's kind of annoying.

I'll be heading to Cleveland at the end of the week for work. I'm told it's going to be crazy madness. I need to rest up while I can. I'm trying to clean up my apartment before I go so that it's nice when I get back. There's a lot to do. I want to move. I think I'm going to start packing things up so that I'm more motivated to move.

Also, I need to get serious about eating better and working out. I need to find some motivation and inspiration. No more excuses.

Birthday Wishlist 2011

2011-10-09T07:53:00.000-04:00

I had a hard time thinking of things I had to have for me birthday. Here's a list of things that'd make me happy though.

~~hanging out with friends at Coaches or where ever, I just wanna hang out with friends~~
~~nice warm day spent exploring Chicago~~
~~yummy burger and garlic fries from Boogie Burger~~
~~some of Lesley's delicious mac n' cheese~~ (I got a WHOLE pan)
Johnny Cupcake x Hello Kitty Hoodie
~~Red Velvet Elvis cupcake from The Flying Cupcake~~ (I did get a Texas Red Velvet from Sugar Bliss)
~~lots of two-armed hugs~~
fun and wild photo shoot (I got some silly ideas)
cup of Mango Tango froyo from Huddles
my neighbors to be quiet for the entire week (this includes that damn barking dog)
new ink on my right forearm to complete my set that goes with what I've got on my left forearm :)

Clearly food makes me happy as a lot of my list is food related. Ha!

fall wishlist

2011-09-24T00:58:00.000-04:00

~~cozy, warm two-armed hugs~~
warm, delicious breakfasts at Cafe Patachou
~~issa.ino hats and cards carried and sold in more boutiques and shops across the US~~
~~more custom bear hat orders via email~~ and etsy
new larger apartment with hardwood floors and lower rent
~~relaxing and fun birthday spent having a good time~~
new computer desk and comfortable computer chair
Bazbeaux Pizza with friends
cuddling and kisses
tea dates/hot cocoa dates/ice cream dates/dinner date/lunch dates
successful eBay auction/sales
~~trip to Chicago~~
romantic rendevous
time well spent with friends new and old
success for myself and those around me
win a camera from The Pioneer Woman blog
15 lbs lost
~~warm, bronzed, sun-kissed skin~~ (it's getting there)
peace, quiet and fresh breathable air in my current place of residence
houndstooth wood 0g plugs
more money in my pocket and savings account from winning contests and giveaways, work and issa.ino products being sold
~~patience, kindness and love~~
~~motivation and inspiration~~
~~complete and cross off several items on my Death to the List, Dos~~

i be on something sometimes and other randomness

2011-09-16T00:47:00.003-04:00


I think...I think there's something on my nose?

I be on something sometimes. The thought to take this photo just came to me and I said, yep...I'ma do it. And I did.
When I lived in Hawaii, my friends and I used to climb up into mango trees, pick the unripe fruit and then go find a shady place to slice them suckers up and eat them sour or sometimes with a salty fish paste. Yum!
My birthday is next month and there really isn't anything that I want. *shrugs*
I don't mind being alone, but it gets lonely sometimes.
I joined an online dating site. It's meh. I've become the type that doesn't pursue. I want to be pursued. I'm not sure that's going to happen. Men have gotten lazy.
I shouldn't say that.
Hours have been getting cut at work. It's okay, but it's not okay. I have bills to pay and I'd like to go out of town for my birthday.
Thankfully my work is being picked up by a few places. Closer to my dream.
I now own more make up and care more about my skin that I ever did. It's weird. Next I'll start getting all concerned about my hair. Who am I?
I'm still me...that's for sure.
My skin has started to clear up and even out though. Looks nice. I love it. Who knew all I had to do was put in a little extra time and money.
The universe needs to put me in a new apartment. Preferably the one up the street with hardwood floors and a nice kitchen.
The universe also needs to let me win that $5000 Target gift card so I can furnish said apartment.
Come on universe, you can do it. Give it to me.
Ran into McDishes the other day. We're working on those two armed hugs. He's getting good. I can dig it.
I've had quite a few friends lately tell me they appreciate my honesty and that they come to me because of it.
I need to buckle down and get organized and get to work.
Sleep is about trap me under it's warm, cozy blanket. Later dude.

wishes for summer

2011-06-21T01:43:00.017-04:00

adventures of epic proportions
self portrait tattoo in the style of the Stella Latwinski sugar skull on my left top forearm on my right top forearm*
picnics and movies at the IMA
~~yummy in my tummy frozen yogurt from Huddles~~
cooking more dinners for friends
ease and happiness
bowling dates
movie dates
dinner dates
lunch dates
donut dates
~~cuddles and kisses~~
~~time well spent with myself and with friends~~
winning lottery tickets
~~fun filled free day at the state fair~~
cruiser bicycle
coral TOMS
giggles, smiles and laughter
more sweet kisses
picnics
days off spent enjoying the sun
~~business contacts and more business~~
trip to Atlanta and Chicago
~~Bazbeaux's pizza~~
~~burgers w/ friends from Boogie Burger~~
~~yummy fresh breakfast from Cafe Patachou~~
~~goldeny, sweet summer tan~~
duck pin bowling
success for those around me
sweet, comfy, easy dresses

*you gotta be specific sometimes so that what you put out there will come to pass.

epic adventures

2011-06-09T00:34:00.000-04:00

Saw ScruffyNerdy last week at Coaches. We hugged like it was nothing. I like it when shit just flows like that. No awkwardness.

TheMC had a listening party this past Thursday for the album he released on Tuesday. My plan was to drive, but AT didn't get back from church in time...well she did, but I already had a ride coming, so I just got a ride instead. It started out as a sausage fest which I expected, but then a lot of ladies showed up. It also seemed to turn into a Twitter Meet Up. My ride left me to myself to sit with some girl and then Milk&Cookies ended up keeping me company.

Speaking of which, we ended up having a Twitter DM convo that got a little hot. Um yeah...which led to us spending 5 hours talking Saturday night because neither of us would make a move. It was pretty fun and funny. BTwice has sensed that there's something going on between us on Twitter. LOL. It was bound to happen. I'm not hiding anything. Might not talk about it so publicly, but I'm not hiding anything.

By the time Friday ends I will have worked 7 days straight. I WILL survive it. Then Saturday it's Pride and Sunday is a photo shoot. I'm off on Monday too. Woo! I don't mind getting a lot of hours, but man...so many days in a row without a break is hard. I plan to have summer adventures of epic proportions and work my try to cramp my style. But someone's got to fund these adventures.

I really need to get to crocheting these hats. I was supposed to send out at least a week ago. It's just been so hot that I really haven't wanted to touch the yarn. But I will. I have to. I can't be such a slacker. It's bad business.

Can't wait to get my Hello Kitty Vans.

the wheels on the bus go round and round

2011-05-30T22:39:00.002-04:00

I feel like the weather went from cold to hot too fast here in the last couple of weeks. It's supposed to be in the 80's and 90's this week. I'm kinda thankful that I'll be working for part of it so I'll be in the nice air conditioned mall. Though it'd be nice to be sitting pool side somewhere reading a book and bopping my head to some music. Oh well. It's hard to have it all some times.

AT did NOT lose her car. She ended up having another bank finance her instead. Woo! She's getting a lot better at driving, but still needs some practice. It's nice to have access to a car. I can go out at night and it makes grocery shopping so much easier. Maybe this will be enough motivation for me to get my OWN car.

After going back and forth about being hungry and what to eat and who would cook Milk&Cookies and I ended up going out to a show for a bit and then to grab a bite to eat the other night. He ended up paying the cover for the show and I feel like he was attempting to pay for my super late dinner before I hopped in front of him and paid for it myself. He even opened the car door for me. All I could think was, what's going on here? This isn't a date is it? I couldn't tell you the last time a guy opened the car door for me. Could just be his nature. I enjoyed hanging out with him. Then again I generally enjoy hanging out with my guy friends. Less drama, more fun.

My buddy BJ is back!!! Well he didn't really go anywhere, but it feels like he's been gone. He was dating this girl and well...it was like he was a different person. I always felt awkward talking to him and saying hi when I saw him/them. It was like it was wrong to text him. He's not with her anymore. Woo! And his new girl. She's pretty fucking cool from what I can tell. I'm still laughing and shaking my head at the fact that I had to tell him to back up and get his dick off of me the other day. (He was fully clothed, he was just drunk and standing next to where I was sitting and trying to get the attention of his girl who was on the other side of me.) We had a good talk, even in his drunken state.

I'm doing well with doing one creative thing every day. It's been a lot of crocheting lately because I need to get these hats made and shipped off and dropped off at their destinations. But Friday/Saturday I took a LEGO Star Wars Minifigure keychain and made it into a necklace. Fun!

Lastly, yesterday I enjoyed being outside as much as I could. Even if that meant sitting on some bleachers downtown blowing bubbles, having to deal with the stench of horses and spending time with friends. BusDriver stopped through with his daughter and hung out for a bit too. I find it awkward to meet dude's kids, even if they're just friends. I don't feel awkward meeting girl's kids though. I don't know. He offered to buy me ice cream. I can't believe I turned down free ice cream. I enjoy hanging out with him too. It's a good balance of sarcasm and not sarcasm. Ha! I can't think of the right word.

I kinda feel like someone needs to make a move, before the other one does. *shrugs*

Anywho...

probably the wrong choice of words

2011-05-22T00:10:00.000-04:00

I told ScruffyNerdy that I had a crush on him and that I wanted to get to know him better. He said he was flattered, that he couldn't say his feelings were the same and that he was cool kicking it as friends. The thing is, for me at least, a crush doesn't mean I want to date or that I have feelings. It just means I'm attracted to you and I think you seem pretty cool. Not sure how awkward things will be now. Wrong choice of words for sure, kinda wish I hadn't said anything at all. Oh well.

I've had a few male friends be nice to me lately. I'm never sure how to take it. I have a few male friends who do things for me and I know they're just friendly gestures. We've been friends long enough that it doesn't mean anything. No other intentions. But these last two incidents, I'd like to believe both guys were just being nice and it's just part of their nature. I'm not sure though.

One guy I've known on Twitter for about a year. We met/hung out a few times, but mostly we communicate via Twitter. He was getting off work one night (he works at a grocery store) and I jokingly asked him to bring me some Oreos and milk. He said sure. I then responded saying I was only half serious. I really did want some milk and cookies, but didn't really think he'd drive 20+ minutes out of his way to actually bring them to me. He did. We hung out and talked for a little bit and then he left. I relayed the scene to a couple of friends after it occurred and both asked me if he liked me. *shrugs* Not that I know of. I just thought he was being nice. I'm sure I could ask him, but no.

Work has been good. I'm enjoying it. I don't enjoy the uniform so much though. I really wish I didn't have to wear long sleeves. I don't regret getting my tattoo, but I surely do dislike having to wear the long sleeves. Oh well. I've been getting decent hours and my paychecks are normally a little more than I'm expecting. I can dig it.

Hats are surprisingly STILL selling and I've had requests for more. I thought w/ the warmer weather that business would slow down, but it hasn't. I had a good run on Mother's Day cards as well. Just wish I was more motivated to create. I need to change that. I need to do one creative thing a day and hopefully something will change and I'll be more motivated.

I was teaching AT how to drive for a couple of weeks after she bought a car for her birthday, but sadly that has stopped because just as I was informed, you CANNOT finance a car without a driver's license. I feel bad for AT, I hope she gets some if not all of the money she spent back. It was fun being able to drive places. You'd think that'd be motivation to hurry up and save some money to buy a car, but sadly it is not. I still enjoy riding the bus though it's a bit of a pain having to get up early on some days or not being able to go out at night. Who knows, maybe I will end up saving up for a beater car to drive around. We shall see.

Other than that not much else is going I suppose. Just daily life. I keep telling myself I want to get healthy, but I'm not doing anything about it. Lazy bum. I plan on getting new ink before summer OFFICIALLY begins, saving up my pennies as we speak. And I think that's about it. Oh, I made lasagna for the first time this past week. Delicious.

it's been a long time...I shouldn't have left you...

2011-04-21T21:45:00.000-04:00

Busy, busy, busy...that's what I've been.

The new job at the Lego Store is pretty awesome. The commute sucks, but I'm glad to have a job again. That first week we were open was brutal. Because I have every other weekend off I ended up working 9 days straight. Long days at that. Half of them were supposed to be short, but that's not how it worked out. I can't really complain though because it earned me some over time and I'll have a nice big check.

“I don’t want to casually date forever. I just want to love one person really hard and really intensely. I want to settle down and be domestic and cook dinner and have lazy Sundays in bed. I want someone who will love me all my lifetime, who will be faithful, who will raise children with me, who will hold my hand when we are old and grey. I want a career I love, time to do the things I enjoy doing, passion, great sex, dancing, fireworks. I want it all.” ~Spatch from The Spatch Diaries

Yep that's how I feel. I'm not even casually dating anyone. I'm a little scared of dating. I have a crush on someone though. And I can communicate with him through social networking sites, but when I see him in public it's like I freeze up. I'll wave and smile, but that's about all I can muster up. He wasn't saying much either until last night when he spoke to me about something I asked him about online. And it was nice and the conversation last a couple of minutes, but that was it. I wanted to talk more, but we weren't in the right venue and I didn't know what to say to him. I so want to talk to him and hang out with him and get to know him, but I don't know how to approach the subject. I'm a chicken shit.

I haven't been going out much since I started working. It's wake up, go to work, come home, eat, shower, go to sleep. I did push myself a few times to spend some time with friends though. The usual haunt at Coaches and then Burlesque Bingo Bango Show, which was more bingo than burlesque which kinda sucked, but I got to hang out with LJ and that's always a good time.

I had this past weekend off which was a much needed break from work and FA and I hit up Record Store Day. I wore my beard and it was awesome sauce. Sunday I went and saw Talib Kweli. It was a good concert and we had a good spot right at the front of the stage. Crotch in our face close. BB and I aren't good fans though, we don't get too excited.

see, we were CLOSE!

Other than that not much else is going on. There is a gentleman that I'm pretty sure has a crush on me and there is another gentleman who I don't know what's going on with him or what his intentions are. I'm not too interested in either gentlemen since I have a crush on ScruffyNerdy.

Oh and Mother's Day is right around the corner so I've been working on Mother's Day cards. You know you need a few. Check'em out.

http://issaino.etsy.com

...i am yours...i am yours...

2011-03-26T00:23:00.000-04:00

Sometimes my titles have nothing to do with the blog post. They're usually just random song lyrics. Probably a song I'm listening to at the time that I'm typing.

~~Today has been an awesome week.~~ It has been an awesome week. I feel like I did a lot, but then didn't do anything at all.

I applied for a job at the Lego Store that's opening up in April on Saturday. I received a call from the company on Monday to schedule an interview on Tuesday. I was hired on the spot. I get to play with Legos. How awesome is that? I'm pretty excited. Some people have looked at my uh...yeah I guess that's cool and then others are like OMG that's awesome!!! I GET TO PLAY WITH LEGOS!!! And sell them too.

Wednesday Old Soul Entertainment held their annual J Dilla Tribute at the Jazz Kitchen...along with that Black Milk was in town for a performance as well. It was a good show. The energy was amazing. I carried around an orange the whole night. Ha! I know folks thought it was strange, but I had no pockets. I was fortunate enough to plant myself right at the front of the stage. There were a lot of handsome men at the show, which is normally the case at Hip Hop shows. I wasn't on the prowl though (I never really am), but the ladies in short dresses and stilettos were. I still don't get why ladies dress like that at Hip Hop shows.

Black Milk

I spent Thursday at the Indiana State Museum with my friend Tony Styxx. Then we grabbed a burger at Boogie Burger. I tried the Rise and Shine. Who knew a fried egg on a burger would taste so good? Messy, but good. I love a place where even though I don't frequent it every week, the staff knows me and I'm greeted by either my first name or occasionally my Twitter handle when I walk in the door. After gaining a few pounds from the burger deliciousness we went and smoked hookah at The Egyptian. So relaxing.

Since I think it's pretty clear that TheNemesis isn't interested in me the same way I'm interested in him, I'm letting that go. And I'm okay with that. I usually find myself attracted to gentlemen that are unavailable. I don't know how to change that, but I'm working on it. He's still pretty awesome and a great friend though.

I need to do something productive. I've been dragging my butt on creating new things. I have the ideas, I've just been lazy I guess. I'm not sure what it is. There seems to be a little bit of unhappiness hanging around. Dissatisfaction too. I need a schedule and studio space. I think that'd make working a lot easier. I should probably stop making excuses. Meh.

cousin it

2011-03-25T14:35:00.000-04:00

This is the longest I've ever let my hair get. It's sooooo long. It's hard to believe. It's in need of a good trim and color right now, but I'm on a coloring ban until my birthday and I've got another month until I go in for a trim. I only get my hair cut/trimmed once or twice a year. I've been enjoying long hair, but one of my few complaints is that I always lean back on it and then I can't move my head. LOL!

wishes for spring

2011-03-21T13:46:00.002-04:00

blowing bubbles with friends
trips to Chicago
~~sweet banter that makes me blush~~
b~~usiness success~~
~~success for my friends in their endeavors~~
happiness for those around me
new issa.ino spring line
~~money saved and money earned~~
black sparkly TOMS
self portrait ink on my right forearm
~~fun and comfy dresses for spring~~
~~all things coral and navy~~
~~more LEGOS~~
sweet spring fling
support and help for those in need (japan, friends, etc.)
bike
~~tickets to concerts~~ (Matt & Kim, T~~alib Kwali~~...)
fun photo shoots
~~antics and tomfoolery with friends~~
winning lottery tickets
weight lost and muscles toned
fun, fun, fun
~~holding hands~~
dates (~~girl dates~~, ~~lunch dates~~, dinner dates, bubble dates, donut dates, phone dates, scrabble dates, hookah dates, etc.)
help when needed without having to ask for it
hard work
compromise
awesome care packages
~~good conversations with friends~~

who wants to help me cross some things off this list?

i just want to ride bikes with you

2011-03-20T23:28:00.003-04:00

I did something different on Thursday and I went out for St. Patrick's Day with my old coworkers. It was actually pretty fun. I'm glad that the weather was nice and I was able to wear shorts. I drank. A LOT. I was told I looked like Dr. Oliva (no idea who that is) and I was also called Mary Ann. Yeah. I don't know. Drunk people. I walked all the way back to the bar we paid a small cover at to pee. I didn't want to pay another larger cover just to go inside and pee at the bar we were at. It made sense to me. And my pockets.

TheNemesis now knows that I like him and have a crush on him. He's adorably cute and I just want to cuddle with him and kiss him on the lips.

The rain and lack of motivation kept me in all day Friday. I think it was probably all the alcohol from the previous night too. I don't know. But I surely was coming up with excuses not have to leave my apartment. I also got my first letter from my new pen pal Cuppy. She's cute and I think I love her already.

I was pretty much a tired and lazy bum on Saturday too. I did get a few things done though (worked on a new art piece). Took a couple of naps and stayed up way too late. I finished making a delicious Beef Stew with Beer and Paprika...at like 1100 and I had to have a bowl, so I kinda had to stay up for a couple of hours so I wasn't sitting with all that food in my stomach. (I always spell stomach with an e at the end and ALWAYS have to delete it).

I missed the Super Moon. (Even that couldn't get me to put on clothes and go outside.) I've seen some photos though and it looked amazing.

I did finally leave the house today. I had to. I had two photo shoots scheduled. And because the bus couldn't get me close enough to where I needed to be I had a nice long walk to one location. I'm not complaining, it made up for not leaving the house for two days. I enjoyed both photo shoots. The first was for a project that I'm working on with a friend. I can't wait to schedule more shoots for this project. The second shoot was for a local band. They had me standing in the middle of the street snapping pictures of them. The things you do to get the shot. I hope to get to take more pictures of them in the future.

Today is the first day of Spring. A Spring wish list is coming soon. To a theatre near you. Eh, more like a blog near you. My blog even. Mmmmm hmmmmm. I'm being weird again.

I can't wait for the J Dilla Tribute/Black Milk show on Wednesday. Can't wait!!!

*title is from a shirt someone had on YouTube. I really do want to ride bikes with him.

i'm a big kid at heart

2011-03-13T21:09:00.000-04:00

I was let go from my job on Wednesday. I didn't do anything wrong, it just slowed down and I wasn't needed anymore. Kinda sucks. I spent most of my days dicking around on the computer. Seems most folks don't really care to pay you to do that. *shrugs*

My first day of unemployment and I slept in until almost noon. I couldn't even do that on the weekends. The next day of course I was up early again. At least I got one day of sleeping in.

I need to make this time of unemployment productive. There's lots to do and I'm a major procrastinator.

Now that the weather is warming up, I'm going to start walking/running again. Mine as well since I wake up so early.

This weekend has been pretty great. And the coming week is promising.

Saturday, Neighbor and I went to the mall so she could buy some sneakers that she had her eye on. Some how I ended up coming home with two pairs of sneakers myself, a finger puppet, nail polish and eyeliner. I spent less than $10. You can't beat that.

I've been buying a lot of old school toys lately. A kazoo, a kaleidoscope and now this finger puppet. I love toys. I'm a big kid at heart.

Today I had brunch with OldRoomie and Neighbor. Delicious and fun. After lunch we ventured over to Home Depot so Neighbor could find an air conditioner. It's still too early in the season for them, but I walked out with a piece of MDF and some paint. Art project coming soon to a theatre near you. We were making caulk and wood jokes. I think we might've made the sales associate a little uncomfortable. It was pretty damn funny though.

I told OldRoomie about TheNemisis. She said she could see how I light up about him. I totally do. I think he's the bee's knees and wish we talked more. I wonder what he thinks of me. I'm not the type to ask. *shrugs*

spaceships don't come equipped with rear-view mirrors

2011-03-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

A friend messaged me telling me to quit looking at his boobs. I suddenly became very aware that I didn't have a shirt on, looked around and realized I was at home alone and got up and put on a shirt after I told him to quit looking at MY boobs.
Lost a damn sock. This is war sock monster. This. Is. WAR!
Funny how you think about someone you don't particularly care about and then bam they pop up. Think about someone you DO care about and they're far away. :/
Thanks babe > sup luv
Random chick to her friends about me while she held the door open for me: Damn! She got a fat ass!
Uuummm...okay.
I like boobs. They're kinda fascinating. And I have them and I'm still curious about them at times.
And after all it won't take long to fall in love/Now I know what I don't want/I learned that with you
When Hey Soul Sister by Train it makes me laugh because of you and then I sing it loudly and with much passion.
messy curly hair today. *loves*
I love Saturdays spent with friends that are full of good times and laughter. Jokes are born and fun is had.
swag...woo...
My #futurehusband will be passionate about something. His job, music, art, me, children, movies. Something. And what I don't know about what he's passionate about he'll teach me.
I've been playing Bruno Mars' Marry Me over and over the last couple of days. I like it. It's very upbeat and dancey.
Tried to buy a new computer monitor today, but couldn't find a sales person and was short on time. I might just have to order one.
I did get some much needed new shoes and clothes though.
It's a beautiful night/We're looking for something dumb to do/Hey baby/I think I wanna marry you
Thunder and lightening? Meh...unless he's here to cuddle with I don't want it.
Me: Goodnight moon.
Him: Nom nom nom.
Me: *laughs, smiles*
It's fun to watch people get excited about things. It makes you get all happy and excited too.
My #futurehusband and I will embark on fun adventures together. Skateboarding, bike riding, roller derby, hiking, camping, where ever, what ever.
Getting sick. This sucks. :/
You're killing me, Smalls.
My #futurehusband will braid my hair at night before we go to sleep.
I could've went to Chicago today for the day for $6. I should've went.
It feels good inside when folks want to spend time with you.
Sally Jesse Raphael glasses are on their way!!!
I hope tonight that I sleep through the night and get some good rest. (didn't happen, but I figured out what the problem seems to be)
One of my accounts is off by 10 cents and it's driving me bonkers. I'm missing 5 dollars cash and I'm not as concerned. What's wrong here?
Melissa Type Logic: If the person before me doesn't clean out the lint trap, I clean it out and dry my clothes and go on my merry way. If it's already cleaned out I dry my clothes and then empty it before I go. Basically I leave it how I found it and am not doing any extra work for anyone else.
All these puppy pictures are making my ovaries hurt. I want a puppy.
My #futurehusband will know how and when to make me laugh when I need it and just because.
My #futurehusband will fight for us when things get rough. Every day won't be unicorns and rainbows.
Cataloging my sneakers for Sneakerpedia. I didn't realize how dirty some of them were. Yuck! I guess I have some work to do at some point.
spaceships don’t come equipped with rear-view mirrors

flafel

2011-02-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

If you don't have the balls to approach me and have to send your friends over, then I don't have the time to talk to you. I don't think I'm that unapproachable...then again I am kinda mean.
I had someone from work ask me if I was from Brooklyn, said I had a vibe about me. I'm just me.
#nowplaying The Only Exception - Paramore
Rain, rain go away...come back on a day when I have no where to go and want to nap all day.
Rumor has it that hugs are a dudes way to test drive the boobies. Bwahahaha! That's pretty damn smart. I love hugs too much to stop hugging people.
I've noticed that I'm a lot happier these days and I smile a lot. I don't know what I'm so happy about, but hey, whatever.
Hookah needs to happen this week. (We're planning on Saturday. Yay!!!)
Flafel
This is bullshit!!! Sometimes I feel like I just have to say that. No reason.
That made me smile, but I'm not gong to read too much into it.
I'm willing and able/So I lay my cards on your table/I wanna love you - I wanna love, love and treat- love and treat you right
Make up looks kinda romantic today and I'm just going to work in the hoodie/jeans/Chucks combo. Eh oh well.
Ha, I mention Chucks and then get an email from Converse. One day I'll be able to order a custom pair of Chucks.
Gaaaah...I think I might be getting sick. My sense of smell is super sensitive right now.
My coworker who says he likes hip hop has no idea who J Dilla was. :(
If you claim to really be into and don't know who J Dilla is I secretly judge you and sometimes assume you must listen to Boosie and what not. *shudders*
*shrugs*
My #futurehusband will be a weirdo too. We'll both seem pretty normal in each other's eyes though.
Apparently no one checks their messages. They see the phone number on the caller ID and just call the number back. They'd save themselves a phone call if they'd just listen to the damn message I left.
I wanna hold hands with you and do dumb shit together.
throw your hands in the air...wave'em like you just don't care...and if you like fish and grits and all that pimp shit...then everybody let me hear you say O-Yea-yer
#nowplaying Come Close - Common
I like when he calls me babe. Even if that's just a term he uses in general. It still makes me smile.
You've got this look I can't describe/You make me feel like I'm alive/When everything else is a fade/Without a doubt you're on my side
Pushing rage. When the people in front of you walk to slow. I've had that. I wonder what it'd be like to just push someone too.

I want some fried chicken.

2011-02-21T11:59:00.003-05:00

I miss listing. Twitter was born and my listing stopped.

Coral is such a happy color. I'm currently obsessed with it and navy. Together they make my heart sing.

I'm gonna start doing a Picture of the Day (PotD) with my cell phone.

I wonder what things I'll capture.

I want some fried chicken.

Ever since I made that card I can't get My Cherie Amour out of my head. I hope he liked it.

Love does exist.

Totally smitten.

Please help.

v-neck + cardi + jeans + Chucks = so easy, so comfy, so my favorite right now

dress + cardi + Toms = can't wait for Spring so I can sport these

I need to get back on the job hunt.

I just want a job where I can be happy. Yeah, I know, that's a lot to ask.

Work is starting to get boring since no one is coming in really. I basically get paid to sit at a desk and play on facebook and twitter right now.

I'm enjoying putting on nail polish and make up. I've become kinda girly. It's a little weird, but cute at the same time.

I'm such a weirdo.

If you didn't already know...I'm ready for dress season.

And love.

I'm just sayin.

#nowplaying Friday I'm in Love - The Cure

I miss the dancing girl. My Front Page and Coaches folks know who I'm talking about. She's a little cheerleader mixed w/ I don't know what that other stuff was.

I miss the Front Page too.

Taking pictures would be ideal right now, though I'm not really inspired. It would be nice to just be out there snapping away.

STELLA!!! STELLAAAAA!!!

My #futurehusband won't mind eating all the yellow and orange Skittle so I don't have to.

I put on eyeliner left handed today while I was talking on the phone. This is funny to me.

“I don’t want to casually date forever. I just want to love one person really hard and really intensely. I want to settle down and be domestic and cook dinner and have lazy Sundays in bed. I want someone who will love me all my lifetime, who will be faithful, who will raise children with me, who will hold my hand when we are old and grey. I want a career I love, time to do the things I enjoy doing, passion, great sex, dancing, fireworks. I want it all.” ~Spatch from The Spatch Diaries”

I'm not even casually dating, but I want all that.

"Melissa L- You are one of the sweetest persons I know. It's awesome how you comfort me so very much in times where comfort seems impossible, You have morals and love and strength that is so very inspiring. Thank you so much for all that you've done for me which is much more than many. Thank you for being you."

You just never know how much you mean to someone sometimes. I've been finding that out lately.

I hate when people send me packages and they get lost in the mail. Twice in a month. :(

KL is already making plans to take me to the food spots in Hawaii. Now all I gotta do is save up the money and buy my ticket.

#nowplaying The Rain Don't Last - Hope

I woke up sideways this morning, feet hanging off the bed. And I wake up at the same time every morning regardless of what day it is. Annoying. I don't need to be up that early. :/

Don't folks know that no one answers unknown calls anymore. Come on man. Be smart.

"if i was to wake up tomorrow morning,and decide that i really wanted to write about love... my first poem...would be about u.
about how i love you the same way that i learned how to ride a bike:
scared, but wreckless.
with no trainin wheels, or elbow pads so my scars can tell the story of how i fell for u."
-Rudy Francisco

Yeah, it's kinda like that. I wanna jump in heart fist and just go for it. Take it all as it comes.

Boss's words before we left: Don't you mother fuckers come in here drunk tomorrow.

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went “Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you.” - Unknown

I'm in love with what the future brings.

So...it looks like I'll be taking part in a documentary now too. This pretty damn awesome. Maybe I'll share what it's about later. It has to do with a book we're walking on.

I never thought I'd be the starving artist type.

What would it take
To show you what you mean to me
Every word I say
Let's you know that you complete me
I'd paint your name in stars
I'd be all that you want in life
Giving me the chance
I know I'd make the perfect wife
The way I feel about you
Is more complex than the words I say
The reason I feel this way
I wanna do for you

Face tattoos are wrong.

I don't think my #futurehusband lives in Indiana. I don't know why that is, but yeah.

It's raining. Today feels like good day to stay home and lay in bed today. Too bad I have to go to work.

Green

2011-02-17T02:04:00.000-05:00

KL is moving BACK to Hawaii. I'm jealous. I want to go back. It's been 18 years since I've parted with my beloved Hawaii.

Meet Stella

2011-01-16T11:20:00.000-05:00

Isn't she beautiful. She was a belated birthday present from a friend. I love her dearly. I can't wait until she's all healed up and for the summer when I can really show her off.

Chicago, hold me in your arms

2011-01-10T00:48:00.000-05:00

But first I should probably wish all 0 of my followers a Happy New Year! So...Happy New Year!

Chicago was awesome. So awesome that I'm tempted to move there. Kinda. Maybe not, maybe just visit...A LOT.

So early December I messaged my friend Lizard on facebook asking her when we were gonna meet up in Chicago again. (She lives in Davenport, IA. Chicago is a good halfway point for us.) And she promptly replied that we should meet up later in the month. I thought about it for about two seconds and checked out some hotel rates and said to myself, hey why not. We put our plans into action and I started saving and moving money around to get things settled. And then I remembered that my Lexulous nemesis, Greg, was going to be home in Chicago at the same time and thought hey we should FINALLY meet up.

Greg and I met on MySpace like 5 years ago and timing was never right to meet up. Either I was there and he was somewhere else in the country or I had no plans to be in Chicago when he was home or when we were both there one of us had transportation issues. Always something.

Anywho, I was pretty damn excited for Christmas day to come and be over with (I don't celebrate Christmas) so we could get to Chicago and have a grand ol' time. I watched the weather obsessively to see if it would be snowing or super cold or whatever might happen that would make our trip not happen. And thankfully mother nature was nice to us and the weather was pretty good. It was actually warmer in Chicago than it was here at home. Which I would say is pretty rare.

The bus ride to Chicago was packed, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It was the day after Christmas and a Sunday. By the way, I LOVE the megabus. If it's in your area, you should give it a shot for some of your traveling needs. When we arrived I had a plan, because I'm a planner. My plan was to hit up Popeye's (they closed all the ones here because of bankruptcy I think) and have lunch while I waited for Lizard to get into town. Yeah, that didn't happen. I had it mapped out and hopped off the bus, used the bathroom and got to walking. It started snowing and when I got to Popeye's...it was closed. [insert huge sad face here] I was so very disappointed and I needed a rest, but I decided to just keep walking. It was about a two mile walk, with a heavyish bag, in the snow and the wind. I could've grabbed a cab, but I'm stubborn like that. Lizard arrived at the hotel probably 30 minutes after I did.

Both of us were hungry so we hit up the Indian Garden that was around the corner from our hotel. Pretty much everywhere we ate and went was down the street or around the corner from our hotel. It was PERFECT! Lizard found a Panera Bread (she eats there every day) and told me she would sneak out of bed to have breakfast there the next morning so I wouldn't know.) Indian was delicious, even if it does sometimes resemble baby poop.


Lizard enjoying yummy baby poop.

After lunch we decided to hit up the shops. I made sure to let Lizard know that I HAD to go to the Lego store, it was on my list. IT WAS ON MY LIST! Ha!


We're going to the Lego store!

We hit The Mile to walk off some of that food and ducked into a few shops to get warm. Lizard was looking for a New Year's dress and I wasn't really looking for anything in particular. I just like to look. I did want to hit up Sephora though, but that was really about it. There wasn't anything that really caught Lizard's eye so we headed back to the room, but first made a stop at the Hershey store and then Ghiradelli for some hot cocoa. Hot cocoa with caramel and sea salt sprinkled on top. Divine!


those Reese's cups were a half lb EACH! want!

When we go back to the room Lizard wanted to hit up the hot tub. I didn't bring my suit, but also didn't want to be sitting in the room by myself so I put on my sleep shorts and headed down there with her. There were little minions everywhere. I got a towel and sat on the edge of the hot tub and soaked my feet. It was nice. I tried to read a book, but the minions were splashing everywhere. There was a lot of stop doing that from the parents, but that did nothing. What happened to discipline?

After that we headed back out into the night for dinner. We hit up Kamehachi for sushi. It was kinda late and the wait staff seemed a bit perturbed when we walked in. Oops, but hey we had to eat. At the end of the meal the server came over and asked if there was anything else he could get for us and Lizard asked for something and the server awkwardly laughed and said oh, I actually closed out, I was just trying to be nice. Ha!

Monday my mission was to hit up a bank to get Lizard the rest of the money I owed her for the hotel room. Greg texted me while I was in the shower to find out what our plans for the day were because he was close by. Lizard hit up Panera for breakfast while I waited for Greg (nothing special when we met, just a hey, finally) and then we all walked across the street for a bit to eat at The Corner Bakery. Greg was a sweetheart and bought breakfast. I almost always love a man who feeds me. :) We all sat and talked for a good almost two hours. And I think one of the servers was flirting with me. Maybe? During our good long chat Lizard told me that she looked up to me in HS. Which was nice, but weird at the same time. I don't feel like I was anyone special back then. I wasn't trying to save the world. I wasn't popular. I was just me, doing my own thing. I did my best to be a good person, but I've always been that way. It made me realize that you really never know who's watching you.

Lizard didn't get the memo about black frame glasses. Also aren't we the sexiest nerds ever?

After what turned into brunch we kidnapped Greg and went shopping. He was a trooper. AND he went to the Lego store with me (where R. Kelly was serenading all the children through the speakers, who does that?). He's after my heart for sure. *winks* We're gonna do a travel show using Legos or something like that. Don't steal our idea. I'll cut you. Yeah you.

Dinner time came and it was time to bid Greg adieu.[insert sad face here] We navigated the streets to Greek Town dropped Greg off and hit up Greek Islands for some tasty treats. This was the only place we ate at that wasn't near the hotel. We HAD to have Greek food, it reminded of us Germany (oh did I not tell you, that's where I know Lizard from). I tried grilled octopus and had to have my usual gyro that I ALWAYS have when I go to a Greek place. That gyro was so tasty, I was upset I left my leftovers. I really wanted to finish them. We had a great seat in the restaurant. It was like we were reigning over our kingdom. Also I almost had my eyebrows singed off when someone below us ordered the flaming cheese and I leaned over to see what was going on. Ha!


Octopus, YUM!!!

When we got back from dinner we sat for a few and then decided to head back out into the night for a walk and more shopping. More so to walk than anything. I brought my camera with me to take a few pictures. I need to get better and taking pictures when I go on vacation. It'd probably help if I had a smaller point and shoot as opposed to my DSLR. We stopped again at Ghiradelli for hot cocoa. It's so good how could you not. Once back at the hotel it was hot tub time again. And then rest. We'd been on the go for over 12 hours.

While the sheets and pillows were nice and cozy for some reason I couldn't get any good sleep. I spent both nights tossing and turning and sleeping in different spots in the bed. I don't think Lizard slept well either. I know Tuesday morning we both woke up at around 430 in the morning and just laid there and talked until we fell back asleep.

Tuesday was check out and more shopping/walking around. I had a great time in Chicago and really didn't want to get on the bus to leave. I could've used a couple of extra days. Lizard and I decided that we'd make than an annual trip. It seems like the perfect time. Right after Christmas there are are some good sales and lodging is a decent rate. It was good to see Lizard and I'm glad Greg and I finally got to meet.

Who's that?

2010-12-17T12:16:00.004-05:00

Yeah, so on Thanksgiving I happened upon vintageortacky on YouTube and got sucked in and watched probably 6 hours of make up tutorials and was fascinated and drawn in by all the different looks. Funny thing is, I don't wear make up. Maybe some lip balm/gloss, but that's about it. Oddly enough I do own a few make up items though. So I went through my tiny supply and tried to imitate a few things and they were nothing to write home about. Then I became a little obsessed with make up and ended up spending a couple of bucks on some of the cheaper items out there and started to play around. It was fun and now I love a good nude lip. I like this look. It's not too flashy, but brings a little something. I really wanna try out some other color combos and expect that by the end of it all I'll have a bigger stash of make up. Look ma, I'm becoming a girl.

But I'm still kind of a goof ball. *shrugs* Also, that's what my hair looks like right out the shower and UNcombed. Yeah, I rarely if ever comb my hair. I know you're jealous. ;)

Lose 10lbs in 10 days!!!

2010-12-04T11:54:00.002-05:00

Okay, no not really what this post is about. I FINALLY starting moving more. Earlier this week when I went to put on some jeans and they were snug I got a bit frustrated and instead of not doing anything I decided I was going to start getting my butt up in the morning and walking. My start date was December 1st. True to my nature, that didn't happen and I went back to sleep. The next morning though I got up and was dressed before my alarm went off and got too it.

I think I walk slow though. I measured my walk on Map My Run and it's 1.56 miles and it takes me about 35 - 36 minutes to walk that. It'd take me over an hour to do a 5K. I need to speed it up. The only thing I don't like about my route is that it's a busy main road and there is a lot of exhaust from the passing cars. *blech* But for now I'll deal with it.

I'm particularly proud of myself because it snowed last night/this morning and was still snowing when I got up. And I still went for a walk. I decided that Sundays and Mondays would be my off days. And I decided that I wasn't going to let the snow bother me. Of course this was the first good snow so the sidewalks were still pretty nice, but they're going to start getting crappy and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. I don't want to have to travel to go for my walk. I guess we'll see.

A GameStop Holiday Wishlist

2010-11-25T12:30:00.004-05:00

TodaysMama and GameStop are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What is your holiday wish for your family?
A spirit of happiness and gratitude.

2. What is your Christmas morning tradition?
We never really had a morning tradition.

3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be?
An ALL expense paid vacation (covering my rent and bills at home as well) month long vacation to several destinations to include: New York City, Toronto, St. Thomas and Hawaii. Where all the daily things at home are taken care of and all I have to do is sit back and relax and have fun. Exploring, learning and hey a little bit of shopping would be fun too.

4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money?
By making sure to spend good quality time with the people I care about, letting them know how much they mean to me.

5. What games did you play with your family growing up?
Crazy 8's and WAR.

6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood?
We didn't have any real traditions as a kid. And now as an adult I shy away of too much holiday celebrating. I may be a little jaded about the holidays having worked in retail over the holiday season. Scary stuff.

7. Where would you go for a Christmas-away-from-home trip?
I'd love to go back to Germany. I miss the Weinnacht's markt.

8. Check out GameStop and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year?

An Xbox/Kinect for sure!
DSi for when I'm on the bus or traveling. I miss my Sega GameGear.
And last a Nintendo Wii, because I love, love, love Mario Kart.

thpppppt

2010-11-20T21:48:00.004-05:00

So I actually meant to post this a week and a half ago, but I'm kind of a procrastinator. Normally I wouldn't really share a photo like this because I really don't like pictures of myself that are not from the chest up. I don't think I'm fat, but I'm also not where I want to be at either. I keep telling myself that I'm going to start walking and get moving and eating better, but it hasn't happened yet. So I took these photos. This is the most I've ever weighed. I'm hoping these photos will motivate me to get moving. If I can't get back to the weight I was at in HS or right when I started college, I'd AT LEAST want to be back under 200 lbs. and the only time I ever want to see 200 lbs again is when I'm pregnant. And 200 won't even be sticking around long after that.

I can't say that I don't have the time to work out because I'm currently unemployed. I have ALL day to work out and I've started to feel that in life, when you want something, you make time for it. Saying that you don't have time is an excuse and quite a popular one at that.

I don't know how often I will post about my weight or what I'm doing, but I hope that I can stick with getting moving and eating better because I don't have a real plan right now, which probably isn't a good thing. I guess I'm just taking it as I go. But I know I can do it. I'm capable. I just need to quit making excuses.

So yeah, hopefully the next time I post a full body pic, I'm a wee bit tinier.

Another Year Has Passed

2010-11-04T11:42:00.002-04:00

I started doing these survey types things back in my scrapbooking days and I tried to do this on in particular on the same day every year. I haven't kept up for the last couple of years. I thought today was a good day to start doing thing again, so here I go.

Melissa Lambino, 31
November 4, 2010 11:50AM

Inside, I feel like I'm: in my mid 20's. Funny thing is when I look back at previous answers I felt the same way. I think maybe I've just stopped growing.

A goal I'm working right now: building my small business and getting my life in order. Doing me.

My most recent achievement: Hmmm...probably still that I passed the driving test two years ago and now have a driver's license.

The last gift I bought for someone: bought? I'd have to say cupcakes for my former coworker. I tend to make gifts these days.

The last CD I bought: Does trading CD's count? If so, Timeless by Sergio Mendes. I like to trade stuff, saves me some money. :)

My current favorite song: Maybe So, Maybe No - Mayer Hawthorne

The last movie I saw in the theater: The Social Network

The last book I read: That I've finished - Heaven is Small by Emily Schultz, I'm currently in the middle of reading several books.

The last new thing I learned: Tin foil will cut you worse than paper and you won't even realize it until your finger is bleeding.

What I'm wearing right now: White tank top and pajama pants.

The last person I talk to on the phone: Someone at Old Navy. I had a question about some pants.

What I ate for breakfast today: Townhouse crackers and tea.

What I thought I'd be doing by this age: married, wrangling a couple of children. Happy and successful.

Something I'm saving up for right now: that's a long list, but here are a few items: new specs, shoes, iPod Touch, yarn, etsy goodies, new clothes.

Something I think about a lot: new ideas for products, my shop blog and things to add to it, lists of things and getting organized.

The last person I helped: Mary. She needed shopping advice.

The last thing I apologized for: probably Shaad for
inadvertantly offending him. I didn't mean it.

Something I'm worried about: happiness, children, companionship.

What I wish for when I see a shooting star: happiness, success, to win the lottery.

What my plans are for the rest of the day: clean the kitchen, cook some food, crochet, organize, fiddle around on the internets.

You Want One

2010-10-11T18:30:00.002-04:00

No really, you do. You should check out this shop - http://issaino.etsy.com. Thank me later or now. Doesn't matter. ;)

You Can Call Me Al

2010-10-08T01:53:00.000-04:00

Skimming some of these lists as I repost them here on this blog and I'm missing the friendship I once had with MsRed aka AB. We had a lot of good times together and a lot of laughter. But...I understand that we all move in different directions in life and sometimes that means that friendships must part ways and that's okay. We still have our memories and in my case the lists that some of those memories ended up in.

Like this in August 2007:

Me: *stirring from most wonderous nap on the couch*

MsRed: *in the kitchen with coworkers at 4AMish "DRINK YOUR DRINK BITCH, DRINK YOUR DRINK!!!"

I can still hear her saying this with such passion.

And this:

Me: Regulators!!!

MsRed: *with a serious face* I have to leave you now.

An Etsy Birthday/Lottery Wishlist

2010-10-03T22:24:00.003-04:00

Oh how I love the etsy. Here's a little treasury I made of the things I'd love to purchase if I had the extra money.

This is only a small list of things I love. There's so much more out there. I could spend hours going through pages and pages of items on etsy.

Fall List and a Birthday Wish List

2010-09-27T22:00:00.005-04:00

I decided this year that since my birthday is in the fall that I mine as well just combine my fall list with my birthday wish list, especially since this year I don't really want much for my birthday (all I really want is new ink and an iPod Touch). Oh and some cupcakes. So...here we go fall list and birthday wish list in one.

new ink (right forearm, "Sono il suo schiavo." I'm thinking a nice ribbony script.
32 GB iPod Touch
~~cupcakes from The Flying Cupcake preferably the Red Velvet Elvis, Koo Koo for Coconuts and the chocolate with the coconut frosting German chocolate I believe.~~
574 Grey Suede New Balance Boys sz 7
hugs and laughs
oodles of soft, kushy yarn for cowls and scarves and hats and maybe blankets
~~corduroy TOMS, saffron maybe or the orchid~~
long cardigans and hoodies
Black Sepharim Wings 0g
support and encouragement
new job that pays well and gives me the time to pursue other avenues
time well spent with friends
day trip to Chicago BEFORE it gets too cold
more happiness
lots of etsy sales and custom orders
skateboard
win the lottery (more than $20, preferably somewhere in the thousands range)
patience while I figure out what I'm doing
peace, happiness and rest for myself and all that surround me
lose 20 lbs before winter hits

Not a long list. Totally attainable I think.

Listy Listing

2010-09-25T00:23:00.002-04:00

I used to have a blog where all I really did was list, but they're shutting down. So now I'm trying to transfer all my lists to this blog which I haven't posted on in over a year. How about that? I also realized that I probably need to change the blog description because I'm not a 20 something anymore. Next month I'll be 31, but I don't look my age. I look like an early 20 something still.

Anywho...so yeah, there'll a bit of activity over here while I transfer all those posts. It seems like a lot. *shrugs* I might start blogging again too. Maybe.

Birthday Wishlist

2009-10-23T23:28:00.000-04:00

I've discovered that when I list things I want they tend to come to pass. So here we go:

cupcakes (cupcakes are what's real in the street)

smoke hookah (this is always a good time)

a Mexican pizza from Bazbeaux's w/o the sausage

a skateboard

time off from work that I get to spend with friends

iPod Touch (I wanted the iPhone, but I like Sprint service and still have a year on my plan)

the Duct Tape Skytop Supras sz M7

~~a cute pair of peep toes or heels like this, this, this or these (although they're not peep toes)~~

new hoodies, specifically ones that are warm and fuzzy

cardigans

a car or a rental for the weekend

a trip out of town

peace and happiness

trip to the casino

new apartment @ Turnverein

some of my favorite etsy finds

crafting goodies

new orders for ~~hats~~, jewelry and ~~cards~~

hot cocoa mix from godiva

this desk from Target

this bookshelf

a pedicure or spa day

Dunkin Donuts

a P & S camera (that new one out with the screen on the front looks pretty neat)

new ink

red Chucks

yellow Chucks

a DVD player w/ a subscription to Netflix

a Wii

SneakerBoy

2009-06-08T23:24:00.001-04:00

...in ListMaker format...

I have no clue when I noticed SneakerBoy. It was gradual.
I do know that it was the roundness of his butt I noticed first though.
He looked to be no older than 19.
Then I noticed he had great legs and a nice upper body.
Still I thought he was young, no need to get all riled up unless it was only to be a quick stockroom encounter.
Later I noticed he was more than just a nice body and that he had a nice voice.
But still he couldn't be older than 19 and well, I can't do anything with that. We couldn't even go to a bar and grab a drink.
A few weeks ago while talking to one of his coworkers I found out that he was indeed old enough to partake in adult activities.
That was when the school girl crush sprouted. The green light that signaled I could go ahead and see what could be.
But my nerves kept getting the better of me when I tried to say just a simple Hi.
A handful of missed opportunities and a lot of encouragement from all my friends on top of the shock they expressed when they found out how shy I tend to be.
After not seeing him for a few days, too many missed opportunities, threats from friends and enough signs I finally just asked one of his friendly coworkers if SneakerBoy was available.
His coworker smiled and said he wasn't sure and that he'd give me his number and I could ask him myself. His coworker also mentioned that SneakerBoy had mentioned me to him at one point. Good sign?
I'm not a talk on the phone person.
I texted him.
He said he wasn't sure who I was, but had a pretty good idea. He agreed to grab a drink or lunch with me.
The next day at work he walked passed and gave a shy wave. On his second pass by, there was there was awkwardness and my confidence kind of fell.
I thought, at some point we'll actually have to talk to one another.
I later walked passed his place of employment and his coworker stopped and asked if I'd talked to him.
No.
He then told me to hold on while he retrieved SneakerBoy, I said don't do that, but it was too late, SneakerBoy spotted me and approached as his coworker exited stage right.
We chatted...about work. But it wasn't forced and it was an easy conversation.
Later via text I suggested a few days to grab a drink, but he was unfortunately for me busy and getting ready to head out of town.
I haven't heard from or seen him since.
I'm waiting until after he gets back from out of town before I suggest another date.
If he's still busy, well then I'm leaving the ball in his court.
I'm hopeful though.

This is a public service announcement, this is only a test...

2009-05-07T00:05:00.000-04:00

Pulled this off of my MySpace blog...

Notice to ALL Future Boyfriends...a little information guide to help make our time together more pleasant.

1. I WILL want sex more than you. More often than not you'll turn me down more than I will you. I'll probably be more ready and willing than you can handle. This will irritate me at times.

2. I have the tendency to be an insensitive jackass. I'm working on it. Words will come out of my mouth that are not intended for anyone's ears. I might actually mean them, but they still aren't always meant to be heard.

3. I need space when I sleep. That doesn't mean I don't like to cuddle, I don't mind it for a little while...but when it's time for sleep and all that body heat is making me hot and sweaty I need some space and the cool side of the pillow.

4. I have A LOT of male friends. They are JUST friends. Be easy.

5. I am not that open with my feelings until I feel I can trust you enough with them. I don't like being vulnerable. In time I'll open up.

6. My friends are an important part of my life. They were here before you...there will be times when I put them ahead of you.

7. I'm quiet and I like quiet. Excessive noise pisses me off...especially music that's not my own.

8. I'm always on time...if not early. I drives me crazy when people are late, especially when they have no good excuse. It's a sure fire way to piss me off.

9. I like to learn about the things that make you tick and that you enjoy and are passionate about. Teach me.

10. I like the idea of lingerie, but think tanks and boy shorts are sexier.

11. I love to cook and experiment in the kitchen, but the dishes afterwards are my enemy as is the trash. Mucho brownie points if you wash the dishes and take out the trash for me without me ever mentioning it.

12. I REALLY appreciate the little things...back rubs...cuddling...holding hands.

13. Hitting and teasing are my way of showing affection. Hugs and kisses are too.

14. I will buy you things. Little things that make me think about you and that I think you'll appreciate.

15. I'm eclectic and creative and will sometimes appear as if I'm not all there.

16. I'm a bit of a organized neat freak...even when I'm messy I try to be neat and organized.

17. Sometimes I like to listen mainstream music even though I know it's bad. I can't help myself sometimes.

18. Everybody poops, everybody farts, everybody etc. It doesn't bother me, it's human...but if it's gonna stink warn me and if it stinks light a match.

19. I don't like people. I have the tendency to be quiet and shy at gatherings. I'll warm up eventually...just don't ditch me for hours at a time.

20. I can be quite perverted at times. I'm still a lady though and expect to be treated as one.

21. I'm quite adventurous in bed and in life. Let's have lots of fun.

22. I am intelligent. Just a little slow at times. I take pleasure in learning.

23. I do not have a good relationship with my mother and brother. I don't like to talk about them. The incidents that occurred between them and me may affect our relationship. I'm working on getting past it. Please be patient.

24. I act tough, but I'm really a thoughtful and caring person at heart. I love and crave affection. I'm touched by the little things, like forehead kisses.

25. I'm easily entertained. Give me a piece of paper...maybe a pen too and I'll be good for a while.

Week One

2009-04-21T02:09:00.002-04:00

Amazing what The Daily Plate considers exercise. Standing around at work actually burns calories and means I can eat more if I want to. I probably shouldn't have though.

I lost one pound this week. I didn't really exercise though, but I am more aware of the things I eat. I eat a lot of bread and sweets. All that bread devouring is probably why I'm so fluffy. *deep heavy sigh*

This week I'll have to try to work in more exercise and cut back on the bread. Oh sweet bread how do I love you.

Anywho...I do have some things I want to blog about, I just need to sit my fluffy ass down and get to writing. Twitter and Tumblr have taken over my blogging. That and other projects. Gotta start making those lists of things to do. Makes life easier.

Fatty Fat Fat...

2009-04-12T13:45:00.002-04:00

Okay so I don't really think I'm fat, but I've gained a lot more weight in the last couple of months than I wanted to. I'm going to say it was due to the stress of medical problems and all the changes going on at work. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So...I'm joining Catherinette of The Catherinette Chronicles in Operation Muffin Topple.

You should join too...it'll be fun. No really. It will.

5 Things I Believe In

2009-03-26T10:50:00.001-04:00

Writing prompt from another blog that I saved eons ago. The prompt had 10 things, but I couldn't think of 10.

1. Portion control is a big part of weight gain/loss. Push away from the damn table. You don't need the super sized fries.

2. God does exist, in some form, man or woman. I also think that other beings exist as well. It can't be just us. The universe is huge. And they're pretty smart for staying away from of us this long. We can be kind of a mess.

3. Just like we're required to have a license to drive, I think we also need a license to procreate or something. There are so many people out there that really shouldn't have children. It's kind of scary...and they're going to be our future. Oy.

4. Only you can make you happy. It can be difficult, but money only brings temporary happiness and sometimes people just disappoint you, especially when you hold them to ridiculously high standards.

5. There's a song out there that can describe how you're feeling every second of every minute of every day.

The Past 15 Years

2009-03-21T14:12:00.002-04:00

Had this saved from momomatic's blog and never got around to it, but now that I've got some time:

"Think back on the last 15 years of your life. How would you summarize your life in just 10 bullet points."

So let's see that would be from age 14 to 29. Wow...14. Well...let's go.

1. Moved to Germany. Graduated from high school.

2. Moved back to the US and then back to Germany.

3. Went to and graduated from college. Met my best friend.

4. Moved to Indianapolis, got a job and then got fired for the first time.

5. Found another job. Learned there was much more to Indianapolis than I thought.

6. Realized my love of photography and began to pursue it.

7. Met some of the greatest people ever. (Some of those people have come and gone, but they're still awesome people regardless.)

8. Became "homeless" for a bit, but got back on my feet.

9. Had a few photos published in the local weeklies and had a print bought. Realized my dopeness. And FINALLY got my drivers license.

10. Slowly figured out things well be okay. And that it helps when you surround yourself with good people.

I'm supposed to tag people, but I figure you'll do it if you want to. So get to it...

I'm BACK!!!

2009-03-16T23:59:00.000-04:00

I didn't get a new laptop, but I DID break down and get internet from home to use on my old but reliable desktop. I missed you guys. I still don't know why the library has vox blocked. Hmmm...oh well. It feels good to be back.

I'm also on Twitter now: http://www.twitter.com/chickenb00

Stuff I Like

2009-02-12T16:44:00.000-05:00

In no particular order:

These are dope. And unfortunately I think I've disqualified myself from winning a pair. That's right, you can win these. Just take your ass to see Coraline before March 1st and stay to watch the credits for the passcode. Heck just go see the movie, it's awesome.

I'm a tee-shirt junkie and I'm sure you've seen me wearing some bizarre shirts and normally I don't like to share where I get them, but today...today I will.

http://www.teefury.com - Tee today, gone tomorrow. User designed tees are listed for one day for $9 and then they're never printed again...well at least not via tee fury.

http://shirt.woot.com - Another site with limited edition tees.

http://www.threadless.com - More great tees.

I like quirky things and handmade things and things that not everyone has. I also like to support artists.

http://www.etsy.com - Of course I have my own little shop too: http://issaino.etsy.com

I don't blog as much as I used to and a lot of others have seem to have dropped out of the blogging world too...but we seem to all have picked up on Twitter. The new place to spy, the new place to rant and you can do it on the go.

http://www.twitter.com

Warm and toasty and you don't even have to kill a polar bear. Real fur jackets are yuck...and men really shouldn't wear them...but them seem not to have gotten the memo.

Available at: http://www.rocketworld.org/creature_hoodie.htm

Okay so I don't know how to skateboard, but I want to learn. And if I never do I still think this is a dope idea. One day I'm gonna have my own house and these will be there even if they end up only being an art piece.

http://thinairpress.blogsome.com/2008/06/03/coolest-steps-in-the-world/

Because everyone should have a mustache pencil.

http://www.atypyk.com

Okay, maybe not something I particularly like, but I think the series is cool and definitely makes you think twice about what you eat.

http://www.naturalnews.com/PhotoTour_Mystery_Meat_1.html for the rest of the photo series.

I love tattoos and am currently saving up for my next one. (I still don't understand why people are surprised to find out that I have a few.) I love connect the dots and this is a pretty clever idea...but what would YOU get?

Click here to see what dots connect to be: http://www.core77.com/blog/object_culture/connectthedots_tattoo_11423.asp

Free shit. I don't know anyone who doesn't appreciate free stuff. Movie codes, coupons, magazines subscriptions and more.

http://www.frugalfreebiesanddeals.com/

I'm a bum...

2009-02-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

...but it's not my fault.

My laptop was stolen shortly after Christmas and the only place I can get online really is at the library and for some reason they have Vox blocked. :( Hopefully when I get my tax refund I can get me a Dell Mini and I'll be back to listing. If you really miss me I have a few lists on my MySpace blog: http://www.myspace.com/filipinomami79 or http://sarcasticremark.blogspot.com.

Kind of Reflecting on 2008

2009-01-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

Earlier this month I originally wanted to reflect on last year and now that I think about it, it's for the better that I don't. It's not like it was a horribly awful year or anything, but a lot happened that I don't want to rehash, but I suppose I will reflect on the good times though:

I FINALLY learned to drive and got my driver's license.
Someone bought a print from me.
I spent a lot of time with friends and had a great time.
I got to know some friends better.
I started to let down my guard and let people into my space.
I moved into my own place.
I realized my dopeness.
I got to a point where I had a some extra dough to buy sneakers. Oh sweet sneakers.
Other people realized my dopeness.
I took more pictures.
I lost some weight.

I hope to accomplish a lot more this year. It might be slow going, but it's going to get done.

Sorry Friends...

2008-12-30T12:11:00.002-05:00

I always intend to blog, but I don't. And to make things even worse my laptop was stolen this past weekend. Yes, I'm still quite shitty about it. All my photography is gone (my fault for not backing it up, but still), things I'd written - gone, music - gone. The asshole can have my laptop, I just want the photos and memories. Unfortunately I have very little hope that it'll end up in a pawn shop. And the police officer who took my statement didn't really seem like he wanted to take down the report either. Jaded much?

I hope to be back soon though. Anyone know where I can get an inexpensive laptop with wifi?

...grant my last request...

2008-12-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

Crappy-cold-accident-inducing weather. :( Thai food and tea with Les was quite lovely though.

A Saturday AND Sunday off during the holiday season...I'm THAT good. Of course my first day back is a 12 hour day. :( Long and uber boring. [Next Monday will be 13 hours, gotta LOVE those extended mall hours.]

Ugh, what's going on? Why do I feel the need to know what's going on, when it's really none of my business? Stupid girl feelings.

Gotta let go of the things I can't control.

The mall being open until 10PM during the week is DUMB. No one is out that late shopping. Next week maybe. What a waste of payroll and resources. And don't tell me it's extra money in my pocket because I'd get the same amount of hours either way. It just means I won't get home until later.

My Ex's wedding was beautiful. I'm glad that he's found someone. I'm just a wee bit jealous.

"...it's such a sweet memory/baby of you and me/and how we used to be/beautifully young/sometimes I just sit and smile/thinking about you for awhile/wondering how you and I/it's such a sweet memory...you were so funny/had me in stitches/and now any man I date/must make me laugh/kissed me in places...you were so sweet...you saw the good in me/even talked about marrying me/the future we tried to see...would we still have the same chemistry..."

Warm, toasty crocheted hats for sale. Really I'd make them for free if people just provided the yarn, but if someone wants to pay for them, that's fine too. Hey I've got bills today and the extra money ALWAYS helps.

Watching Common dancing with Ellen makes me want to dance with him. Grab his hand, pull him to the dance floor and dance and laugh and have a good time.

Wow! An order for 100 cards. Seriously? I can dig it. Glad I let Duwayno take those cards to shop them around, even though it was a bit hard to part with them. For those of you who didn't know...I make greeting cards. They're pretty awesome and special.

It's like the opportunities are just falling from the sky. I like it. Gotta make sure I get my ducks in a row and do it right though. Funny thing...I wrote myself a check (recommended from my readings of the Law of Attraction) and things are starting to happen. I need to go back and reread those books. More positive thoughts and positive actions. It really DOES work.

Jerks...sending my settlement via eCheck so I can't go on my mini shopping spree. My coupons better be valid by the time the check clears.

*deep heavy irritated sigh* I don't get why some people are so caught up with appearances. Why is it inappropriate for two friends to have lunch together? Yes, my friend has a significant other, but if the relationship is as secure as he says it is, then what's the problem? It's just lunch. We'll eat and talk, probably talk more about business than anything else. But why is it okay for him to give me a ride home late at night? People can see us leave together and know that he's taking me home, but it's not okay for anyone to see us sitting together having a meal? I don't get it. Can someone please explain why this is inappropriate? One person thinks it could be because he digs me...highly unlikely, but...I am quite charming and beautiful.

Let go. Let go. Let go.

"...baby let's get closer tonight/grant my last request/and just let me hold you/don't shrug your shoulders/lay down beside me/sure I can't except we're going no where/but one last time let's go there/lay down beside me/I've found that I'm bound/to wander down that lonely road/and I realize all about your lies/but I'm no wiser than the fool I was before/I just want you closer/is that alright/baby let's get closer tonight...tell how can this be wrong/grant my last request/and just let me hold you..."

Why do I keep thinking it's Friday? Christmas needs to go ahead and just come and go so that we can get to New Year's and have the holidays be over.

I think I need to find someone who is anti-Christmas as well and see if they want to go out for Chinese that day or Thai.

Why am I so tired all the time? It seems like I've been feeling like this for the past couple of months. Six hours of sleep used to be fine, now eight or nine hours of sleep isn't even enough. What's going on?

I need a LBD (little black dress). I'm growing into the dressing up phase. Don't get me wrong I still love my t-shirts, hoodies, jeans and sneakers. I'm just liking to occasionally switch things up and surprise people. Get out of the rut and grab some attention.

For it to be winter, my skin still has a lovely tan. I'm usually starting to get quite pasty by now.

My chest and tummy ache when I see/hear information about him that isn't quite to my liking. What is that? Why do I care about him that much?

"...hands down/I'm too proud for love/so with eyes shut/it's you I'm thinking of/but how do we move from A to B/it can't be up to me/cause I don't know/eye to eye/thigh to thigh/I let go/I think I'm a little bit/a little bit/a little bit in love with you/but only if you're a little bit/little bit/little bit/in la la la la love with me...and for you I keep my legs apart/and forget about my tainted heart/and I will never ever be the first to say it/but still game over/I would do it/ push a button/pull a trigger/climb a mountain/jump off a cliff/cause you know babe/I love I love you a little bit...come here/stay with me/stroke me by the head/I would give anything anything/to have you as my man...little bit/little bit/little bit in love with you/but only if you're a little bit/little bit/little bit in love with me..."

Two weeks notice. I don't think I've ever put in two weeks notice.

Sometimes I think the kid has a crush on me. Either that or he's just really, really nice. Dinner, dessert, etc. and then when I try to return the favor...it's no, no I don't need anything don't worry about me. That and it's been mentioned that when I'm off he talks about me. Oy.

You girls really need to get over your insecurities. I'm not trying to steal your man.

"Well I know I'm getting an iPod and if I'm don't I'm going to be pissed." -bratty teenage girl talking to her mother. Really??? Is that what Christmas is about? I wanted to turn around and smack her. Brat. One of the few reasons I don't celebrate.

Is Christmas over yet?

"...last Christmas/I gave you my heart/but the very next day/you gave it away/this year to save me from tears/I'll give it to someone special..." I don't know this is my favorite Christmas song, but it is.

Must start working on that goals/affirmations list for the new year. No resolutions. And the winter wish list.

All of a sudden I can't decide what I want for my new ink. *sigh*

Looking, looking, looking for a kitchen table. Must get one soon so I can get to work.

Wishing, hoping, dreaming...him. A girl can dream can't she. I'm in a sappy love song mood. *hmmph*

"...what would it take/to show you what you mean to me/every word I say/let's you know that you complete me/I'd paint your name in stars/I'd be all that you'd want in life/if given me the chance/I know I'd make the perfect wife/the way I feel about you/is more complex than the words I say/the reason I feel this way/I wanna do for you/it's easy to say I love you/so the truth of my love shall reveal/this feeling I have inside/I wanna do for you/can't you see true love/it's staring you right in your eyes/I've given you so much/your heart I'd never compromise/we've been through all the rights and wrongs in life/together we'll keep getting by/so now it's up to you/I want to be that perfect wife..."

Coming soon...

2008-11-17T23:34:00.002-05:00

I have a blog post coming soon. Really I do.

If you really miss me you can check out some of my lists here: Make Me a Sandwich

...how do we move from A to B...

2008-11-17T00:10:00.000-05:00

Duncan Hines Mini Warm Delights are such a tease. All that warm, gooey, chocolatey goodness.
I love my new hair. It's fun and sometimes reminds me of the Cowardly Lion on the Wizard of Oz.
Lovely, I get all comfy in bed and pop in a movie only to find out the disc is cracked. BOOO!
I really need to remember that my home computer monitor is NOT a touch screen like the one at work. I want a touch screen.
This chronic back pain has got to go. Sleeping on my stomach probably doesn't help.
The new job is starting to piss me off. Why'd you hire me if you weren't going to ever schedule me?
I've been thinking about it and I think I need to look for a regular full time job. I don't like worrying about money. I want to be at least a little comfortable. I want to know that I'll be getting a regular paycheck, instead of being unsure how many hours I'll have this week or the next.
Something is wrong. I don't like that I'm aware that something is wrong. I have an idea about what I need to do, but I'm still feeling really lost and disconnected. Sometimes I just want to curl up in bed and cry. It sucks monkey balls. I try to spend time out with friends in order to get out of my head, but I'm tired. I missy happy go lucky less stressed me. Where is she?
I'm lonely.
But I have great and wonderful friends who care about me. I'm glad for that.
"...hands down/I'm too proud for love, but with eyes shut/it's you I'm thinking of/but how do we move from A to B/it can't be up to me/cause I don't know/eye to eye/thigh to thigh/I let go/I think I'm a little bit/little bit/a little bit in love with you/but only if you're a little bit/little bit little bit/ in la la la la love with me..."
OMG, what is with the heat??? I should not have to have a fan in the window when it's cold outside. At least I don't pay for the heat.
Ugh...foiled again. I'm never gonna be able to get the shoes I want. *sigh*
This wanting things and not being able to get them sucks. Another reason I need a regular (better) job.
Must get to work on hats, scarves, cards, art pieces.
Why am I having dreams about being pregnant. Kind of scary.
Might possibly be getting a car soon. Whooo ow!
I miss writing/blogging. I'll try to make it back here more often.
I miss Dunkin Donut dates with Lesley too. Soon?
Time for change. Time for progress. Time for productivity. Time to get things moving. I can do it.
Sprint Mobile Broadband sucks ass. I've got to find a solution to my internet problems.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

2008-11-04T00:18:00.000-05:00

I apologize for the lack of lists. I couldn't log onto this site from the library because it's blocked. I do have a couple of lists on my MySpace blog though.

TheFireFighter SAYS he wants to see me and take me out for pizza. Right. [I let him stop by, we did NOT go out for pizza.]
Mmmmm...warm, toasty, heat paid apartment.
Fucking smokers. This is my air too. Quit polluting it. Why is my downstairs neighbor's smoke some how filling into MY apartment. Blech.
I'm kinda shitty with him right now. He's probably really busy, but I'm still shitty with him.
Looong ass work day AND it seems I've already offended one of my new coworkers at my new job. You say curvy, I say hippy. Get over it.
Hi, my name is Stephanie (Melissa's alter ego) I'm nice and kind of slutty. [Yeah, I don't know. I think I looked pretty damn good though. Boobs all out.]
Boo at not having the shoes I ordered in stock, but still available for order online. :(
Yay for Chewy Lemonheads and Friends.
Woo hoo for three days off in a row. [It turned into two days so I could train at job 2.]
It's time for crocheting. Gimme yarn.
I'm not sure how long I'm gonna do this phone as a modem thing. The connection kind of sucks and it's REALLY slow. I need speed.
I feel like such an ass. That is NOT my grandfather's name, it's my uncle's. Stupid security question.
Waking up every morning with my back in pain and hurting is NOT cool.
Yeah, I think that crush is over. Too many things I can see that aren't particularly my cup of tea.
FUCK! Abnormal test results mean I must go back for more testing. :( Me no likey the hospital and it's not where I want to spend any of my two days off.
Vote! Vote! Vote! I voted two weeks ago. So glad I did that.
Go out tonight or don't go out tonight? I think I shall stay in and rest up. The holiday season is upon us and I have things to make and do.
SHUT THE FUCK UP. I really wish I could poke my neighbor with a stick. All that damn yelling and screaming.
I want to be lazy on my days off. Anyone want to come do my laundry for me. I won't make you wash my unmentionables.
"...I'm realizing more and more that I'm less interested in sex for the sake of sex and more interested in the intimacy of having sex with someone that I have an emotional connection to." Yeah, that's kind of how I'm starting to feel. There are days when sometimes all I want to do is the dirty, but there seem to be a lot more days where I want to be held and cuddled and wake up next to someone I connect with and then do the dirty. Does that come with age?
It seems like open marriages/relationships keep coming up on talk shows and blogs lately. And while I don't think I'm a jealous person, I'm not sure how I feel about sharing. Although I can't imagine just being with one person.
Anyone want to cuddle with me tonight?

Are you registered to vote?

2008-10-02T12:12:00.002-04:00

Only a few days left to register...you're online right now...go do it.

And in honor of my favorite shirt and the upcoming election, I created this shirt:

You can buy it here: http://www.cafepress.com/isrm

Go buy it.

And then vote.

pleaseandthankyou

PS. I hope to be back blogging again soon. Work has been crazy (working nine and thirteen days straight and shit like that).

Fall Fun List

2008-09-22T00:28:00.000-04:00

sexy naughty monkey boots
warm, fuzzy hoodies to cuddle in during the cool fall nights
side gigs & extra moola
comfort
more money, more hours, more clients, more work, more hugs, more kisses, more time enjoying the company of friends, more lazy hours spent in bed with someone special, more happiness, more love, more sneakers, more threadless tees, more attractive men to flirt with, more dates
inexpensive car with good gas mileage that runs well
book club @ Front Page
donut dates @ Dunkin Donuts
kick ass skateboard/long board
0g tunnels and spirals
happiness for self and those around me
time to give back
trip out of town
curly hair
flatter stomach and stronger back
custom chucks
new ink
spa day
horizontal tango fun
someone special to enjoy the fall foliage with
affection
met needs
neck kisses, back kisses, long kisses, short kisses, soft kisses, cheek kisses, kissing in the cool fall air, kissing in the sun, kissing before work, kissing after dinner, kissing in bed, kissing in the car
support
good health for those around me
good thoughts and good actions

A Mini Bucket List

2008-09-21T00:29:00.000-04:00

I'm cheating on my listing...I grabbed this from another blog I read.

8 Things to do Before I Turn to Dust

Learn another language and use it successfully.
Have and raise a child who contributes positively to society.
Fall in love.
Spend a week spoiling myself in various ways.
Lose 30 pounds.
Cook an entire meal from scratch
Go on a week long cruise.
Spend time with friends and family enjoying life.

Now it's your turn...and post a comment with a link to your list so I can read your list. pleaseandthankyou.

Where is everyone?

2008-09-14T00:31:00.000-04:00

This list started over a month ago. I'm a slacker. Sorry. Dude seriously, you don't tell your supervisor that you just took a hit off someone's joint while on your smoke break. I don't care what you do on your own time, but while your on the clock working with me...that's not gonna fly. Don't want anyone else talking to me? Get married? Boy, stop. You're not allowed to say anything to me during sexy time anymore. I have my own place!!! Whoooo ow! It's good to have a place to myself that's MINE! I can walk around naked. *grins* And have "company". *winks* And have dinner parties and good times. AND peace and quiet. Oh bed, how I've missed you. I will never leave you again. MUST. OBTAIN. FAN. Oh so happy!!! I have such GREAT and WONDERFUL friends. Always on time. Always there when I need them. Movies and a picnic at the IMA = fun...fun...fun... My ex got married today. *rubs arm* TheFelon is like the little brother I never wanted. The punching wars that ensue are quite entertaining at times. We have fun at work...throwing shoes at each other, sneaking up on each other, getting people kicked out of the mall. SHUT UP!!! If I have to hear you talk about shopping for another minute I'm going to stab you in the throat. It's okay for there to be quiet whilst at work...read your book and quite complaining. Why do I have so much lotion??? And to think I have a $10 off coupon that I feel the need to use...but do I really need to? NOT. AT. ALL. Am I going to use it? We'll see. [I didn't. Smart budget decision.] Isn't the point of being a delivery driver to drive yourself around? Since when did it become okay for your mother to drive you around while you deliver pizzas? Why oh why is L-Shot running around at bars and hip hop shows...take your pregnant ass home! Grey: Barack Obama Crowd: Barack Obama Grey: Barack Obama Crowd: Barack Obama Grey: John McCain Crowd: *silence* *Grey falls and rolls on the floor laughing* Hezekiah: I'm a scorpio and we do what we want. *thinks* Yeah we do. Things might not always come out as we want them to, but I guess that's just the nature of the beast. Um...I think I just witnessed a drug deal out in front of my building. Awesome. Blackberry Jam w/ Jumbo Shrimp = CWAZY!!! The jerks in the leasing office are really starting to get on my last nerve. Fix the damn faucet already, you fuckers. This is ridiculous. I'm still not completely unpacked yet. I'm not sure I'll ever be. And where the fuck did all these damn clothes come from? I hope I can sell off most of them. Otherwise Freecycle/Goodwill it will be. I need new bras. THAT ACTUALLY FIT. I think my male friends have made it harder for me to find someone to date. Combined they all possess these great qualities that I appreciate and compare others too. They're always there when I need them and leave me feeling very well loved and cared for. [Part of the reason I'm still in Indiana.] Contacting corporate got my shower fixed. Oh yeah baby. Now all they need to do is fill the damn holes they left and fix the other shit. TheFireFighter is finally and officially not in my life anymore. It was hard to cut him out, but I did it. I feel a little bad about it. I still have my doubts about telling him I didn't want him in my life. I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. It probably was for the better. He was just going to continue to disappoint and hurt me and I definitely don't need that. Worky, work, work, work. It really is nice to have my own place and food in the fridge. I know I went from a studio to a 1 bedroom, but I had a lot of stuff in that studio. Why does my apartment feel so empty? Oy, in a month and a half I'm going to be 29. My last year in my twenties. Weird. I so don't feel like I'm the age that I am. Where has all the time gone? Where is everyone??? VERY full week ahead. I can do it. I'm gonna make it. I apologize in advance to anyone I'm a little bitchy too. Working pretty much 13 days straight is not very fun. The pay check will look nice, but oy. Really??? You're bitching about the the EXTRA hours we gave you. We couldn't just dole out hours all willy nilly. There is a proper way to do things. Your bitching is only going to get you less hours when they hire more people. Is that REALLY what you wanted? You really shouldn't have gotten as many as you did. Ugh...some people are just never happy unless they're complaining about something. ...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go... I'm already tired and the new week hasn't even started yet.

A Birthday Wish List

2008-09-09T00:32:00.001-04:00

I will get back to regular listing shortly. I've been busy working and I have a new apartment. :)

My birthday is a coming (you've got about a month and a half ;) ). I'm pretty easy to please, I usually just want to spend time with friends celebrating and having fun. But gifts always make it a little bit sweeter. A girl can dream can't she.

New camera equipment

Time will spent celebrating with friends

Trip out of town, Chicago maybe? Heck anywhere out of Indianapolis would be good at this point.

Strawberry Chicken Salad from Urban Element

New plugs, tunnels or spirals, 0g.

Skateboard or a bike

Any of the following from Dunkin Donuts: a mini cheese pizza, grilled cheese flatbread sammich, boston creme donut, coffee cool lata (the only way I'll drink coffee pretty much).

The Hello Kitty Fender in black with the matching guitar strap

Sammich from Jimmy John's.

This wallet:

These earrings:

Bagels from Einstein Bagel Bros.

Winning Lottery Ticket

Wii

Dinner at Fogo de Chao or Maggiano's

One day where I get to be spoiled and get to do what I want to do.

Plenty of hugs and cheek kisses.

Nike Air Structure Triax 91

Puma Screaming Hand

Osaka Dunks

Dr. Feelgood Dunks

Pee Wee Herman Dunks

I Shoot People

Photo shoot of me.

Any one of these http://www.threadless.com/?streetteam=chickenscratch">Threadless Tees in a girls XL.

tries not to panic

2008-08-13T01:40:00.004-04:00

I've just been informed that I have two weeks to find a place to live. *deep heavy sigh* I knew this was coming but I didn't realize it would be so soon. It's hard not to stress out. Unfortunately I don't have enough income right now for an apartment so I'm looking for a job at the same time (I'm checking CraigsList multiple times a day to pick up a gig or two here and there). Or quick ways to earn cash. I currently have a loan listed on Prosper.com: http://www.prosper.com/lend/listing.aspx?listingID=380742 and hope that it will get funded. This is tough. If anyone knows of a way to earn some quick cash (that's legal and doesn't require nudity...okay I might actually be willing to do some nudity) please let me know. Seriously.

Pray for me or send out positive vibes or whatever it is you may do. pleaseandthankyou.

Heck pass on my loan link if you can...maybe someone will open their heart and even bid down the interest.

You make a dude wanna fall in love.

2008-08-07T00:37:00.000-04:00

A LONG list that's been marinating. Basically I've been a little list lazy. I'm thinking it's at least two or three weeks old.

Dickmatized...I am. I have to get past it.

"You have to wait a little a while before you can show someone your true self." <--- I'm not sure how I feel about that statement.

This situation effin' SUCKS. I mean really...it does.

Gotta get out of this funk!!!

"Just so you know, they don't serve Ding Dongs here." Thanks Nick, I wasn't sure.

J.Moore made a real good comment about eating Ding Dongs. I wish I could remember it.

I've heard quite a few people say that their mate makes them want to do better and be a better person and that's why they're with them. I have a friend that makes me want to do better and be a better person. That seems kind of weird to me.

Going back and reading my other blog...I think I write pretty well at times. I don't know why I doubt my writing skills.

I'm not sure what I'm doing other than torturing myself. :(

let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.let go.

When it's late and nice out and I just need time to myself, I really want to walk home sometimes. I know it's not safe. I'm thankful that I have friends that care enough not to let me do it.

change.change.change.change.change.change.change.change.change.change.change.change.change.

It HAS to happening. It's coming.

"...let the boys make love/let me fuck ya from the back/hair pulling, hot wax/they won't do it like that/they won't tie you by your wrist/and spank ya lil sexy bad ass, cum quick/yeah I know you hard at work/yeah I know your boss a jerk/you can come to the platter/tie you up with your skirt...girl gon' lose your mind/let my dick touch your spine/cum four or five times/southside bump-n-grind/young lady stand in line/but I wanna fuck you/and all ya freaky dreams/I wanna make come true/like fucking on the back porch/go on let it out..."

I bet you can't tell what's been on my mind.

I had a potential client cancel a shoot we had set up, my gut told me she didn't want to work with me. I was bored today and thought I'd check out her photos since I noticed she had a new profile photo and low and behold it appears she went with a photographer she actually questioned me about (I had nothing to say since I didn't know them or their work). I hate to say it...I'm not the BEST photographer, but the images they gave her. Eeesh...blurry, bad lighting and layouts and little creativity. This definitely makes me more confident in the work I do. Now if only I could figure out how to express that confidence...as I'm told I tend to come off very humble at times.

Why is it when you smile at old people they still look at you all grumpy grumperson?

I'm having bouts of wanting to settle down these days, but I really can't imagine what it'd be like to be committed to one person. I think I'm a little scared and selfish, having to consider how my actions are going to make someone else feel. Actually I know I'm a bit scared, I have to get past/passed that.

Consistency. Very much needed. Doesn't need to be in romantic relationship form.

You called at 330 just to hear my voice? Dude the only reason you should be calling me that late is if you want have late night relations, I'm sleep.

"You make a dude wanna fall in love."

Asking to see my portfolio over lunch/dinner = LAME. Coffee...maybe. Lunch/dinner sounds like you're trying to make a date of it. I don't think so...especially since your by dropped the ball and said you've been trying to talk to me for months.

It doesn't impress me when men try to speak to me in tagalog. I don't speak that language. If anything it just annoys me because I don't know what's being said. Quit showing off. It's lame.

It's been so long since we've talked on the phone. I enjoy catching up and just talking.

Hi-effin-larious

He's kind of right, I do sort of just drift along and go with the flow, which causes me to end up in the situations I end up in. I probably need to be more aware of what's going on and gain a little more direction or who I might end up doing something dumb.

I LOVE sex. Very much. I forgot how much I really enjoyed it up until recently (I think a six month hiatus makes you forget sometimes. I guess it's true, the more you get it the more you want it). Partaking in hot sweaty, oh god yes, sex...can I get some more of that. Even when there's no connection, let's just do this so we can both go on our merry little way sex. There hasn't been any make sweet love sex in a looong time, but I bet that's pretty effin' good too.

Excuse me, what?

2008-08-04T01:52:00.002-04:00

The other night Batman asked me if I was going to move in with him. At first I thought, what the fuck? Then I immediately responded with, I need my own room and you don't live convenient to where I work. My way of saying no.

See, the thing is Batman and I don't know each other THAT well. We're friends, but we're not dating, well really I'm not sure what's going on between us other than that we rendezvous late at night and occasionally steal kisses when I think/hope no one is looking*. I must've done something to him** and now he wants 24/7 access. *shrugs* Whatever.

Usually anything said during or post sex in my book is null and void, because sometimes in the heat of the moment when the banging is oh god yes good you say something you might not mean to (or blurt out mean things when it's this was a waste I'd rather be filing grandma's toe nails bad). This time I'm actually a little confuzzled though due to somewhat related things said and done when we were fully dressed and in an entirely different setting. Yeah, I don't know. It's probably best not to think about it and take it for what it was...a random request post sex.

*He once texted/called late at night because he claimed he wanted to hear my voice. Not a good look, calling after midnight should only be done when it will result in a late night rendezvous. pleaseandthankyou. Wanting to hear my voice can wait until the morning.

**I think the power of the P will have to be a separate post.

Gettin' Some

2008-07-29T15:54:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: This blog may be TMI. I'm very open about sex and have no problem talking about it. If you don't want to know certain aspects of my life I suggest you close out the window now.

I just reread this post from a blog on my blogroll and then just happen to come across the song below in my iTunes and just felt the need to post.

I quite enjoy gettin' head, more so when my partner knows what he's doing (there's something to be learned from the song below and the comments of the post mentioned above). I just don't get enough of it. That's partially my fault though because I don't ask for it...as opposed to past partners who aren't shy about it. My favorite thing though is when dude finishes giving and then looks at me and says, your turn. My response, I'm sorry sir...I didn't ask you to do it, that was your choice. I don't feel obligated to return the "favor". This of course usually results in a pout, where I still don't give in. If I'm giving head, it's because I want to. Thankfully though there are quite a few men out there who just love to give head and don't ask for anything in return, but greatly appreciate when you do reciprocate.

Anywho...there's more that can be discussed on this topic, but right now I've got to get to work.

Good Evening, Class
I would like to welcome you
To Pussy Eating 101
Pay close attention now

There's rules and regulations to pleasin' a girl
Goin' downtown could really rock her world
But you gotta make sure that you know what you're doin'
There's a map down there that you gotta start learnin'

First, you gotta make sure you rehearse
Move 'round your tongue like your tryin' to curse
'Cause there's nothin' worse than a tongue that doesn't work
Then your girl will be mad and youl feel like a jerk

Spread out her lips before you kiss
You wanna make sure that you find the clit
Lick a little bit then move it all around
Lick it all over 'til you hear her make a sound

Then you know that you found a good spot
Tease it and touch it, but not a lot
Put your mouth on top, you're in control
You can make it happen - fast or slow

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Don't be bland - better act creative
Be on top of your game and be innovative
Experiment a bit and change it up
Lick a little lower then put it in her butt

Then you can place a finger inside
Make sure that it's wet and easy to glide
If she's really wet, and your finger slides,
Try to put another one inside

But you better still have your mouth on the clit
You know you're doin' good if her legs twitch
Then pick her up and set her on your face
Pick a large area to give her some space

She needs some room to place your mouth where she want it
And let her ride your face like she's 'bout to cum on it
The key to a girl's heart is goin' down south
So come on everybody let her put it in your mouth!

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Let your mouth do the talkin' and your tongue do the walkin'
Work on your cardio, there is no stoppin'
Get through the pain if your jaw locks
You gotta be a soldier and don't stop

Lick her and finger her at the same time
Feel around the G-spot seek and you shall find
Rup on that spot, lick on top
You got to be coordinated, show her what you got

Once you got that down, put your other hand around
I have to be blunt and not profound
Put your wet pinky finger in her asshole
You're in three different places - it's time to go

Your pinky in her ass and your other in her hole
Your tongue move fast like a drum roll...
If your girl can't come this way,
I guess she's not ready, come back another day

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Lick it, better lick it right
Touch it, better touch it right
Kiss it, better kiss it right
Do that pussy right

Finally...

2008-07-23T17:12:00.002-04:00

So this post is old...well a couple of weeks at least. I FINALLY got my drivers license. Yay!!! I overcame that fear and let go of the added stress and made the appointment to take the driving test and passed. The goal McDishes had set for me was July 4th and I'm sure I could've taken the test around then, but I procrastinated and didn't make the appointment in time and ended up taking it a week later. It's okay though. I have my drivers license and that's all that matters. I'm so proud of myself and a lot of my friends who understand how much of a struggle this was for me are proud of me too. And it feels great.

I don't really have a great desire to own a car right now, BUT I am being a responsible adult and have started to put away money from each paycheck towards a car. There's still gas and insurance too, which I'm not really looking forward too. I'm not sure how people do it. Can't I just buy a bicycle and call it a day?

Being able to drive is going to open a lot of doors...eventually. I can't wait. I think I might have to rent a car one weekend just for fun.

Fancy Hamster

2008-07-23T00:37:00.000-04:00

Tuesday (of last week):

I think my paycheck is still fucked up. Not cool dude, not cool.

I be'd an adult today and did NOT buy those dunks that I really want. I gotta get on it so I can gets them next go around. Anyone wanna be my sugar daddy?

It's nice to be able to grow out my nails again. All nice and long. Good for scratching. Not so good for typing speedily.

I need this t-shirt:

Who wants to buy it for me? Pretty please?

"I'll eat a Ding Dong." - Me, really wanting a cupcake, but Ding Dongs were the only option.

Of course our perverted selves giggled hysterically at that one.

Smoochies? Um no my dear I said okie dokie. See that's what you get for calling at 5-something your time. I don't mumble, I'm just sleep.

OMG...my coworker doesn't know how to STFU. It's okay to be working with someone and not have to be talking every single minute. Silence is GOLDEN!

If you haven't heard...I'm pretty much awesome!!! A portion of a photo I took made the cover of the Nuvo (the whole photo is on the inside. Woo hoo!!!

It's so weird to not have my ring on. I feels naked.

Bum: Can I get some alcohol...some love...between your legs.

Me: *shakes head in disbelief* did he really just???

*points to chest* Milk, milk.

*points to crotch* Lemonade.

*points to booty* Around the corner...fudge is made.

...change...change...change...change...change...change...

...relax...relax...relax...relax...relax...relax...

...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...let go...

It's going to be okay. It's okay to let go and let people in.

It was nice to get all fancy hamster for once, too bad the venue sucked donkey balls. Cash bar, expensive drinks, it smelled like fish and chicken (which they were serving). Oy.

Happy 30th Birthday J-Me!!!

Rocco and I have come to agreement. When he becomes a celebrity, we'll get married and then after 6 months we'll get divorced due to HIS extramarital affairs. Sure works for me.

My phone is being weird again. I deleted a sent text message weeks ago and every time I send a new text message it reverts back to this old deleted message. Weird...weird...weird.

Sometimes I just wanna hug OldManFirefighter.

Really dude, you wanna just walk by and barely say hi and NOT give me a hug. Okay dude. I got you.

My goodness...please put some clothes on.

Thirty minutes waiting for someone to serve me = I'm not coming back. Ya'lls won't last long, just like the last place didn't last that long. Fuckers...I just wanted something to eat.

Some time this week:

Working on a Sunday sucks!!!

Dude...holding me close, whispering in my ear, rubbing on my leg and booty AND THEN sending me back to my friend. Not cool.

Nice to know even when I'm a hot sweaty mess in my work clothes that this man is still impressed with me. I feel beautiful and wonderful.

"Dick is addictive." <---at least good dick is.

I think I pass the test. Do you?

"...kill yourself, resuscitate yourself, and kill yourself again..." *rolls on floor laughing*

It bugs the shit out of me that KOOL keeps sending me junk mail, I don't know how I got on their mailing list, especially since I don't smoke. BUT, the Xeos speakers they sent me are pretty effin' cool.

"...Sex became a coping mechanism. I found myself only engaging in sex because I was lonely. I hated being alone some nights. It was easy for me to pick up the phone and call someone. Usually, I didn't want to be doing it and just went through the motions. Sex only proved to me that I was liked and that men found me attractive. It was my value system; sex made me feel worthy..." -Terrance Dean Hiding in Hip Hop

I hate to say that I kind of relate to some of what he's saying; my current theory being that everyone wants to fuck the Asian chick, but no one wants to date her. It sucks. It needs to change.

Okay, not have a car or access to a car officially SUCKS!!!

I love noodles and cheese. Mmm...mmm...mmm...bitches.

"Lighten up and don't let the weight of the world get you down." <--- yes indeed.

I PASSED THE DRIVING TEST!!!

2008-07-14T00:38:00.000-04:00

Last Week

"...if you admire someone/you should go ahead and tell'em/people never get the flowers/while they can still smell'em..."

I need to work on that.

Dunkin Donuts hasn't even been open two weeks and some of the staff already recognizes me when I come in. It's quite ridiculous and shameful. But I *heart* donuts and now the tasty little mini pizzas the have.

I really need to start eating at home more.

"always on time" <--- I wrote that, but can't remember what it pertains to. Sometimes I make notes and if I don't get back to them in a reasonable amount of time I have no clue what they mean. *shrugs*

I ACTUALLY laid down, relaxed and watched TV last night. The only time I'm ever really able to sit still long enough to relax and watch more than 10 minutes of TV is when someone else is sitting with me. Otherwise I constantly get up to go do something.

"Your photography sopunkin turns me ON...i wanna bone!" Such lovely comments on my BUSINESS page. I have such great friends.

Another unproductive morning/afternoon. I'm not really sure what I should've been doing, but I'm sure there was something.

I really need to figure out my priorities. That'll have to be another list.

There is so much that I want right now. Material things, emotional and physical needs. It's tough. That's another list too.

I want my driver's license, but have no real desire to own a car and all the headaches that go along with it. I'd rather have a bicycle. Low maintenance.

This waking up early to be to work at "normal" hours SUCKS!

I'm going to have a few photos published in the Nuvo!!! Yay! Watch for them. I also earned me a couple of free meals.

Quickies are quite lovely.

Dinner company this evening was quite nice. How do you ask a gentleman to dinner or to hang out without him thinking your interested in him in anything other than friendship? He's a nice guy, I wouldn't mind just hanging out with him. But from a previous interaction, I think he might be interested in something more. Dang it...I'm so damn charming sometimes. *winks*

Nike samples...in my size...hmmm.

Les keeps telling me I need to create a blog about my bus adventures...so I did. You can read them here. Enjoy.

I PASSED THE DRIVING TEST. I GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!!!

The woman kept telling me to breath. I screwed up a few things, most likely from nervousness, but I passed. *huge sigh of relief*

No fireworks. :(

This humidity is killing me. I love the warm summer sun, but man.

When I work on the weekends I forget the days of the week.

Rain, rain...go away.

There's Com trying to get folks drunk again. Not this time dude. Not this time.

I had the ORIGINAL winning number tonight for the raffle for the Rick Ross concert tickets. I did NOT claim the prize. WTF am I going to do with Rick Ross tickets?

Sweaty hugs don't bother me when they come from certain people.

I want him. I don't know why, but I do. *deep heavy sigh*

"...want to be loved..."

2008-07-07T16:20:00.000-04:00

das Wochenende

Yeah trying to go from 6g to 4g after only two weeks without the help of a professional piercer...not a good idea. *winces in pain*

Patience nerd. Patience.

"...for you I'd do anything/even if it means I let you go/never know what you mean to me/'cause I never let my feelings show/thought this crush was just a game/now I know that this is very real/way I feel may not ever change/the fantasy of you with me surreal/what am I to do/this heart of mine is blue/just can't get...over you/how can I move/the thought of you so strong/just can't get over you/'cause every now I think I'm crazy/even ever to try to make you mine/can't you see this is killing me/to know deep down inside I'm not your kind/silly dreams lead me right to you/where you hold me tight/treat me right/love me like you loooove/love to be loved/want to be loved/the one and only me/just can't get/how.../what am I to do..."

I really hope I get to see him this go around.

The Circle is full of debauchery and tomfoolery on Saturday nights. It's really great for people watching. I'd love to sit here on a warm night with him and cuddle/hold hands and silently enjoy his company and watch.

I feel like I'm still on the verge of tears. Like it's still marinating inside.

When I sit back and take a look around I often feel like I'm the last single girl left of all my female friends. It's not true. I'm not. But that's how it feels a lot of the time. Heck even my co-workers have someone.

Who's going to help me cross something off of my Summer List? And what's it gonna be. I think I've made some good progress so far.

There are a lot of nights I should keep my butt at home and be productive and/or just chill out. But I can't help myself. It gets lonely at home and sometimes a little suffocating. I'd rather be out. Plus it's summer and oh so nice.

People do some bizarre ish to their cars. And this is just a regular Saturday night. I can't imagine what Expo weekend is going to look like. I might have to bring my camera out.

I think I might be afraid of love and I wonder if I'll EVER be able to let go enough to fall in love and let someone love me back.

*sigh, sniffle, weep*

Give me consistency.

That dude has the right idea. A plain ol' bicycle with a motor. Peddle if you want to, probably don't even NEED a license for that.

I want to be wealthy and recognized, but I don't want to be famous.

*waits patiently to see what Grey has done with the photos from the shoot yesterday*

I'd wear more dresses if I could find ones that fit properly.

It's amusing when you're sitting alone and you catch someone doing something and you look over and the person next to you caught the same thing and you glance at each other and smile/laugh at what is sort of like a little secret you now share.

I quite enjoy reading at bars. Yes, I'm a nerd and I'm okay with that.

Com is just not right. He gets everyone effed the eff up...and then dips. Come on dude, that's not cool. A shot and a beer is good enough. You don't need to add a mixed drink on top of that. No means no.

The highlights of the night of course are: a) Rocco putting up such a fight getting into the car that they threw him into the trunk and b) Grey hopping out of the car and running to hide behind a tree when I got dropped off because he thought they were going to let Rocco out of the trunk and he didn't want to be around when that happened.

Oh what a night!

No hangover! I get faded easy, but I come down quick. My skin felt like it was on fire, but my teeth were chattering because I felt a little cold on the inside. I'm thinking no more drinking for the rest of the summer and if there is any...I'm sticking to beer/cider.

Mmmmm...garlic fries from Boogie Burger. Who knew potatoes could taste so good?

I WON THE LOTTERY!!! Okay so it was only $5, but I still won. I even told the cashier I was going to win.

Magic. *winks*

I had a great time hanging out with Les in Broadripple. Fun and relaxing.

If I could put as much time and effort into myself, projects and my business as I do BSing around the house I'd be one successful and productive mother effer.

Ugh...checking out my brother's MySpace page just to see how he's doing and then seeing photos of him brought me back to what he'd done to me. And now I'm just disgusted and angry. I could've done without that for the night. I HATE that idiot. Yes, I said hate.

*weeps*

The 4th of July is OVER...knock it off with the firecrackers already you bastards. I'm trying to relax/sleep/etc.

The beginning to a long work week. Let's put on a happy face and make the best of it. Yes?

...'cause I would give anything...

2008-07-05T16:18:00.000-04:00

Well isn't that a lovely surprise. But uh...there are about 9 hours missing. Please fix immediately. Thank you.

AWESOMENESS! I wanna visit. Who's coming with me?

The name calling texts always make me giggle and smile. And always when I seem to need it most.

Girl dates are awesome fun. After three drinks she didn't even try to get handsy with me or anything. *laughs*

I keep wanting to blog about specific things. BLOG, blog, not list blog. This focus thing is always a bit difficult for me. My mind always wanders and I get sidetracked and distracted and then a week later the thought is forgotten. *deep heavy sigh*

I try to write things down often, but they still get lost at the wayside.

MUXTAPE. I like discovering/rediscovering music in ways like this. Listening to music I might not listen to otherwise. Check, check, check it out.

"...and for you I'd keep my legs apart/and forget about my tainted heart/and I will never ever be the first/to say it/but still I/yes you know I..I..I../I would do it/push a button/pull a trigger/climb a mountain/jump off a cliff/'cause you know baby/I love you love you a little bit/I would do it, I would say it/I would mean it, we could do it/it was you and I and if only I/I think I'm/a little bit, a little bit/a little bit in love with you/but only if you're a little, a little bit, little/in lo-lo-lo-lo-love with me/come here, stay with me/stroke me by the hair/'cause I would give anything, anything/to have you as my man..."

Rain, rain go away. I have some work I need to do today.

I try not to be such a complainer, but sometimes it's hard to let go of even just the little things. There's already enough negativity in the world, I don't need to add to it.

Worky, work, work, work. It's going to be a looong week. Looong. But the paycheck will be nice and fat.

Always be prepared. I had fun working with Grey today making him splash in the puddle.

Crying in public sucks. I try not to do it, but sometimes all the bottled up feelings of frustration, irritation, loneliness, fear along with who knows what else gets to be too much. And at the most inopportune times. I tried my best to hide it, but my face always has to tell on me.

*deep heavy sigh*

But...it's then when I'm reminded that there ARE people out there who care about me and love me.

Thanks dude...those hugs really helped.

Why do some dudes always have to bring up how I shot them down? Especially when I'm having no luck at the game myself?

Go away headache.

Can I Rob Him?

2008-06-30T00:46:00.000-04:00

I quit Job 1 today. I had to. I know I was an ass about it, but I knew if I didn't do it the way that I did BossLady No. 1 would some how convinced me to just work one day a week or one day a month or something or other.I just couldn't do it anymore.

I feel like I let him down. I shouldn't though, I had to do what is best for me.

Oy another heart episode. I haven't had one of these in forever. I'm not sure what's worse a lady doctor visit or a heart episode. It's like someone has there had wrapped around your heart and they are squeezing very hard and very fast. No bueno.

Working the two jobs was turning me into an asshole and I noticed that I was starting to drink more than I normally did. I wasn't getting very much rest either. Tired Me = Cranky Hose Beast Me.

Happy Me is back.

It was nice of TheMC to take me to lunch/dinner. He's really not the douche bag people seem to think he is...at least not to me. *shrugs*

"Can I rob him?" *laughs* That's so sweet, you can rob him. Just hold him down so I can punch in the face and/or balls.

So...apparently my eyes change color? I don't know. I guess today they were a lovely light brown as opposed to a darker brown. I think it's the light. But whatever, I just hope that wasn't your lame attempt to hit on me.

I can't help but sway to J. Dilla's - So Far to Go.

Walking the 32 blocks home was kind of nice. It was quiet, which I would expect at 2AM. I'm not tired and do not feel sore at all. Probably not one of the safer things I've done, but sometimes I just need me time. And I can be stubborn.

Why milk, WHY?

Oh so comfy jeans and tees and sneakers. How do I love thee? (And quite nice that I can wear them to work and be more of me.)

"...as long as you know who you are/and what you're about/nothing they can say can shake your pride/and make you doubt/the beauty you have in you/and when they give attitude/you can tell them like this/say, I'm beautiful and special/and I think it's about time to tell you this/I'm gonna be the best me/that I know how to be..."

Dang Wet T-Shirt Contest was cancelled. I was ready. I had on my white tee and everything. *sigh* Maybe next week. I could use that $100 prize.

I flip flop between who I want/like. But I know who really holds that spot. Moving on.

"...she ask me can I do the Laffy Taffy/I said I do to make the pussy happy..." *rolls on floor laughing*

Sitting here waiting for this new potential client has me mucho nervous. I'm not even this nervous when I go on interviews. I can do this. She already seems impressed with my work. This is going to be easy.

Okay I'm a little irritated that she's late.

It's funny how women (people) see themselves compared to how others see them. A skinny women sees herself as fat when well she's not. It's crazy how our minds work.

There's something about the smell of sunblock that I love in the summer.

"...please baby don't/don't fall in love with me/please baby don't/you know my history/see honey I/I'm just trying to warn you/please baby don't fall in love with me/I've been cruisin down this road for awhile now/I should tell the truth/girl you've so good to me but I know/I'm no good for you/you should run while you can/find yourself a better man/cause I'm know for brief romance/and break hearts across the land...please baby don't/don't fall in love with me...now on second thought maybe we'll give/this love another try/cause I can't see you with no one else/I'm selfish I can't lie/so let's go, let's go slow/you know all you need to know/it could end on day but/let's just say we'll see how far it goes..."

You're such and ass. I'm sooo sorry I don't fit into the little box you've put me in or believe I belong in. I've gauged my ears, I want to learn how to skateboard, I like sneakers, I'm getting MORE ink. It's not a new trend. I'm not following the crowd. It's a been a part of who I am. You really don't know me. I really don't know why I allow you to take up any of my time. *throws hands up in frustration*

Oh my...how that lady travels on the bus with newborn twins and another set of twins under 4 is amazing to me. I will take my children one at a time pleaseandthankyou.

I want a cheeseburger.

Time for change. I need to do something with this hair. I'm either cutting it all off or getting a perm. Either way something needs to happen. Blah. Stupid hair.

Two weeks until I take the driving test. Let's hope I can get these road bumps figured out before hand.

From now on we don't talk about bad dates. We don't even acknowledge them or give them anymore thought. That's bad mojo. *smiles*

Awww...my little gay boy won't be working at AE anymore...well not the AE downtown, they transferred him out to Columbus. :(

JT is the best...she wakes up and cooks us biscuits, grits, eggs and bacon (of which I don't partake in, but do enjoy the smell). What could be better than that?

I feel so naked without my ring. How could I forget it?

Look lady, you're here in the US, where we speak ENGLISH. Don't look at me like I'm crazy because I have have no idea what you're saying.

Wow, the way these young girls treat these boys and vice versa makes me not want to have kids. And if I do they will be in the house...ALL THE TIME. Geez. The things that come out of theirs mouths. We most definitely didn't talk to each other like this when we were teenagers.

Work was pretty effin' awesome today. The night could end with more awesomeness if I get to make out with someone or get some naughty lovin'. [The night ended with more awesomeness, very unexpected, but quite pleasant, but how which did I get? *winks*]

SPICY.

Gas is $4.xx/gallon. Why is it cool to waste that driving around the circle? You don't look cool. You look dumb...and lame. *shakes head*

Happy, happy, happy. People can tell I'm A LOT happier. It's loverly.

Talking to Lucky Rex about sex...kind of weird. I'm not a freak. I'm just adventurous. Don't worry, I'm safe. My face does not want to see the palm or backside of your hand.

It probably IS pretty obvious when I like someone, I gotta work on my poker face. And I'm not embarrassed to admit that I wonder what Action Jackson's package looks like. I mean come on, with a women our goods are clearly visible and what's not well you pretty much know what you're getting, but with a man you never know what you're getting. Him in those tight jeans and a very noticeable bulge...I'm curious.

Wow...just...wow!

Sleep, sleep, sleepy, sleep.

Wow...now THEY'RE calling from their cell phones. Explains why this man's wife was wondering who I was and why my number was in his phone.

Kiss me.

2008-06-23T00:45:00.000-04:00

SOME TIME LAST WEEK

More compliments regarding my skills this morning and from an unexpected source at that. Time to book another session.

I need some Kinder Eggs.

I have never wanted bigger feet in my life. Why can't the shoes I want come in my size??? Foiled again. Not in my size. I'm thinking none of what I want is meant to be. Signs maybe?

Idiot/douche bag manager.

Dude you're trying to hard and mentioning anything that has to do with commitment is no bueno. Big ol' red flags homie. It's going to be over before it even started.

"This is how you like it, right?" -Boss Lady No. 3 to Boss Lady No. 1 (I knew what was going on, but my mind immediately went to the perverted place it does.

People keep telling me I look like I've lost some weight. I wouldn't really know of course since I haven't weighed myself in a few months. But I suppose it's possible.

I don't mind helping out friends with lunch or moving or whatever. I've been SO blessed this year with a place to lay my head that I want to give back any way I can.

I wasn't expecting to see HIM out.

Great minds think alike.

Why does everyone seem to think I've got something going on with ________?

Amy, Amy, Amy...

So he thinks I have a pretty face. I know a lot of folks dig the body, but I'm never sure about the face.

TheFireFighter ACTUALLY came through when he said he would and then even took me out to lunch. *almost faints from shock* It was pretty nice and I'm glad we got to spend some time together. I'm still keeping my distance as not to be disappointed yet again.

I'm thankful for my friendship with McDishes. He pushes me. When I look back to where I was and where I am now and think about the people who've supported and encouraged me, he's always on the list. I'm also thankful for Import/Export, TheMC, JT and everyone else who've opened up my eyes to see how great I am and can be.

Please don't tell me what I can and can't do. Or at least put it in a way that doesn't sound like you're telling me what to do. Make it sound like you're giving me advice.

My ears throb...and itch...but I skipped 8g and went straight to 6g bitches. I'm almost there.

Ha...so now I'M an asshole.

Who the EFF is calling me from a PRIVATE number at 11PM? Leave an EFFIN message. I'm not answering and if I do, you're not getting the standard greeting. I'm not telling you who I am. And no I don't know who your husband is...hmmm. Someone's fucking around on the phone.

It's funny to see folks out acting silly when you're used to seeing them quiet and reserved.

Stupid kid...I know you were just trying to cop a feel when you "bumped" into me. Your ass is lucky I was working. That definitely deserved a smack upside the head. Get the fuck out of here with that shit.

See all that cussing. Oy. Must get in under control.

Ah yes, the joys of working in the mall on a Saturday night. Did anyone else catch on the news the fight at the mall? Gotta love the teenagers who don't know how to act right.

I almost fell asleep in the park...at night. No bueno. It was so nice out though and the breeze was quite loverly.

I *heart* when my "fiance" plays my song. *rolls on floor laughing*

"...let go/and let me live inside you/what your mouth don't say/baby your thighs do/I want us to arrive together/I love it when the weather/is wet and sticky/some depict me/as being conscious/yeah I use my head/it was you who fed/my appetite for seduction/biting and cussing making love and uh/touching where no one has ever touched before/the heat go you open like an oven door/because of your innocence/even more you'll remember this/hardcore gentleness/before you wasn't into this/on the ride your freak became limitless/holding on to the night and me tight/as we write on the walls/a story called go/you have come so far/you've got so far to go..."

This thing with TheMC...it comes and goes. I appreciate it his friendship...I like him...but I don't. Eh. Whatever. I've got other ish to worry about. I've pretty much put him in the friend box. It's easier that way.

What I really want from ThePromoter and TheFireFighter is the affection. Kiss me, hold me, spend a little quiet time with me.

I think I've become a little detached lately. Which probably explains why I've been such an asshole.

Man oh man...this libido needs to be put in check. I'm ready to tear someone's clothes off. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

I'm in want to have fun and date land...but some days want to be in love. *weeps* I'm so torn. I need balance...consistency.

I've been wanting to tell friends that I love them, but I can't physically get the words to come out of my mouth. I'm really good at saying them in my head though. I love you guys. Just so you know.

Wednesday at The Living Room Lounge: Wet T-Shirt Contest...$100 prize. I'm game...that's easy money.

Okay so my friends think I'm too smart to do things of that nature. I would have to say they are probably right. But what have I got to lose?

I've been really kissy lately. Kiss me.

Pimpin...

"She doesn't have anger management issues, she has anger issues she don't manage." -Grey about me after I've had a drink.

I tend to get a little belligerent...and sometimes I want to fight people.

THIS WEEK

The photo looks awesome framed. I'm pretty geeked.

NO NO NO NO NO I can't come in at 9PM after I get off at the other job, especially if you expect me to come in the next morning. I AM NOT available to work after 2PM for you. Quit calling me. I'm so very ready to quit that job.

Wow, this dude...I can't believe it. Details said I had a fucked the fuck up attitude and then said called me a broke bitch. Really? Okay so yes I've been an asshole lately, but is that really how you want to put it? I won't lie...it did sting a little bit.

Summer Love: A List

2008-06-20T00:27:00.002-04:00

It's a new season, which means it's time for a new list of wishes. If you put it out there and put out the effort, it comes back to you. I believe it.

love and affection
someone special to enjoy summer activities with
someone special to just enjoy chillin' with
day or two to just be
authentic pair of Dr. Feelgood Dunks in a 6.5 (MENS)
kick ass skateboard (possibly a long board)
lots of naughty wink wink nudge nudge
place to call home
MY driver's license
warm summer nights at Front Page, Urban Element, Coaches, Tip Top Tavern, etc. spent with friends
meeting new people, good people
big, fat check in the mail where the only stipulation is that I have to spend it on ME
inexpensive car the runs well
vacation out of state (road trip)
long bear hugs and cheek kisses
loads of love and affection
long girly dresses
lunch with Les in Broadripple
encouragement
sexy heels
acceptance
met needs
new clients
have ANOTHER print bought
positive thoughts and positive actions
new new job
more hours at current jobs
consistency
thoughtful words, messages, talks, text messages
happiness and success for those around me (my people are doing it big)
lunch dates, dinner dates, breakfast dates
monthly pedicure
relaxing back massage and scratch
new ink
kissing in the rain, kissing on the couch, kissing in the sun, kissing in the car, kissing in the bed, sneaking kisses, soft kisses, cheek kisses, friendly kisses, nose kisses, neck kisses, not so wet kisses
happy surprises
time well spent on me
lots of laughing, lots of smiling
slimmer figure
nice even tan
support for the decisions I make
good advice
good health for me and those around me
an ear to listen
movie nights with friends

I most definitely could've accidently fallen in lust.

2008-06-16T22:09:00.000-04:00

Mmmmm...strawberry festival...so very worth it.

Dude made me blush AND smile super hard. He's young and doesn't exactly fit my mold, but I'll give him a chance.

It's all about taking chances...in life and in love.

What??? No more moist cheek kisses. *pouts* Fine then, I'm gonna continue to be an inappropriate ass grabber.

Sometimes I just need someone else to validate all the craziness that's going on in my head. (Legitimate crazy, not mad woman crazy.)

"I haven't got a clue if you're the one/but I like you/and ooh I like how you make me feel/I wanna do this right/don't wanna waste this night/but I'm drowning/drowning in your love/bring me flowers/and talk for hours/and ooh I like you/and ooh I like how you make me feel/kiss my face/your warm embrace/and ooh I like you/and ooh I like how you make me feel/I'm a little scared to hold you close/cause I just might never ever let you go..."

I went for about 20 hours without eating and didn't really realize it until I got to work. I scarfed down a slice of pizza in about 4 minutes. I know it's not good to go that long without eating and I hate to say I "forget" to eat, but sometimes I just don't feel hungry and don't eat.

Awww, she blew me a kiss. Kids can be quite adorable at times. That made my day.

"..could it be the world's gone colder/maybe I'm losing soul/the more I try it just gets harder/and my pain is getting old/somebody said that nothing lasts forever/just the store so I've been told/but it seems that when it rains it pours/and you know the rain won't last forever/and you know the storm won't always flow/but if the sun don't shine forever/you gotta let it go/somtimes my burdens get so heavy/and it seems to hard to bear/somtimes I feel so empty/and it feels like no one's there/somebody said that nothing lasts forever/just the storm so I've been told/but it seems that when it rains it pours..."

Thin hoodies make great neck scarves.

Who the fuck are these people and why do they think they can rap?

I need to be on MrGreen's level. Three pairs of shoes in one day?

One day.

My cussing has gotten a little out of control these days.

There's something a little romantic/intimate/I don't know about sending texts to someone across a crowded room (or even while you're sitting next to each other). Waiting for the other person to get your text and watching their face as they read it. The laughing, the smiling and noone else has a clue.

And no I'm not talking about you.

Keys? *rolls on floor laughing*

I'm so evil sometimes, but it was funny. [Now that was of course about you.]

I'm sorry, but BoxBoy just isn't my type, he's cool to chill with...but that's about as far as it'll go. CableGuy thinks I shouldn't be single. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's whatever.

Quite interesting how the evening played out.

Surprise wink, wink, nudge, nudge ranks up there with hotel nooky. I could use a surprise right about now.

Thanks for holding open the door dude.

It's HOT out...why does TheMC have me out at this Washington Park joint in the sun? Then again it's not like I had anything else to do today. Plus I needed pick up my camera again.

Strip? A little bit of leg. *wipes brow* Ooo-wee. I might need to find a bathroom. *rolls on floor laughing*

I'm gonna have some sneaker money this week. Woo hoo!!! I'm coming for you babies. How in the world do I decide?

"let's go to the park/I wanna kiss you underneath the stars/maybe we'll go to far/we just don't care/we just don't care/we just don't care/you know I love it when you're love me/but sometimes it's better when it's publicly/I'm not ashamed, I don't care who sees/us hugging and kissing, a love exhibition, oh..."

"we've been together for a while now/we're growing stronger every day now/it feels so good and there's no doubt/I will stay with you as each morning brings sunrise/and the flowers bloom in springtime/on my love you can rely/and I'll stay with you/oh I'll stay with you through the ups and the downs/oh I'll stay with you when no one else is around/and when the dark clouds arrive/I will stay by your side/I know we'll be alright/I will stay with you/though relationships can get old/they have the tendency to grow cold/we have something like a miracle/yeah, I'll stay with you..."

John Legend in the park was quite loverly. I'm kind of glad I was sans date. I most definitely could've accidently fallen in lust.

These photos turned out pretty effin' awesome.

I think I need to use my chest in some way to make money. I'm thinking ad space.

Yesterday a dress...today a skirt that barely covers my ass. What the heck is going on? Oh yeah...laundry...and it's too hot to wear jeans.

I swear as soon as I put on my sunglasses my hearing goes away temporarily.

"I like to make men beg." -on the phone to TheMC upon mentioning the whiney/begging like IM he said he left me about a photo edit. He decided to use that selective hearing thing I like to use at times.

Every time I talk to him on the phone it takes me a few seconds to register his voice. I never have a clue who he is...that's what happens when you keep all your conversations on MySpace, IM and text.

Are you serious? Yes it is an efficient use of time, but did you really pull some nail polish out of your purse and start painting our toenails. Do you lady, do you.

Riding the bus is quite the adventure.

"You need to leave that mall bullshit alone and get to taking pics." -Import/Export on my photog skills (I teared up a little bit upon hearing that.)

Some days I just need a good kick in the pants.

You were extra cute.

2008-06-12T21:57:00.000-04:00

That second Woodchuck probably wasn't one of my brighter ideas. I get so effin' belligerent.

At least I didn't throw up. But I do believe I may have cussed Grey out at one point. Or something like that.

I don't know what it is, but folks have been all over my nuts lately.

It's quite the ego boost. I'm effin' lovin' it.

Why are body builders so darn tan? it's creepy...so brown. I'd like to see a pastyish body builder one day.

"...gotta use wet wipes, baby wipes...I don't eat no shitty ass..." -Grey

I AM quite impressed that dude knew my ethnicity without having to ask. It's very rare that that occurs. But still isn't grounds for me to go home with him.

Okay so it's a little odd/weird/coincidental that I ran into dude who wanted to take me home at the library the next day.

I'm starting to go green. We need to save this planet.

My boobs are too big for target dresses and my butt is too big for target shorts. Why do I even bother?

How come I can't walk out of Target without buying something I don't REALLY need? Or at least can wait to buy later?

I'm not all mother earthy and haven't gone completely green yet, but it still pains me to see people blatantly litter. Yes, I've done it before, but do my best to hold my trash until I get to a trash can. I don't want to be a litterer or waster.

So hot.

Either I'm a REALLY awesome sales person, or I'm just really cute.

Grey still gives better cheek kisses. Yours was a little moist.

"...I never knew a luh-luh-luh, a love like this...gotta be something for me to write this...Queen, I ain't seen you in a minute...wrote this letter and finally decided to send it...signed, sealed, delivered for us to grow together...love has no limit, let's spend it slow forever...I know hear is weathered by what studs did to you..I ain't gon assault them cause I probably did it too...because of you, feelings I hand with care...there are times...when you'll need someone...I will be by your side...there is a light that shines...special for you and me..."

My chest makes quite the advertising space. I should sell the space to earn some extra money.

I know why I prefer him with facial hair. It balances out his eyebrows.

*rolls on floor laughing*

Okay that was a bit mean.

Watching McDishes interact with Drunk Girl was hilarious. I finally know her name. That girl is out there. I think she realizes I'm not a fan of hers.

"You were extra cute."

You know I'm not a fan of the term cute, but you get a pass.

I don't see the difference in how I dress for work and how I dress normally are different (other than I don't wear jeans to work often). How do my work clothes make look more feminine?

Okay so I AM quite attractive. I don't mean that in a conceited way. I'm just realizing that I'm a beauty and that many seem to think so. I kind of knew it before, but I don't think I completely believed it. I'm still getting used to having men hit on me.

So...a lot of my work clothes are starting to get a little big. I guess that means I'm losing weight or something like that. Wonderful and fantastic...yes. I really just don't feel like having to buy new clothes right now though. No more LB for me. Heck even the bras don't fit me. I MUST make a trip up to the "special" store.

The amazing shrinking woman whose boobs never get smaller.

*deep heavy sigh*

I made Boss Lady No. 2 cry. I didn't mean to. I wish there was something I could do for her.

"come if you got real love for me...stay away if you got games and tricks for me...I want a man that means everything he says...and not a boy full of play...pulling a rabbit out of his hat everyday...oh baby I'm scared of you...oh I don't believe in magic...I believe in lover everlasting..."

Being tied down right now to just one person isn't on my list right now. Unless it's one of two or three people. Seems weird to say, but I feel only they by themselves could be enough for me. Otherwise I want to be able to see other people. And really I just want to be able to spend an evening or a day with someone. Hang out, enjoy their company...be affectionate or intimate if it feels right. I'm not sure a relationship is right for me right now. Too much other stuff going on.

Rain, rain go away.

2008-06-08T16:54:00.000-04:00

My nipple hurts.

I quite enjoyed sitting and chatting with TheMC. We're not very different from each other.

I'm mucho tired. I probably should just stay home and rest as opposed to going out and chillin' with the homies.

Watching Nick sway to a slowish song is quite humorous.

He's probably right, I probably don't need to be dating right now. And really sometimes all I really want is someone to cuddle and nap and hold me. I'm not really sure I can deal with having to consider someone else's needs right now. I gotta do me.

Exhausted.

I can't believe this woman just asked me to physically help her put on this bra. I'm traumatized. I didn't have have no desire to see all that on a stranger. I can come check on you after you've gotten it on, but no I don't want to be in the dressing room with you and put it on you. Oy!

My guilty pleasure is bad female pop songs. There.

*does anti-rain dance for Nick*

Dude...seriously, can't you take a hint? I'm READING, why are you STILL trying to holla at me. Leave your number and I won't get back to you because you're not taking the hint. TAKE THE EFFIN' HINT DUDE, TAKE THE HINT.

Yes I bring books to clubs/bars so that I can enjoy the music and read. I don't care if it makes me look anti-social. It's fine by me.

Spring is almost over and things on my list are coming to pass.

See, you write things down and put good energy into them and they come true. They do, they do.

I'll be working on the Summer List soon. I gots big plans.

Stupid $10 mistakes. That'll teach me.

It's nice to see that there are still young men out there that will give up their seat on the bus for a lady.

*sings* I sold a print...I sold a print...I sold a print...hey hey hey hey.

Geezum it's hot.

Really, you're going to yell at that driver when you're the one who's stumbling in the street NOT at the crosswalk and jaywalking? Please.

Kevin did an awesome job on Radio Now last night. Grey even got some air play. Big things are coming for the both of them. I just know it.

Rain, rain go away.

Time for new plugs.

New job is okay. I'll be working from this past Tuesday all the way to NEXT Friday. And even though Sunday is only a staff meeting it still means I have to go to work.

I may be a walking zombie this week. But guess what...it's money in the bank.

"...ninety-three year old YOUNG lady..." If that's young, then what does that make me?

I suppose it's possible.

2008-06-02T16:53:00.000-04:00

Ugh...my nose is being raped by the smell of urine. Dude...seriously.

This bed is either REALLY comfortable or I'm just tired. I'm going to say both.

I'm glad TheBestFriend knows me well enough and that I haven't changed all that much from who I was and who I am now.

I still find it very strange when I get hit on. I looked like a bum in my ripped jeans, a hoodie and my hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and I STILL got hit on about three times in the span of thirty minutes. What's up with that?

It was quite the ego boost.

Be careful what you wish for indeed. I got a new job. And I have a date.

Someone wants to buy a print of mine for REAL this time. And a whole series of photos I haven't even started to work on yet. I'm pretty effin' geeked about that.

Indianapolis is too small. Details used be a camp counselor or something for Les' son AND he knows TheParkRanger. (Then again TheParkRanger is the mayor.)

Date was cool. Details is a nice guy and a gentleman, but I'm not physically attracted to him and really not feeling him. He doesn't fit the crowd I run with either. And he's a little too touchy-feely. I'm quite surprised he put up with me for as long as he did. I won't change who I am just to date you. I am who I am...and sometimes I'm an ass. And out of all my boys that I hugged you only made what seemed like a snide remark about the hug I gave TheMC. Oh and just because I hang out with mostly boys doesn't mean any of them are going to get play. That's a ridiculous thing to ask.

Thought bubbles courtesy of Blind Date would've been hee-larious. Had I the energy I probably could've made him cry.

Yay!!! Import/Export came all the way up from Atlanta to visit. We had a great a time, even if we only got to spend one day together. It was a good time all around. *wink wink nudge nudge* And the attention and affection was greatly appreciated. Not too touchy-feely and heck he was able to hang with me and the boys and fit.

He noticed how fidgety I am and thinks I might have ADD or something. I suppose it's possible.

It's really bizarre when you're out and you meet someone and their significant other only to realize you know their SO from somewhere. I realized later I met him online and we talked on the phone a few times. He either didn't recognize me or was ignoring the fact that we've "met" before.

*rolls on floor laughing*

Sooooo tired. MUST.GET.UP.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have talked to McDishes...usually I feel good after our conversations. Not so much this time. Hmmph. He made me doubt my decision about accepting the position

Why you gotta fuck with my high like that?

It was silly of me to think that we could talk about everything. I guess sometimes I forget you're not TheBestFriend.

Texting me at 130AM because you want to see me = unacceptable behavior. I'm not feeling that AT ALL.

Get off my nuts please. Apparently I don't deal well with people I'm not attracted to texting me all the time. Can I get some space please?

Caking. I *heart* this blog.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much. Or trying to do too much. Making lists of things I need to do or buy or whatever helps...but not all the time. My mind is just everywhere. I need a little pill or something that will help me focus and get ish done.

I was just offered the OTHER position I interviewed for last week Wednesday. Hmmm...what shall I do?

I'm feeling quite exhausted. Maybe it's time for bed.

I haven't got a clue if you're the one...

2008-05-23T01:11:00.000-04:00

We flew kites in the parking lot before the derby on Saturday. It was fun playing like a kid. I love moments like that. Carefree and fun.

JT's so sweet...she made cabbage and sausage w/ turkey sausage just for me.

Eating that sausage made me feel kind of dirty.

*blushes*

It's possible I'm falling all over again. Maybe...I don't know.

*deep heavy sigh*

Awww...she loves me.

*rolls on floor laughing*

Gotta love when you send a text message to the wrong person.

I'm getting really comfortable driving.

"I'm about to get off [the phone]." JT to me as she's getting off the couch...she then realizes that she's not talking to me on the phone that in fact I'm sitting right next to her.

*rolls on floor laughing*

That's when you KNOW it's time to go to bed.

Why are you calling me at 7:50AM? How is it you always come back like that? Just pop up?

I really DID do the damn thing on those photos. It helps when other people tell me so. I like the little ego boosts. They make me realize that I CAN do this. I CAN.

From my a list of mine: 13. Hitting and teasing are my way of showing affection. Hugs and kisses are too.

There's my reason for being that way with you.

I miss making out. What happened to the fine art of making out???

"...in our lives we hunger for those we cannot touch..."

"...I'm a little scared to hold you close...cause I just might never ever let you go...caught up in your smile, I'm happy as a child...but I'm still drowning, drowning in your love...bring me flowers and talk for hours...ooh I like you, and ooh I like how you make me feel...kiss my face, your warm embrace...ooh I like you, and ooh I like how you make me feel..."

When I walked into the place where I was being interviewed today and sat down and absorbed the office and observed the people working there I immediately felt like I didn't belong, that that place was not for me. At one point I contemplated telling the administrative assistant that I wasn't going to waste the gentlemen's time because I didn't think that was where I was supposed to be. But I didn't. I went through with the interview anyway. Who knows. Maybe I could make it work if offered a position there. My being tells me different though. I know that I'm going to have to take a job where I may be slightly unhappy for awhile in order to get where I want to be. It's okay. I'm okay with that. I want to do what I need to do to get where I need to be. And I'm tired of being broke and not having a place to live.

It's been almost a full year since I've slept in my own bed and had a place to call my own. How did this happen?

"Love enables you to put your deepest feeling and fears in the palm of your partner's hand, knowing they will be handled with care." Carl S. Avery

Grey gives good cheek kisses. [side note: Dave/Hellhammer has the best smelling hugs.]

I'm happy he understands the whole positive energy/list/law of attraction/secret thing. It's nice to talk to someone who gets it and doesn't look at you like you have four eyes.

"Homies before hoes dude." Grey to Rocco about spending Rocco's stimulus check after I said we (Rocco and I) were going on a "date". Of course my argument was I am a homie...so that line was NOT going to work. Grey of course gave in and agreed.

Soft legs before rough.

Every time I see the Mobile Network 1 bulletin about Wet Wednesday @ The Tip Top, I see Wet the Tip...and my mind goes straight to the dirty place.

I's tired. Today was full of unexpectedness. Early wake up call, TheNarcissist fishing for relationship status, TheMC stopping at the job and I wasn't even working and then ending up having to work.

Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate.

I'm feeling really needy right now. I need a hug and some attention.

"I haven't got a clue if you're the one...but I like you...and oooh I like how you make me feel...I want to do this right...don't want to waste this night...but drowning...drowning in your love...bring me flowers and talk for hours..."

I'm not sure what to think about these shirts:

As of June 30th I WILL be living in a place of my own and it'll be no further north than 38th St. (and with the cost of gas right now, on the bus line.)

Make a list. Make a vision board. Be specific. Make your wish. It WILL happen. Live your future in the present. Share what you want with others. We're all connected.

I really should be gong to sleep. Bu you know me...fighting it.

...marathon kisses we used to share...

2008-05-18T21:53:00.004-04:00

1. I love going to my friend's shows and supporting them as much as I can in there endeavors.

2. I wish that I could have a day or two or three to chill with a friend(s) and just be, with no worries about ANYTHING.

3. I know I'm going to be okay in the end, fixing this mess is just going to take some time.

4. I appreciate the love that my friends show me and the help they've been giving me.

5. I want to fall in love with that special someone over and over again.

This one's easy. If you want to do it, just use the bolded words in your own list. Add a comment here if you plan to do it, so I can read yours too.

Past Paradise - Eric Roberson

I will fuck you up.

2008-05-18T01:10:00.000-04:00

So...my brother's girlfriend is fifty years old. There's nothing wrong with that...except that I want to be an aunt one day.

Sometimes I can be a little selfish.

Me: Would you like a dressing room so you can try those on?

Older Woman: No thank you. I don't like getting undressed. I can bring it back if it doesn't fit right?

Me: Yes, you can.

OW: You know us old ladies don't like to get undressed unless we're about to have sex.

Me: *tries very hard not to laugh*

BEST thing I heard ALL day.

The sun is starting to make my blonde hairs more visible.

Jebus effin' cupcakes...now my uncle is being all preachy. Oy.

"how does it feel being in these arms...what's it really like to be loved...I've been alone now, how long...have you ever loved the way that I have...and I have often wondered who...who could love you the way I do...now I just want you to know...how I'm touched deep in my soul...just being with you...and I need you more each day...baby, if you're still awake...call me when you get this..."

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip." J. Carroll

*laughs* I would laugh if I tripped.

Sometimes I can be an ass.

Man, I look like such a tomboy today. Chucks, knee-lenth shorts, t-shirt, hoodie.

Yippee!!! Zumiez is open.

I don't know why I was so scared to drive before. It's fun. I love it. The price of gas could drop by a dollar or two though.

Worky, work, work work.

Interview on Monday. Setting up another interview as well. Waaahooo!!!

*walks to bus stop*

Random stranger: *honks horn* Ay!

Me: *ignores stranger*

*phone rings*

Me: Hello?

McDishes: That was me.

Seriously? It's night time and I'm alone. I don't respond to strangers honking at me. Try calling out my name next time instead of yelling ay.

Brutus?

You: I will fuck you up.

Me: *giggles* Okay.

You: *shakes head*

You're the one that left that open like that.

Class of 93's next event + Anger Management = Ha ha, not funny. Don't make me transfer some of my aggression from McDishes to you.

Sometimes he makes me wonder what the deal is with him. Things can be a little confusing at times, but then I remember it's usually women who confuse things that are really quite simple.

I really shouldn't be allowed to talk to new people if I've had a drink and am feeling a little tipsy. I'm nice and don't know how to say no. I didn't really want to give that dude my number. [I think he realized I wasn't really interested when later he tried to talk to me and I didn't have much to say, text messaged other people and kept getting up to socialize, me socialize...oh my.]

Drunk girl is not drunk. Weird. She looks so...normal. It's just not right. Must be invasion of the body snatchers.

I like being able to go out alone and when I arrive all my friends are there and I'm not really alone at all.

Ugh, I hate waking up from a night out with a stuffed nose because of the smokiness of it all.

My nipples itch.

TheReceptionist is such a cutie. Normally not my type either. Too bad it looks like he has a girl.

I might need to make another trip up to the shop so I can price my tattoos.

*smiles*

One key to my heart...chewy Spree.

I *heart* roller derby.

Even though I'm broke, homeless and have douche bags hounding me every effin' day, I'm happy. More happy now than I've been in a long time. I like it.

...do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro...

2008-05-16T09:22:00.004-04:00

If you've ever met me or have seen pictures of me then you know that I have big cha chas/taters/fun bags/boobs whatever your term for breasties may be. They're a pain some days, but I love them. They're my girls.

Anywho, I've been trained to measure women for over the shoulder boulder holders and a lot of ladies come into our store wearing the wrong bra and tell us that the little misses at Victoria's not so Secret told them they were some size that is grossly incorrect in order to get them to buy their overpriced braziers.

Where was I going with this? Oh yes...well my coworkers and I like to stop through the shop to see how they do their measuring and see what ridiculous size they will measure us at, because you see, most of my coworkers are larger than DDD's. And VnsS only goes up to a DD. Our first go around my Second in Command was measured in at a mere 40 D...way off, she's a 42 H. The little miss seemed to have trouble measuring her as if she was calculating in her head how to for the lie she was about to tell my SiC. We guffawed at her mismeasurement and let her know how wrong she was. She was not happy. At this point I couldn't allow myself to be measured. Little miss didn't even offer any other place for SiC to find a bra that would fit her.

You see, if we have a women who comes in and we can't help, we send her to the few stores we believe can help. We do our best to make sure that those women find a bra that's going to fit them. Why? Because your boobies shouldn't be hanging down to your belly button and clothes fit much better when the girls are up where they should be and most women feel like new women when they've got a good bra on.

A week or so later I decided I wanted to find out what the VnsS minions were going to tell me when I asked to be measured. I got a new girl, but she was being supervised by someone and measured me at a mere 38 D. No bueno. I'm really between a 36 J and K. I got some huge ta tas. BUT...newbie was on it and suggested I try my store (she didn't know I worked there) and a couple of department stores that specialize in the large sizes. She got mucho points for that and my hatred for VnsS was lessened.

I still think they've got some work to do though. I understand they want to make a sale, but come on...it's more than just making the sale. It's about getting these women in to the correct bra that will work for them.

Now all you ladies out there go get measured...because I bet some of you are wearing the wrong size bra...just don't go to VnsS.

...I'm the fixer, not the cuddler...

2008-05-13T01:09:00.000-04:00

THE WEEKEND UPDATE

Don't hate on my cheese and lettuce sammich.

I might suck at Mario Kart, but it was still fun to hang out and play.

I'm such a Scorpio.

I know where I'm going to live next. Those apartments are amazing. I never would've thought.

"Just let him buy you a drink."

*lets weird drunk guy buy me a soda*

We didn't have enough of the video game playing at Brookinz spot so we had to play video games at Front Page too.

Wow...someone wants to buy one of my images. That's so effin' AWESOME!!!

It's a small effin' world. GoodMan met a coworker of mine at a wedding and they seemed to have hit it off. I'm glad he was honest with her about why we didn't mesh. Now I don't have to play Molly Matchmaker (one thing I prefer not to do). I'm glad they seem to like each other. I am a little jealous though. I tried to like him. Really though he didn't have to be a douche and not speak when I came into the store.

Please sweet jebus someone teach the ladies at Victoria's Secret how to PROPERLY measure a woman's bra size, 38DDD I am NOT. I'm much more endowed than that. I will give little miss credit though, she AT LEAST suggested my store (in which I'm too busty for as well), Nordie's and Macy's. Unlike CupcakeJ's experience where the woman grossly mis-sized her and then didn't even offer any other suggestions.

Yes me and my coworkers and douches and go to VS to laugh and giggle when the size us busty girls the wrong size just to sell their wares.

Mmmmm...feel the warmth of the bulbs. I think I can feel my skin getting a little more tan.

*giggles*

It feels good when someone tells you they love you and you know they mean it.

*feels all warm and fuzzy inside*

I'm glad they were able to work it out and that she's happy and possibly in love.

THE BEGINNING of the week...

I like driving. It's actually pretty fun.

The couch is actually pretty darn comfortable. I only wake up once or twice during the night to switch positions.

Why I always decide to get the bright fuck me red nail polish on my toes I'll never know. Especially since I don't really like people looking at my feet. I think it's that girly bit in me.

*basks in sun*

Yay! I was able to skip 12g and go straight to 10g. I probably could've done 8g, but I didn't want to push it.

Condescending douche bag bullying jerks...go kick rocks while playing in traffic.

I know.

"...don't get all sensitive...I'm the fixer, not the cuddler..."

*tries to cry away from the phone*

I do my best to be as supportive as I can.

You always make me see that people DO care about me.

*sobs...sniffles*

The 4th of July give or take a day since it's a holiday WILL be the day I become a licensed driver.

Apparently there will even be a firework in my honor.

You know...it's funny...you write things down that you WANT to happen...and the next thing you know...they DO.

You can always tell when I've been listening to music by how often lyrics end up in my lists...I'm not sure where my iPod is at the moment. I know it got packed in a bag somewhere. I hope I find it soon.

Living out of a small duffle bag is quite frustrating. I WILL have a place of my own soon.

You ain't got to lie to kick it.

2008-05-10T01:08:00.000-04:00

The photo shoot with McDishes turned out pretty well. I got some awesome shots and had fun. There's still some things I need to work on, but it'll all come together in time.

CJ was randomly in town this weekend it seems.

I DO have some attractive male friends.

Bazbeaux's has a little tire sandbox outside for to play in while you wait for a table. Yes, I played in it.

"Is that a fat joke?" I think we make people a little uncomfortable when we say that and they don't realize it's just a joke.

Haircut time. One of these days I'm going to get this down to one haircut a year. I don't see how people pay $30+ to get their haircut. WASTE.

I gave up sexy time to hang out and support my friends. It was the direction I felt my heart was pushing me. [Good thing I did, sexy time was not that good when it finally did commence.]

My name is NOT Michelle!!!

How come other people know I have personal space issues?

Also, why do people have to mess with me and sneak up behind me and/or grab my ass. That's not funny. That'll get you jabbed with and elbow or stabbed with a rusty fork.

Why am I so tired???

I'm such a procrastinator. Packing, packing, packing.

Of course the one time I decide on not going...you're going.

I want to spend as much of my free time as I can with my friends. Spending time with friends makes me happy and it takes away from the loneliness. It's pretty much always a good time.

I drove all over the city today. It was fun. I even braved I65. I'm sure I may have pissed a few people off. Parallel parking needs some work, but I think I still did a pretty good job. I'm starting to become more comfortable with driving. I'll have my license at the end of the summer.

Watch out world, here I come.

Awww...someone loves me. *throws up in mouth a little bit* Kidding. Geez. I love you too.

Yeah...that was a waste. So very glad I went out Sunday night. Can I pretend like it never happened?

*poof* It never happened.

Now I know why he wouldn't send me any pictures. You ain't got to lie to kick it.

Me need sleep.

I swear McDishes always knows the right thing to say.

Melissa no longer resides on the south side of Indianapolis. Woo hoo!

Um...did you really just ask me to send your girl a message to let her know that we're not messing around with each other? Do you really think that's going to help? That doesn't bother you that she signed into your account to spy on you? Are you sure that's someone you want to be involved with? I'm not sure I can come out to visit you now. I'm trying to come home in one piece and enjoy my time with you. I don't do jealous/insecure girlfriends.

"Is that a real goose or a fake goose?"

I love how things fall together when you act spontaneously. Going for cupcakes turns into selling your microwave and runs into going out for sushi which instead leads to chicken wings and good laughs with friends.

I always find myself hanging out with a bunch of dudes. And usually the only girl hanging out with a bunch of dudes.

Dude, I'm sorry for pushing you into that table like that. Have you noticed I'm more "mean" to you now than I was before? I think part of it is due to tension/frustration. And sometimes you just ask for it.

I cried last night (at Vito's) because I was just THAT happy and it felt good. I was a little embarrassed, but it was okay.

I felt very loved.

*deep heavy sigh* They've sicked the lawyers on me. Fun stuff.

Come on dad...why do you do that? That's not cool.

You're right he's probably trying to protect me and save me from worry and I shouldn't take it personally...but it's hard. We're already not that close...and him living across the ocean doesn't make it any easier.

nothing's right, I'm torn

2008-05-03T09:09:00.002-04:00

Decisions...decisions...the possibility of some new nookie or going to see TheMC and a lot of my friends perform. I already turned down the nookie last night and I've seen the ones I love perform before and know I'll get the chance to see them again. The thing is though I think I'd rather spend time with my friends than rolling around in bed with someone...especially since it's someone new and it's not like we're trying to date or anything. It's just sex. It's been 4+ months since I've gotten any...but still...it's just sex. The opportunity will eventually arise again for me to get some.

Some how I think there is something wrong with me.

*shakes head in disbelief*

*deep heavy sigh*

Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

shrugs shoulders

2008-05-03T01:07:00.000-04:00

Having that sour cream licked off my face by him was kind of sexy. I think that might've been too much. Sometimes I think I let the flirting go to far.

I was very affectionate tonight.

Oooo weee...I got a kiss on the cheek. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

*laughs*

"I might drive a Tracker, but that doesn't mean I smoke the meat blunt." Funniest shit I heard all night.

Cunt.

Sometimes I want to cry about my situation...and I do for about a few minutes...but I don't feel like I should because I need to stay positive so that things will be okay.

How does GoodMan expect to get anywhere with a woman if he has that defeated attitude. Thanks for the lunch dude, I really appreciate it. I'd like to hang out with you sometime and get to know you...but that attitude has got to go.

"...I could never be what you want me to be...I'm just gonna leave you disappointed...could it be that this time...we're just longing, longing for the first time...it's been such a long ride...now we're slipping back again...no matter how we try to pretend..."

Today I painted a beauty shop with a man named Mississippi who's momma told him you don't shake a woman's hand you give her a hug. I think it was just an excuse to get close to my body.

Effin' creepy.

"I'm not trying to be in your business..." Then stop asking me questions and go back into the other room and get back to work.

Commenting on my chest like that whilst holding your son is quite inappropriate. Also...so why'd you tell him?

There are days when I find it so very hard to be the friend I want to be to people because I can't do things for them like I want to due to my financial status. I know friendship isn't about that, but sometimes I just want to buy a friend an ice cream cone or take them out to lunch.

"I actually love the hell out of your personality."

"Pssssst" does not equal "Psssshh".

"My balls itch." Thanks for the update. 'Preciate it.

"Soulmates aren't people that make you tingle when you meet them the first time. They are the people that make you tingle when you meet them the 100th time." And not necessarily romantically inclined.

I'm comfortable with who I am, I know what I want and I'm enjoying getting to know me.

Yay!!! TheStudent is finally back from France. I wish he wasn't moving to DC, but that's okay. It's just another excuse for me to head out that way to see him.

I didn't get the job I wanted. It's okay though. I'm not really THAT disappointed.

*shrugs shoulders* Oh well.

Aw...I'm gonna be his first. I think I've been a few people's first.

*laughs*

I've been pretty damn popular this week. I don't always like being on the phone, but just the fact that people have been calling/texting me makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Okay so I still have a crush on him. (See sometimes I just say him.)

A 1AM text message + loud thunderstorms + honking geese = one tired me.

I'm starting to get used to folks calling me babe. I used to dislike it, but now it seems like it sort of a term of endearment and have started to use it myself.

"...I'm starting to believe...something's wrong with me...'cause everyday, every night, every hour, every minute...I'm thinkin' 'bout it..."

I've been fed very well this week. All sorts of food hook ups. *pats belly*

I REALLy appreciate the kindness of my coworkers. They're good peoples.

Crap I lost an o ring. I think it is about that time to get the ears stretched again though...so I guess I'll be okay.

There's something about having a man you're attracted to randomly tell you he wants to eat...hmmm...maybe I should keep that to myself.

I just turned down sex...AGAIN! What's wrong with me?

Today looks like a beautiful and promising day.

I amaze me sometimes. Discovering who I am and who I want to be and watching me grow. It's something else.

"...like a lunar eclipse..."

2008-04-26T01:17:00.000-04:00

Hmmm...well with the current dilemma stretching will have to be postponed. And there will be no squirreling away of monies for new ink. This is the least of my worries and yet on my mind. We all have to cope some how.

I really just want to cry. I know I shouldn't though.

WTF? How'd I get think funky ass sunburn. Ridiculous.

GoodMan popped into the store to say hello and tell me how beautiful I looked. He's sweet. Ten minutes later I realized why I didn't really care for him. [Just realized he must've lost that weight it looked like he gained. Maybe he stopped in to show off how good he looks now...very nice.]

For the most part I'm doing pretty well with NOT calling/texting Mr. Jones. I can't bring myself to delete his phone number or all of the text messages though. Someone else would have to take my phone and do it for me. It didn't help that I came across this message from November, "If it were up to me I'll see you every day." How effin' sweet is that. Oddly enough I haven't actually SEEN him since October and he's been in town many a time. [Okay my dumb ass couldn't resist and texted him. No response.]

I have a deep desire to go to a strip club.

"If you are willing to invest yourself wholeheartedly in your dreams, then the necessary resources, including the money, will follow." Jack Canfield

*nods*

I found a job I REALLY do want and think I'd really be happy at. Not what I was expecting either.

Good job vibes, come this way.

"...grand my last request and let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders...lay down beside me...sure I can accept that we're going nowhere...but on last time let's go there...lay down beside me..."

That's a cute dress...and that's a cute dress...and that one is too. *sigh* Oh well maybe next week.

I have the bestest friends.

I AM pretty darn smart. I just have my moments. I take the long way around a lot of the times.

Sometimes I think he tries to drop hints by saying things that are not me to send give me a hint. Or maybe I'm over thinking things like I do sometimes.

"You have NO concept of personal space." *laughs* I really didn't mean for it to come out that way, but dude you kept hitting me. If we were intimately involved or having a conversation, that might not have bothered me. But we aren't and we weren't, so back up.

Heck I'm all nice and soft...I'd want to touch all over me.

"You two are complete opposites...like a lunar eclipse..." *makes hand motions of an eclipse*

They do say opposites attract. *grins* Kidding...hush your mouth.

I'm glad that I've been able to form friendships where my friends understand my quirks and even find humor in some of them.

I'm not mean. Really...I'm not.

[obligatory McDishes comment]

Wheeler Mission Dude: Are you single?

Me: *lies* No.

Wheeler Mission Dude: You man lets you out like this?

Me: Uh...yeah. *thinking...uh no one is the boss of me taken or not can you please get out of my ear*

I couldn't live without music and hugs.

*yawns*

"I'm looking for love. Real LOVE. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." -Carrie Bradshaw Sex in the City

Now dude got me checking out sneakers all over the place. I gotta have these:

"...I'm a sneakerhead..."

2008-04-24T19:15:00.005-04:00

So I was listening to 12 Steps by my guy alpha. (be sure to check him out) and looking at this photo:

And this idea for a project I've sort of been working on hit me. I mentioned it to a friend and he made a suggestion that made the whole idea break off into it's own photo series. And then the ideas kept flowing and now I'm completely excited to get started on this project. I think it's going to be...for lack of a better word..AWESOME!

So yeah...I'm so excited I just had to share that.

"...the universe conspires..."

2008-04-22T20:56:00.001-04:00

I'm not a very good blogger...at least not these days. But if you want to catch up with me you can always check out my lists.

Where do I even begin? There really hasn't been a lot going on as all I really do is go to work, come home, go to the library and then come home. It's really exciting.

Let's see...I'm STILL in search of a full time job. I've had a couple of interviews, but no call backs. It's frustrating, but it's beginning to make me think that the universe is conspiring to push in the direction of pursuing this photography and art thing with more heart. But my brain says, but what about the bills?

TheFireFighter, oh TheFireFighter...what do I say. We "fought" for a couple of months about me coming clean and being honest about something he wasn't even supposed to know about. It seemed like things were progressing in a positive manner, but then I realized he was just stringing me along and I decided that I wanted no part in allowing him to make me feel hurt.

I sort of cut him out and then silly ol' me go sucked back in. And we're sort of talking again, if that's what you want to call it. McDishes tells me it's hard to let go because of the convenience and familiarity of what we don't have. And that's probably true. I have this odd hope that we'll be able to work it out, even though I know he's no good for me.

My crush on TheMC has lessened. I still do some subtle flirting when I can and I so enjoy the warm hugs. Ooo...wee...that body...who wouldn't want that body pressed against there's.

My current stress is trying to find a place to rest my head. I have very little to work with, but I have faith that I'm going to be okay. I'll find a job and then the rest will come. It'll all fall into place.

Those are the big things I guess. I've been quite happy through most of it. It seemed unusual to be so happy, but happy I was and happy I am. I have great supportive friends. My situation might not be the best, but it could be worse.

I want to try to keep up here more, but who knows. It's hard sometimes with so much going and nothing really to write about. I think that's why I'd gone to listing.

I'm gonna be okay.

2008-04-21T01:16:00.000-04:00

I've begun to notice that I have a new habit. I like to tuck my hands inside the top of my bra...I almost look like my hands are in my pits a la Molly Shannon in Superstar...but not quite. I'm not really groping myself, just comfortably resting my hands inside because I don't know where else to put them. It keeps my hands toasty and warm and the skin is nice and soft and squishy. I wonder if anyone else does this or am I just a weirdo.

Holy...what the??? Earthquake for your morning wake up anyone?

Nick has volunteered to be my "man agent".

*rolls on floor laughing*

I really could probably use one right about now. I can't seem to pick them out myself.

I just turned down good sex. But for a good reason. I'm trying play nice with Karma these days.

I also just turned down dinner with a couple of attractive strangers. I swear there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just trying to do my own thing.

It was so lovely to wear a dress today. The only thing that was missing was a pair of flip flops, but my Chucks did just fine. I gots my own style.

Dude if you're going to put me on hold for an extended period of time I need you to a.) have some decent music and b.) check on me every couple of minutes so I know you know I'm still on the line. thankyouverymuch

Seriously lady, are you deaf? If you're not going to wear both earbuds in your ear can you at least turn them down? I like my bus rides with some bit of peace and quiet.

Having to cover an extra shift tonight was totally worth it when the southern boys from came in with their tight pants and lovely asses.

Boss Lady No. 1: Hi, how can I help you?

Southern Boy: I'm lookin' for an outfit for my wife?

BLN1: Okay, about what size is she?

SB: *looks me up and down* Eh, about her size. *pointing to me*

Note to all men: If you've been with your significant other for over a year I'm gonna need you to have a clue about what size she is. When she goes to the bathroom after some nookie, take a peek at the size of her clothing and make a note of it. Sales women don't usually appreciate being checked out and compared like that.

SB might've gotten a pass because he was an out of town cutie, but I really hope your wife was my size.

The clear skies and the almost full moon looked quite lovely tonight.

Another one of my favorite blogs. I don't know if I'll ever get around to making anything on it...but damn it I'll try. I think my thighs are telling me they need some cupcakes.

"...let's pretend for one night, I'm the man in your life...and we do the things that lovers do...all the loving you like, I'll give it to you just right...there's nothing less than special when it comes to you..."

What a lovely bomb to be dropped right as I'm heading out the door. Approximately two weeks to find a place to lay my head with all of $20 to my name.

*deep heavy sigh*

It's cool though. I'm gonna be okay. I'll figure something out.

*thinks positively*

Chewy Lemonheads & FRIENDS is what's real in the streets.

So to clean up Indy they need to ween the crackheads off of crack with Chewy Lemonheads & FRIENDS have them help fix up a lot of the beautiful housing we have here in town and then give'em a one way ticket to somewhere on the Megabus. Right Les? Okay so the plan needs some tweeking. We're working on it.

Oh my eyes!!! T-shirts and fishnets...I didn't want to see ALL that.

alpha. did his thing. Congrats dude.

J. Moore's hugs were just what I needed.

McDishes looks...well...young and...well it'll take some getting used to.

*laughs*

Thanks dude.

Thanks Les for a great date.

So I let him suck me back in. I mostly deleted him and was fine with not contacting him and losing myself in the nonsense and then...he texts me. And there he is...back in the door. Telling me if he had a place down here I could stay with him. Working things out basically. Blah blah blah. And I fell for it. It made me feel good. And now stupid for thinking it would work and that it could possibly be an option. Why?

It's not supposed to be THAT hard.

2008-04-17T01:16:00.000-04:00

Why must the guys I would really prefer to date have to live in different states? The text/IM flirting is great, but baby I need some face time.

I have a "date" with a girl this weekend. *giggles* Thanks Les.

Effin' internet connection. Connect damn it. CONNECT!!! I suppose if I bought an aircard or something I wouldn't have this problem. Yeah...maybe next time.

Woo hoo...I just won tickets to Jazz Fest. I hope it's tickets for two. I should probably find that out.

See that's the power of positive thinking at work. Now if I can win tickets to John Mayer and the Roller Derby this weekend I'll be set. A job or a big fat check would be nice too.

Awww...PoetJoe was trying to make an effort to meet up with me. Even though I want it and it could've happened, I really wasn't feelin' it today. Figures.

I just ate an ENTIRE package of cookies. No bueno. Well they were indeed bueno, but devouring the whole package in one day was no bueno.

Why do you have to live ALL the way in Brooklyn? I need you here.

I really need to learn to read more throughly before I hit the send button.

One day these stupid geese are going to get a chop in the neck. No one told you to build your nests right next to the sidewalk that I have to walk on. Okay, so it is kind of funny that one of them took flight and was chasing after me.

Dear Self: Stop, just stop. It's not going to work out between the two of you. Stop hurting yourself by letting him get to you. It's a pointless waste of time and you're better than that. He doesn't seem to care about you either way, will continue to hold that grudge regardless of what he says and will continue to string you along as long as you let him. Please just stop, he's not worth it. It's not supposed to be THAT hard. I don't like to see you like this. Love, Me.

I don't feel like such a freak for not liking BBQ sauce on ribs anymore now that I know I'm not the only one. Then again I guess it doesn't matter since I don't eat pork anymore anyway.

I've never thought of this before, but now I'm curious.

I could REALLY use a head rub right about now.

And a hug.

Yay, spring is FINALLY here. Time to break out the dresses and flip flops. Now if only I could get up to my storage unit to retrieve such things.

I am NOT a morning person, being up at 6AM is just not right.

MUST.BUY.NEW.EARBUDS.

So that one job I applied for and interviewed with was looking for people still/again and I didn't get a call back.

See that's just the universe SHOUTING at me, but I'm still being hard headed because I'm a little skeered about how I'll still be able to survive financially and what not. But I'm smart enough to know that I shouldn't worry about that because it will all work out in the end. If that's the case, then WTF is my problem?

I really don't even know what to say about this. But it doesn't seem right at all, creating life, just to turn around and destroy it all in the name of art???

I AM enough.

2008-04-11T01:14:00.000-04:00

“Stroke a man’s dick you have him for the night, stroke his ego and you have him for life.” Really? I might have to try that. I never said which part though. [insert naughty smiley face here]

My lobes itch. They don't hurt...just itch. The next 4 to 6 weeks will not pass fast enough.

I *heart* j dilla.

"...let go and let me live inside you...what your mouth don't say, baby your thighs do...I want us to arrive together...I love it when the weather is...wet and sticky, some depict me...as being conscious, yeah I use my head...it was you that fed my appetite for seduction...bitin' and cussin', makin' love and uh...touching where no one has ever touched before...the heat got you open like an oven door..."

My "heart" seems to beat for hip hop heads and sneakerphiles. I also seem to fancy b-boys and skater bois. Men with black plastic squarish frame glasses are pretty hot too. I like them nerdy artistic types. Where are they all hiding out at? The ones I don't already know that is.

I really need to stop having weird dreams about kissing/dating my male friends. It's really starting to freak me out.

"It's not nice to be rude," says the strange man because I don't want to walk down the street with him. Screw you then, I'll be rude.

Possible temp job with a design/art firm. [The position went to someone else. :( It's cool though, that just means it wasn't for me and something better is about to come along.]

*JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JJOB JOB JOB JOB*

I AM enough.

Rain rain go away, come back at night when I'm ready for sleep.

I think I'm done with Mr. Jones. I have to be. He's no good for me. Why is it so hard to let got though?

I wish these darn o rings would stay on. Or maybe I just need to stop playing with my ears.

Babe, boo, baby...pick one and stick with it. Okay babe.

McDishes aka McMeany: Funny how doors just swing open when you look for them.

Me: Yeah and if you're not careful they hit you in the face.

(on the possibility I'd be temping at that design firm)

Sometimes I feel my inability to find steady full time employment is a sign for me to get my ish together and work on/with my creative abilities because that's where I'm supposed to be.

I think I may have said this before, I'm over my crush on TheMC. He's a nice guy, but yeah...I think it's pretty pointless.

I know I say this a lot but I really AM thankful for my friends. They're like family to me and I often feel like I'm closer to them than my real family.

I'm stronger than I think I am.

Ewww...is the skin on my lobes supposed to be peeling like this?

It's probably a good thing that I waited so long to check out Paradise Cafe & Bakery. If I'd checked it out sooner I'd probably be SUPER broke. That'll have to be a place for special occasions.

Why am I so damn sleepy.

New favorite blog to read: Very Smart Brothas

So much to do, so little focus. Must separate myself from the computer.

And yes, I will fight you.

2008-04-07T01:13:00.000-04:00

"...a man who adores you, but fucks you like he's paying for it..."

That sounds so effin' hot right about now. I don't know if it's because it's spring or because it's just been that long.

*JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB*

I REALLY need to get a new pair of earbuds for my iPod. I'm not sure how much longer I can live without it.

I've been so effin' stoked lately.

There's a hole in the inner thigh of my favorite jeans. Thick cupcake thighs. I *heart* these jeans I'll wear them until they're completely falling apart or just don't fit anymore.

I am NOT mean and/or evil. That's just your silly ol' perception of me.

*gives the evil eye*

And yes, I will fight you.

Apparently someone has been keeping tabs on me via my blog.

*waves hello* *giggles*

I miss the tomfoolery and antics that occurred when TheBestFriend and I used to hang out.

Why my Grey always hump my leg. Well...at least some part of me is getting some action.

It was good to be at the Front Page with familiar faces even if it was a fairly small crowd. It's been a long time.

Yay!!! Spring is here!!! Dresses and tanks and shorts, oh my!

*jumps for joy*

The last bit of red added to the ever increasing green and fading black has created a lovely brown. Hopefully it lasts until I can get some professional help. I wonder how I'd look as a blonde?

Tinted lenses hiding curious eyes. I *heart* my prescription sunglasses.

The stretching has begun.

Joe is like the greatest piercer ever. He's adorable with his disheveled hair, so very friendly with such a calming presence. I appreciate that he explains EVERYTHING and what's going on while he's doing it.

And thankfully it appears that my left ear is only really torn in the front so I'm able to stretch both ears at the same size.

Brandon, the receptionist?, is a cutie. I don't know what it is about him, but I just wanna make out with him in the back room.

The spring seems to make people friendly. Two strangers joined me for lunch when there was ample seating elsewhere. We didn't really chat with each, but their presence was welcomed and enjoyable.

So I ran into TheNarcissist on the way home...he popped into my head after seeing a few boys on bikes speeding off. As the boys sped off who happens to be just behind them walking back to his office? Him...and wouldn't you know it...he said he had just been thinking about me too.

It never would've worked out between us. Too different...but too alike at the same time. It wouldn't have been fun. I wouldn't have gotten what I wanted. I think things are perfect the way they are, we talk or run into each other every few months.

I can't stop smiling. I'm so effin' happy these days. I LOVE it. Even though I've been given some tough and stressful news I'm okay. I know that everything is going to work out in the end.

Happy is good...REAL good.

Tag, You're It

2008-04-03T21:41:00.001-04:00

So Gale tagged me and I haven't blogged in a while so I figured why not. So here I go...

1. Link to the person that tagged you and leave a comment on their Blog.
2. Post the rules on your Blog.
3. Share 7 random facts about yourself on your Blog
4. Tag 7 random people, linking to their Blog.
5. Let each person know by leaving a comment on their Blog.

Seven random facts about me...

1. I just got my driving permit for the first time less than six months ago.

2. I'm taller than probably more than half of my coworkers, but I have the smallest feet. (I'm made fun of all the time because of it.)

3. I'm a size 14, but I'm known as the "skinny bitch" at work. (I work in a plus size women's clothing store.)

4. I have no problem going to restaurants, movies, flying, riding the train or bus by myself, but I don't like calling up pizza places to call in orders.

5. I don't like people touching me with their feet. But I will massage certain people's feet.

6. I've lived in all of the US time zones.

7. I like to let my ice cream melt a little bit so that it's a little soupy.

I'm not tagging anyone because I don't feel like it. But you can do it if you want. If you do, comment me so I can read your list.

[insert sarcastic remark here]

baby, baby, baby

Haaaaave you met my friend Keiko?

let's talk about sex baby...

this years best

winter wishlist

almost there

four times eight

Birthday Wishlist 2011

fall wishlist

i be on something sometimes and other randomness

wishes for summer

epic adventures

the wheels on the bus go round and round

probably the wrong choice of words

it's been a long time...I shouldn't have left you...

...i am yours...i am yours...

cousin it

wishes for spring

i just want to ride bikes with you

i'm a big kid at heart

spaceships don't come equipped with rear-view mirrors

flafel

I want some fried chicken.

Green

Meet Stella

Chicago, hold me in your arms

Who's that?

Lose 10lbs in 10 days!!!

A GameStop Holiday Wishlist

*thpppppt*

Another Year Has Passed

You Want One

You Can Call Me Al

An Etsy Birthday/Lottery Wishlist

Fall List and a Birthday Wish List

Listy Listing

Birthday Wishlist

SneakerBoy

This is a public service announcement, this is only a test...

Week One

Fatty Fat Fat...

5 Things I Believe In

The Past 15 Years

I'm BACK!!!

Stuff I Like

I'm a bum...

Kind of Reflecting on 2008

Sorry Friends...

...grant my last request...

Coming soon...

...how do we move from A to B...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Are you registered to vote?

Fall Fun List

A Mini Bucket List

Where is everyone?

A Birthday Wish List

*tries not to panic*

You make a dude wanna fall in love.

Excuse me, what?

Gettin' Some

Finally...

Fancy Hamster

I PASSED THE DRIVING TEST!!!

"...want to be loved..."

...'cause I would give anything...

Can I Rob Him?

Kiss me.

Summer Love: A List

I most definitely could've accidently fallen in lust.

You were extra cute.

Rain, rain go away.

I suppose it's possible.

I haven't got a clue if you're the one...

...marathon kisses we used to share...

I will fuck you up.

...do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro...

...I'm the fixer, not the cuddler...

You ain't got to lie to kick it.

thpppppt

tries not to panic

shrugs shoulders