Friday, June 29, 2007

Why aren't we together?

I've come to the conclusion that I don't care about myself enough to take care of myself (going to the doctor and what not). I know it shouldn't be that way, but it is.

I'm also at that breaking point where I feel like I need someone to take care of me. Make me do the things I need to do. I know I can do them on my own, but I need the push.

Off to Cincinatti:

First time taking the megabus and it's late. And I got on the wrong least I got off before it left.

I really stepped out of my comfort zone by taking this trip to see TheStudent. He could be an ax murderer or not who he says he is and this could be the worst trip ever.

I'm glad I decided not to walk from the bus stop to his place. That was ALL hood.

Him: It's to the left.
Me: *immediately walking to the right*
Him: *waits for me to realize my error*

Poor guy has to work from midnight to 6AM. Well at least I can get some sleep or escape if need be.


*sigh of relief*

Same person from the phone and photos. I can't believe I'm here. A little bit of nervousness, but that's to be expected. From the look on his face I don't think he really thought I was going to come.

That's what happens when YOU keep saying you'll come up and see me and then never make a move. You should've manned up. And since you didn't I will commence making jokes.

Your lips are even better in person.

Mmmmm...kissing...this is what I've been missing.

Your compliments are doing wonders for my self esteem. I know you weren't expecting me to be shaped the way I am. I hide it well in photos. There are reasons for that.

You shaved your chest for me? How sweet, you remembered and that conversation was so very long ago.

"Silk" sheets. *laughs*

Talking and just being here with you is easier and more comfortable than I expected. I guess it should be considering we had almost two years to lay the foundation.

Thank you for just holding me.

Him: *mumble mumble* ...lucky...cute.
Me: And if I were ugly?
Him: We would've still kicked it, still been friends.
Me: Uh huh.

Do you have to go to work? (1)

And you still have the birthday card I sent you.

My body aches I'm so sleepy. I slept all of 45 minutes the whole time you were at work.

The perfect remedy for that. (2)

I didn't lie about it did I.

I normally don't like to cuddle, but considering it's a twin bed I guess I have no choice. But uh, can you loosen up on the death grip. I'm not going anywhere.

Note to future men*: I *heart* sex first thing in the morning. (3)

Normally I don't like anyone playing with or kissing my ears, but it's okay when you do it.

My hip joint is jacked up and I can barely walk. It's your fault. That'll be fun explaining at work tomorrow.

Dang it's hot AND super humid here. We're not doing a lot of walking around.

I appreciate that you believe in me and that you want to invest in me.

Me: *steps off elevator, pauses, walks left*
Him: Again.
Me: I paused this time and went the right way.


Oh shiiiiiit! (4)

"If you lived here, you'd make me miss class."

Pizza for lunch, pizza for dinner. I'm gonna have some awful gas from all this cheese.

What??? You don't know who Robin Thicke is? Baby I know your head is always in the books but come on. Seriously?

Sweet, dirty photos to remember this trip. (5)

I can't believe you're really making me watch this horror movie AND you're falling asleep. I don't like you right now.


Oh sweet sleep.

Really, you'd rather watch TV??? Hmmm...okay.

Yes, I do can dress myself and have a sense of style.

"Just take my umbrella, I can get a new one." I ended up not even needing it.

Really, you're going to say good bye to me right here, you're not walking me downstairs to the cab. I don't care how you're dressed, no one is going to see you.

I can't wait to see you again. I DO miss you.

Is there really a salty discharge leaking from my eyes. Shit. It's not because of him, it's because I don't want to come back to Indianapolis and the nothingness that awaits me there.

"...I will wait on you, my dear...Even if it takes 1,000 years...I believe that love will see us through...but, for right now here’s what we gon’ do...Forever will I wait on you...And, I hope that you feel like I do...It’s so hard for me to wear my watch...Because all I hear is tick and tock..."

Babe, thank you for taking care of me and letting me just be.

Why aren't we together?

On the way back to Indy:

Meltdown in 5...4...3...2...

I don't want to go back to Indianapolis.

I realize that I miss that kind of affection. Just sitting on the balconey enjoying the night air together. Just sitting on the couch watching TV. Just talking about this, that and the other. It's been so long since I've had that with anyone. Even just a day of it was good.

Blech, back to work.

Dang it the apartment I wanted is no longer available. The search continues.

I got a job interview tomorrow. SWEET!

The raven haired beauty is back.

And she's out in a short dress. I really need to learn how to sit properly in a short dress.

"...Don't make me over...Don't make me over...Now that you've got me at your command...Accept me for what I am...Accept me for the things that I do...Accept me for what I am...Accept me for the things that I do...Now that I'd do anything for you...Now that you know how I adore you...Just take me inside your arms and hold me tight...And always be by my side, if I am wrong or right...I'm begging you..."

He's quite attractive and I'd like to kiss him just for fun.

Must go to sleep.

*And I'll want to have sex more than you do.

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