Monday, July 4, 2005

I'm Ready

I'm ready, I'm ready to be in a relationship with a great man. I'm ready to settle down and have a family. I'm ready to NOT be alone anymore.

I thought by 22 I'd be married with a child on the way or at least thinking about having my first. But here I sit at 25 with no serious relationships under my belt and no prospects in sight. Will I ever find a great man to call my own. Will I ever get my chance to have children.

I know that I don't need a man to complete me, but I'd like to have one to share my life with. I'm tired of being alone. Coming home alone. Watching TV alone. Going out to eat alone. Waking up alone. I've had enough of alone.

I know some of you will say you're still young, you're only 25, you just graduated from college, live your life while you can still can. And all I can say is that I have lived my life. I've done the going out with friends and minor traveling and all the other good stuff that I've wanted to do (with a few exceptions). I don't want to be 30 and having my first kid.

What brought this thought along you ask? Holding my coworkers 2 year old son. Up until then I was fine with where my life was going. I knew that I wanted to start dating and meeting people, but then bam...I realized I wanted to settle down and have kid(s) and really START my life.

It seems to be weighing a lot on my mind and I don't even know what I can do about it. Is there anything I can do about it? I told myself once before that if I had to I'd have children on my own, but really that's not the way I want to go.

Please Lord, send me a wonderful man who wants the same things I do, send me an obvious sign that he's the one so that I won't turn him away. Let me know if I've already met him and point me in the right direction.

Sorry if this is such a downer post but I've spent the last two days all by my lonesome and I seem to be caught in the prison of my own mind...not a good place for me

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