finish line

...not crossed.

Today was supposed to be the last day of Couch to 5K training for me. But I didn't run this morning. I wanted to, but on Thursday I wore some shoes I hadn't worn in a while and they gave me blisters on the back of my heels. :(  Them suckers hurt even when I didn't have shoes on so I didn't think it was a good idea to go running seeing as I also had to work today as well.

I felt bad this morning as I was walking to the bus stop to head to work. This is the first Sunday that I haven't run in 8 weeks. The blisters on my heels still hurt, so I'm going to wait until Wednesday to run my last run. I'll continue to run in the morning up until the Color Me Rad race I signed up for and then I'll continue to run after that as well. I still want to improve my speed. I'd like to start bike riding too, I just need a bike. I think I need to start a wish list page.

I didn't even bother to weigh myself today. I have noticed my fat back lines are starting to go away though. Now if I could get this double chin to disappear and I'd be good to go. It's the damn bread and sweets. I think after I finish this last loaf of bread I'm cutting back on the bread big time. I'm gonna have to cut back on the baked good too. Mmmmm...baked goods. 

Anywho, all I can think to myself is why did I wear those stupid shoes. Oh well. It is what it is, lesson learned.

still no change

Week 6, day 3...done! Today had me running for 22 minutes straight. I went a tad bit longer than that though. Last Sunday I ran a whole mile and then some. *does the butterfly through this blog post* It's kind of a big deal. According to Nike+ I run a mile in about 17 minutes. This needs improvement. Slowly but surely.

Since the days have started getting shorter it's still dark when I head out to run. On my days off I try to push getting up an extra 10 to 15 minutes. I don't like it too dark when I head out even though I know it's gonna get light out. I think it's because I feel like bad things could be lurking.

Weighed in this morning and still no change. I'm a tad bit frustrated. I thought I'd see some change by now since I'm already 6 weeks in. I know muscle weighs more than fat, but I haven't even noticed a change in the way my clothes fit. What's going on?

I've been eating vegetarian (one of my August goals) since Monday/Tuesday. Lots of fruit juice/smoothies. I enjoyed some fake chicken too. I think I could go vegetarian for the most part as long as I had fake chicken. There are just some things that are hard to give up. Like I really want to make some chicken wings and pot roast. Ha! I think I still need to reevaluate what I've been eating to see why there hasn't been any change.

Maybe this week I'll try to add weights or something when I work out or even add and extra day of running and see if that produces any change. *throws hands up* Ugh, I don't know. I don't want to have a bad attitude about this so I'm going to focus on the fact that I can now run a mile and I can run for 22+ minutes straight, something I couldn't do before this. And how amazing I feel when I'm done running, like I can conquer the world.

no change

I just finished week 4 of couch to 5k this morning. I can run/jog for 5 minutes straight. Amazeballs! I don't know if I've ever been able to do that. Now I know I can. It's a small accomplishment, but it's still kind of a big deal...for me at least.

It was hard to wake up this morning since I stayed up later than I intended to last night. I hit snooze twice and then told myself to get up, get up, get up. Once I start getting dressed and the cool air hits me outside I feel great. I love that I'm enjoying this and it doesn't seem like chore.

Weighed in this morning and no change. I'm okay with that. No happy, but okay. I didn't take any measurements though, I may have lost an inch or two. I could be gaining some muscle. I'm not gonna sit around a sulk because I didn't lose any poundage. There's still a lot more I could be doing. Just running isn't going to make the pounds just drop off. I didn't gain this weight overnight.

I need to work on what I'm eating. This is going to be a big challenge for me. I like to eat and I like to eat what I want. I rarely deny myself a sweet treat if there is one to be had. I mentioned before that I was going to start eating vegetarian more. It's still possible to eat poorly as a vegetarian though. So it's definitely about making the right choices.

I already drink plenty of water and I don't drink much soda. No real changes to make there. It's definitely the food choices. I need to eat better bigger breakfasts and smaller dinners. I think dinner is my down fall. I eat late and I tend to eat a lot. I think I will need to implement drinking a glass of water before I eat my dinner and then drinking more water after 8 when I start to feel hungry again. It feels like a lot, but I know I can do it.

Small steps.

heavy - making changes

Here I am. If you ever wondered what I looked like full length, this is it. Most of my photos are from the shoulders up because dudes are always checking out my boobs. I also don't particularly care to see myself in photos full length because this is NOT what I see when I look in the mirror (at home).

When I was in Milwaukee for work, at the end of the hall there was a mirror that I had to walk towards to get to my room. I caught myself in the mirror and realized that I walk like a fat person, my thighs get in each others way. It made me a little sad. I'd already planned to start running because I joined a 5K and needed to start training for it, but seeing myself in the mirror from that vantage point, walking heading on. *deep heavy sigh* When did this happen? Something needed to change.

I've been content with my weight/shape for quite some time now. I've always been told that I was beautiful and that I didn't need to lose weight, that my curves were just right and I didn't need to do anything with them. Even in college when I went from 150 to 200+ lbs, someone was standing in the mirror behind me telling me that I was beautiful. I've had no reason to believe otherwise. So why would I change anything?

And while I'm still content with my size/shape for the most part, I still have days where I'm unhappy with what I see in the mirror (at home). I'm definitely thankful that I'm a little on the tall side and that I'm proportional. When I am unhappy it's usually when it comes time to go shopping,  when I see old pictures or when I catch myself in the mirror like I did in Milwaukee.

Shopping CAN be the pits. I'm not quite plus size and I'm not quite misses. A plus size shirt will fit through the bust, but be loose through the torso and a misses shirt will be tight through the bust, but perfect through the rest of the torso. I can't win so I end up wearing a lot of t-shirts. Nice and comfy. Stretchy. I will occasionally pick up empire waist dresses, but have to be careful or I end up looking pregnant. (Thank goodness for skinny belts.) Bottoms are another issue. If they fit through the hips and thighs, they're probably big through the waist. :( And as of the last couple of years a lot of my bottoms get ruined quickly through the inner thigh because they rub together so much. Patches only do so much and don't look nice on everything.

So I finally think that I'm ready to make some real changes, like get off my butt and see this through until the end changes (as opposed to lets do this for a week or two and then make an excuse to quit). I want to get myself in better shape and healthy, not just for me, but for my future mate and the children I wish to have. While I think it's crazy to live long into my 70's or 80's, I still want to be healthy and have energy to live the life that I have. I stay busy, so the extra energy will come in handy.

Since I signed up for a 5K, I've already started training for it by doing Couch to 5K. I thought it'd be the pits to wake up at 6AM to go running, but I actually enjoy it. I feel refreshed when I get done. I don't even run that fast. As a matter of fact I probably jog about as fast as I power walk, but it's something. And two weeks into it I'm starting to feel stronger. I can jog for longer than I thought I was capable of. Now all I need to do is add in some weights. I wish I could afford a gym membership. I used to LOVE going to the gym to work out.

I still don't eat as well as I could. I love sweets and cheese and carbs. Small changes. I stopped eating a lot of processed food a long time ago. I don't know if it has  helped any, but I feel better about not eating  things I can't pronounce (though I do sometimes eat a freezer meal, when I want something quick). Thankfully I love to cook and bake. The plan is to start eating vegetarian one whole week a month and one day a week every week. One day a week is pretty easy, sometimes I go a couple of days a week without eating meat and don't ever realize it. More fruits and vegetables for sure. Smoothies will be my best friend again. I just need to work on eating less sweets. It's going to be tough.


I'm not sure how much of my progress I plan to share here, but I thought this was definitely a start. If you're interested in my progress, shoot me an email or leave me a comment. Maybe it'll help me be a little more accountable. Like I've got a partner I'm competing against or something. :)

probably the wrong choice of words

I told ScruffyNerdy that I had a crush on him and that I wanted to get to know him better. He said he was flattered, that he couldn't say his feelings were the same and that he was cool kicking it as friends. The thing is, for me at least, a crush doesn't mean I want to date or that I have feelings. It just means I'm attracted to you and I think you seem pretty cool. Not sure how awkward things will be now. Wrong choice of words for sure, kinda wish I hadn't said anything at all. Oh well.

I've had a few male friends be nice to me lately. I'm never sure how to take it. I have a few male friends who do things for me and I know they're just friendly gestures. We've been friends long enough that it doesn't mean anything. No other intentions. But these last two incidents, I'd like to believe both guys were just being nice and it's just part of their nature. I'm not sure though.

One guy I've known on Twitter for about a year. We met/hung out a few times, but mostly we communicate via Twitter. He was getting off work one night (he works at a grocery store) and I jokingly asked him to bring me some Oreos and milk. He said sure. I then responded saying I was only half serious. I really did want some milk and cookies, but didn't really think he'd drive 20+ minutes out of his way to actually bring them to me. He did. We hung out and talked for a little bit and then he left. I relayed the scene to a couple of friends after it occurred and both asked me if he liked me. *shrugs* Not that I know of. I just thought he was being nice. I'm sure I could ask him, but no.

Work has been good. I'm enjoying it. I don't enjoy the uniform so much though. I really wish I didn't have to wear long sleeves. I don't regret getting my tattoo, but I surely do dislike having to wear the long sleeves. Oh well. I've been getting decent hours and my paychecks are normally a little more than I'm expecting. I can dig it.

Hats are surprisingly STILL selling and I've had requests for more. I thought w/ the warmer weather that business would slow down, but it hasn't. I had a good run on Mother's Day cards as well. Just wish I was more motivated to create. I need to change that. I need to do one creative thing a day and hopefully something will change and I'll be more motivated.

I was teaching AT how to drive for a couple of weeks after she bought a car for her birthday, but sadly that has stopped because just as I was informed, you CANNOT finance a car without a driver's license. I feel bad for AT, I hope she gets some if not all of the money she spent back. It was fun being able to drive places. You'd think that'd be motivation to hurry up and save some money to buy a car, but sadly it is not. I still enjoy riding the bus though it's a bit of a pain having to get up early on some days or not being able to go out at night. Who knows, maybe I will end up saving up for a beater car to drive around. We shall see.

Other than that not much else is going I suppose. Just daily life. I keep telling myself I want to get healthy, but I'm not doing anything about it. Lazy bum. I plan on getting new ink before summer OFFICIALLY begins, saving up my pennies as we speak. And I think that's about it. Oh, I made lasagna for  the first time this past week. Delicious.

Week One

Amazing what The Daily Plate considers exercise. Standing around at work actually burns calories and means I can eat more if I want to. I probably shouldn't have though.

I lost one pound this week. I didn't really exercise though, but I am more aware of the things I eat. I eat a lot of bread and sweets. All that bread devouring is probably why I'm so fluffy. *deep heavy sigh*

This week I'll have to try to work in more exercise and cut back on the bread. Oh sweet bread how do I love you.

Anywho...I do have some things I want to blog about, I just need to sit my fluffy ass down and get to writing. Twitter and Tumblr have taken over my blogging. That and other projects. Gotta start making those lists of things to do. Makes life easier.

Fatty Fat Fat...

Okay so I don't really think I'm fat, but I've gained a lot more weight in the last couple of months than I wanted to. I'm going to say it was due to the stress of medical problems and all the changes going on at work. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So...I'm joining Catherinette of The Catherinette Chronicles in Operation Muffin Topple.

You should join too...it'll be fun. No really. It will.