In and Out Like a Bank Robber

I had a little bit of sun in my life for a minute...but then it disappeared behind the clouds.  I reread my post and it's mucho wordy...but I never said I was a great writer.

A little over a month ago I met TheMetalHead (formerly TheNewBoy).  I like to believe it was a chance meeting.  See, TheMetalHead worked in a shoe store in the mall that I also work in.  I walk past his store every day and had never noticed him before...probably because he was fairly new.  One day I randomly decided to stop in and take a look at shoes and honestly shoe shopping isn't something I enjoy too much as I rarely find anything I like and when I do find a pair I adore they always end up being too narrow or my size is unavailable.  Anyway, I find a pair I like and ask an associate (who I find out later is the manager) for my size.  She brings them, I try them on (PERFECTION) and then decide to ask for recommendations for a pair of shoes for work.  Some where behind me is TheMetalHead who I have yet to really notice, going about his business. I go to check out and as the associate is asking me my information TheMetalHead starts to ask where I work and such and I finally notice him and how attractive he is.  I'm flustered by him and my answers come off as short and irritated.  Later I think that his face seems a bit familiar.

Now of course when I'm going to and from work I check to see if he's working so that I can catch a quick glimpse of him.  My high schoolish crush is growing.  I stop in one day and try my best to muster up conversation and all I can ask, while my back is to him as I pretend to browse the selection, is how often they get freight in.  I get my answer, feel like such a goober and head out.  I'm so incredibly shy, always have been.  A few days later I see him walking past and am able to blurt out a quick hello and a friendly smile.  He smiles and says hello back.  Later that day thanks to a friend I finally find out his name.

A few days later on my way to work I stop to chat with AW about TheMetalHead and then a college buddy and his cousin come past and hear me gushing about him and tell me to just go for it and talk to him.  I explain my shyness and how hard that is and they assure me that it's nothing and that I should just talk to him.  They walk past the store with me and TheMetalHead comes out as we're walking past and my college buddy's cousin tells him that I want to talk to him.  I'm quite embarassed at this, but walk in and introduce myself.  He suggests having lunch, but he's the only one working and can't leave.  I mention that I'm actually on my way to work but let him know that I'll stop by when I get off.

We set up a time to have lunch before I go to work one day and he ends up not being able to go so we reschedule for after I get off and then when I stop by after I get off, he isn't there, apparently family stuff came up.  At this point I want to say eff it and blow him off, but the better part of me says to give him a chance and see what happened.  A day or so later we finally have dinner and talk and get to know each other.  We both happen to be from military families and have both lived overseas.  I also find out he has two children and is newly divorced.  I'm a little put off by this, but it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.  There's just something about him that I'm attracted to.

The following days I stop by the store to chat with him and it's real casual, hey how are, how's work.  AW and I invite him to a St. Patty's Day party that AW is throwing, he says he might stop through.  He doesn't.

I had mentioned to him previously that I'm headed out of town for a week.  The day before I leave he mentions that he'd like to see me before I leave, but he has his kids for the weekend and that'd mean he'd have to bring them along.  In my head I'm screaming, "Hey, pump your breaks, I ain't ready to meet your kids, we've only known each other all of a week or so."  I tell him that's cool.  I don't hear from him that night and find out why when I get back from vacation.

He calls me before I head out to the airport to talk, but is cut short since he's at work.  At first I didn't even realize it was him on the phone, since I didn't recognize the number.  The girl in me thinks that he likes me and that this could be something good and I'm open to dating someone with children and other baggage.  Something I've shyed away from before.

Being that I'm a goober I hadn't set up a ride home from the airport when I got back.  so I decided that I'd see what type of response I'd get if I asked TheMetalHead to pick me up seeing that he was okay with me meeting his kids so soon.  I send him a text, but receive no response.  When I return from vacation I find out from that he was asking AW about me and that he did intend on picking me up from the airport, BUT the baby momma found my text message and proceeded to delete it and my phone number.  I also find out from him later that he was going to come by and see me before I left, but when he mentioned stopping by my place with kids in tow the baby momma was not having it.  Of course behaviors like this should have been huge red flags and I should have heeded the advice of friends and just leave TheMetalHead be, but the part of me that says to give him a chance is screaming louder than the voice that says to leave him alone.

He says to me at one point that he doesn't want to get me caught up in the drama that is his baby momma and that he wants to take things slowly.  I tell him I'm willing to be patient and see how things progress, but that I'm not likely to put up with a lot from his baby momma.  I kinda feel like I made a mistake saying it, but it was too late. the words didn't quite come out how I wanted them.

From there things seemed to progress in a downhill fashion.  We went from talking to just friends and he began to make it clear when I was sick and jokingly told him thanks for treating me like a leper and he responded by says hey, what're friends for.  Then he introduced me to a friend of his as his friend.  Of course the idiot girl in me still hoped for the possibility of something and wanted him to point blank say hey this isn't going to work let's just be friends.

I began to see less and less of him around at work.  And then finally found out that he no longer works at the store.  He never even bothered to let me know he no longer worked there either.  Of course being who I am I'm tempted to call and see how he's doing and ask what's going on to see what he says...but it seems pointless, he's not interested in me anymore if he was at all.  But heck I want the t-shirt he owes me...that's a good enough excuse to call.

I wonder why we met that day, I think there's got to be a reason he was put in my path.  Who knows.