...your heart I'd never compromise...

I just realized McDishes complimented me the other night for the first time. I wonder...was he letting his guard down for a brief second or was it the alcohol? Hmmm...I guess we'll never know.

"...Palm trees, green leaves...Colors in the fall...Happiness of spring...A sun ray peaking through, a light rain...Sharing a nightfall feeling pleasures pain...A sunrise a night gone...Perfect scenery a perfect background song...Your melody your harmony...The beauty of your song...To the point I can't respond...This is how I feel when I'm around you...Sky would fall without you...Heaven's lost without you...And it's gone be alright...When I'm around you...Sky would fall without you...Heaven's lost without you...And it's gone be alright..."

I let fear take up too large of a part of my life.

Geek down? Jump off? Bust down? Who comes up with these terms? Thank you UrbanDictionary.com, but how accurate are your definitions?

I'm sorry you have to talk to me like I'm a naive white girl at times because I'm slow on the uptake.

For real though.

Screw the three day rule...if you're diggin' the chick call them. I'm not saying call them at 4AM when it hits you, but call them. Let's stop playing these games and be adults. Oh wait...I forgot...we don't know hot not to play these reindeer games.

Dude, I know you went through a heck of a whole lot more than I'm going through right now...but it's still not comparable. What's hard for me isn't the same as what was/is hard for you. Two different people, two different situations. I'm glad you were able to make it through. Eventually I hope I can make it through too.

I try not to cry on a daily basis these days. I'm glad to know that I have friends who care about me.

I feel like a prisoner.

Mini breakdown on the walk to work. Thankfully I pulled myself together for a couple of hours.

I tell a bold faced lie everyday. I'm really NOT okay.

I'm tired of this acting out. This is not who I am. I've been here before and didn't like myself afterwards back then either.

S.UI.CIDE. running through my mind. I can't. Don't worry, I won't.

I'll get help soon?

NotInterested doesn't think it's that deep, but he doesn't really know how deep it runs.

I have to stop running.

Boss Lady No. 3 came into work today. She looked like shit.

"...I've been searching around the world...never knowing what to expect...I get sad sometimes...I be mad sometimes...cause I'm out here on the grind...making mine and I still can't seem to find...what I've been looking for...open so many doors...I just wanna be loved...I just wanna be loved like everybody else does...I just wanna be loved...I just wanna be loved..."

Truthfully...yes I like being single. I like having freedom to do as and who I please. But honestly, I want more than anything to be in a relationship. To take care of someone, to be taken care of. The good and the bad...mostly the good. Warm baths, movie dates, head rubs and back scratching. Botched dinners and cuddling.

"...What would it take...to show you what you mean to me...every word I say...let's you know that you complete me...I'd paint your name in stars...I'll be all that you want in life...If given me the chance, I know I'd make the perfect wife...The way I feel about you is far more complex than the words I say...the reason I feel this way I wanna do for you...It's easy to say I love you...so the truth of my love for you shall reveal...this feeling I have inside I wanna do for you...can't you see true love...it's staring you right in your eyes...I've given you so much...your heart I'd never compromise...we've been through all the rights and wrongs in life...together we'll keep getting by...so now it's up to you...I want to be that perfect wife..."

I want to go back to the graffitied alley in Broad Ripple that Nick and Court took me to and take more photos of someone. McDishes in particular. But another handsome man will do.

I'm inspired.

I wish I had a few more clients before the sun starts to fade into cloudy darkness.

Why do I have the weird urge to smoke a black or a clove...heck a hookah would be best. Mmmmm...hookah. When're we going again FlashDance?

I'm in need of many many hugs. Please don't be alarmed if I start to cry.

Tired...sleep...I'm coming soon.