Sunday, February 25, 2007

I wish I could lose...all of my blues...

Stupid heffer splashed me with slush. A few deep breaths, not something to make my day bitter.

I lost it on the bus on the way to work. Silently crying for no reason. What's wrong with me?

Crying in public is easier than crying in front of friends. Most people don't even bother with you, especially if you're not whimpering and the tears are just streaming. Very few friends have actually SEEN me cry. I hold it in and wait until no one is around.

I felt numb at work. I didn't care to be there. I wanted to just go home and didn't care if they fired me.

It's scary to feel like that.

That is a beautiful man specimen of man. I hope he walks past again. [he didn't] He was so good looking I barely heard what my coworker was trying to tell me.


One of the few reaons why I don't hate my job: the ability to people watch, especially when there are conventions in town or like this week, the combine.

I've come to realize that I've got a growing attraction for men with locks or men who are completely bald.

Another fine looking man just came by and this time I couldn't help buy smile at him and he smiled back. That made my day.

My hormones are a raging.

Not good.

After reading OEN's description of LASIK. I kinda wanna get it done.

But what would I do without glasses? They're me and I quite enjoy hiding behind my black plastic frames.

I feel like I can barely breath.

I think I'm having anxiety about flying and I don't even leave for another 3ish weeks.

"...I wish I could change...I wish I could change...I wish I could stop...Sayin the same old things...I wish I could be...Who u want me 2 be...I wish I could stop...Being the same old me...I wish I could lose...All of my blues...I wish I could stop...Puttin my blues on u...I wish I could love...Like nobody loves...I wish that my goods...Outweighed my bads enough..."

I can change...but it's hard.

I need someone who will provide some consistancy in my life.

I can't be waiting around here for you to have time for me.

I need some satisfaction as well...yes, that kind of satisfaction.

TheAsshole popped up tonight. No call, no nothing. I'm not a fan of that kind of ish.

He did have pity on me and took me grocery shopping...and paid for the groceries.

I got me some silly putty too.

It helps me relieve stress.

Why does this idiot have his base so effin' loud this early in the morning?

I do not want to process anymore freight.

Working on Saturdays is not my idea of fun.

Gingerbread men from Bloomington = good stuff.

I have SO much stuff to do...I feel like I need to take time off just to get it all done. But I can't do that.

I need to learn to use my time more wisely.

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