Tuesday, April 4, 2006

I Don't Know How You Do It

Thank you DW, I appreciate it.  I don't know how you do it, but you do.

I've been stressed, way more than usual.  Bam...everything all at once: school, bills, projects, men (minor, but there none the less) and just life.  It's been so bad that I fall asleep and get a good 6+ hours and Iwake up every one or two hours, I wake up feeling like I never went to bed or I wake up with a sore neck and shoulders.  Last night after a relaxing conversation with DW I slept for a little over three hours and woke up quite refreshed, the best sleep I've had in about a week.

An old HS buddy (who found me via MySpace) tells me that I'm thinking to strongly about everything and that I have a lot I want to accomplish and I don't know where in the world to start.  And you know what...he's right.  I live in my head and it's always going a million miles a minute.  I spend hours sitting and trying to figure out what project to start/continue/finish.  There is so much going on in my head and it's getting quite crowded.  Then there are all the things I want to accomplish: second degree, bills paid off, business, etc., I'm a mess.  No wonder I'm stressed.  I have to get organized and prioritize all of it.  But where do I start?

I almost feel like I've gotten to the point where I need someone to sit and tell me what I HAVE to do and that there will be major consequences if those things don't get done.  It's as if I've reverted back to being a child.  But I'm not, I'm an adult and I'm the one who is responsible for me and my actions.  I need support and encouragement though.  I often feel like I don't have it.  Sometimes I need help too and well...I have a hard time asking for it.  It's as if it defeats the purpose of being independent.  But, I have an no problem accepting help when offered.  I really just hate to be a burden.  Crazy little hang ups.

DW told me that you wake up every morning to a new day and a new beginning. Today is a new beginning and today is the day to start getting organized and priortized.

Off to start my new day...

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