Friday, November 16, 2007 if you're still awake, call me when you get this...

I don't know why TheFireFighter and I play this game.

Black Friday is next week. Oy! Boo holiday shopping.

Note to everyone I know...if you're going to be shopping on Black Friday and well the rest of the holiday season, don't be a jackass to the sales associates...we already have to deal with all the other grumpy people don't make it worse.

*deep heavy sigh*

I want him.

Come on HR lady call me and offer me the job.

I think this stupid shot has jacked up my cycle. I don't think I'll be returning for another.

Hey you...yes you...there's a two hour time difference...calling at two and three AM while I'm trying to sleep is NOT cool. Thank you.

Oh and why should I be at Coaches/D'Vine just because it's Tues/Thurs?

Damn I'm having a great hair day. I still want to color it though.

A lot of times I think I take care of others better than I take care of myself. Doing this, that and the other and WANTING to before doing something for myself. Hmmm...that ALMOST sounds like KS's definition of love (the desire to please someone else at the expense of yourself.)

I need a pedicure.

Did I mention that I want him?

Why is the weather playing with my emotions this way? One day it's cold, then it's warm and now it's COLD again. Make up your effin' lovin' mind. Please and thank you.

One morning I wake up okay and then next feeling like I MIGHT be getting sick. Stupid weather.

I'm definitely feeling more relaxed and comfortable these days.

Maybe TheFireFighter will take me out this weekend. Wishful thinking.

I want to go on a fun little date and then afterwards cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. Heck that could be the date.

May all beings be peaceful.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be safe.

May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature.

May all beings be free.

I want to go back to school. I miss it.

This whole pierced nipples in the winter is going to take some awhile to adjust to. I wonder if they make nipple warmers.

Mmm...mmm...mmm...soup on a cool fall day. Yum.

I'm working on the whole internet thing. FYI, internet at Au Bon Pain drops like every thirty minutes. It's quite annoying. But who am I to complain when it's free. And WTF is up with the internet on Monument Circle? How am I supposed to connect to that?

Okay so I'm at Au Bon Pain and I laughed at a message a friend sent me and one of the servers/cooks/etc came up and said she had to see what had me so tickled. Um...can you mind your own might've seen something not intended for your eyes. Yes I am aware I'm in public using their free wifi, but hey quit being nosy.

Hey jerkface I said hello and asked how you were doing, the least you could do is acknowledge me. This is why I don't like greeting the customers. Don't bother asking me for help later.

On the flip side of that I hate to say our store gives pretty damn good customer service. If we don't have something we will call another store and try to find the item for you. Most of the other stores I go to well I'm lucky if I even get greeted.

"...what's it really like to be loved...I've often wondered who could love you the way I I just want you to I'm touched deep in my soul...just being with you...and I need you more each if you're still awake call me when you get this...I just wanted to know what it was like...what's it really like to be loved...these little volcanoes came as a surprise to me...I never thought I could be this way..."

Sometimes I wonder if I need to start dressing my age or more business appropriate. I so love my jeans and fitted tees though. When I get this regular nine to five I'll have to do some actual shopping. I have pants, but tops...not so much.

For about five minutes today I wanted to bang the bus driver. I think part of it has to do with the fact that he's bald.

Why is it so hard for me to pick up the phone and call him, but I can send racy, silly texts ALL day long.

*deep heavy sigh*

"...what would it show you what you mean to me...every word I say...let's you know that you complete me...I'd paint your name in stars...I'd be all that you want in life...if given me the chance...I know I'd make the perfect wife...the way feel I about you is far more complex than the words I say...the reason I feel this way I wanna do for's easy to say I love you so the truth of my love shall reveal I wanna do for you...can't you see true's staring you right in your eyes...I'm giving you so much...your heart I'd never compromise...we've been through all the rights and wrongs in life...together we'll keep getting now it's up to you...I want to be that perfect wife...come on let me show you how much I love you..."

I know I'm capable of being in a relationship...but for some reason I think I subconsciously sabotage any chances that I ever have at starting something. Then of course there is the whole jumping into bed before there's the chance to get something started. And then also that wall I like to put up. Oy.

It's not even about the sex with him. I just want to curl up on the couch or sit in a smokey bar or whatever. As long as I'm getting to spend time with him.

What is this feeling? And why am I feeling it. Ugh!!!

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