My froat hurts.

It's more a fear of giving someone my everything and then getting kicked in the teeth than it is a fear of commitment.

So I sent him a message letting him know for the most part how I feel. My horoscope told me to do it. [He didn't respond, I didn't think he would. It's okay though.]

I prefer to write to people in order to manage rejection and emotions and reactions. If someone responds they're not there to see how I react and I can continue to hide my feelings. I can also say exactly how I feel without losing what I'm trying to say. Speaking I get caught up and what I want to say just doesn't come out the way I want it too.

"...it's starts in my soul...and I lose all control...when you kiss my nose...the feelin shows...cause you make me smile...baby just take your time now...holdin me tight..."

I finally replaced my too small fleece jacket with a new warmer fleece of the same brand and size. All for the low price of $12.50. I *heart* Old Navy and their awesome deals. The other jacket was much cuter, but more expensive and definitely NOT as warm.

Five dollars for an effin' brush...dang it. Although I do like the gel grip handle.

A gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gas. That just doesn't make sense to me.

Excuse me sir we were supposed to leave five minutes ago...get off the damn phone and do your effin' job. People have places to be.

Dude asked TheFireFighter about me awhile back. WTF? Why? Hmmm...

Okay so yes...last year I was at that point where I didn't think I wanted to be in a serious relationship...but that was last year. Can we drop that already?

Settling down and having kids with TheFireFighter...I never thought that'd EVER come up in any conversation we'd have. That was weird. The thought is nice...but I don't really see it becoming a reality. We both talk a lot of ish.

What he said does make sense about why attached men are attracted to me.

*checking daily thoughts* Yep...still want him.

"...Everything is cool when love is all brand new...cause you're learning me and I'm learning you (it's cool)...cause you're learning me and I'm learning you...girl it's so cool (yeaaah)...talking with you (yeaaah)...it gets better every moment I spend with you...girl you're so nice (nice)...and you so fine (so fine)...plus you're real and that just what I like..."

I'm okay with the way I look. When I look in the mirror at my nekkid self before I hop in the shower I think I look pretty damn good. Sure there are a few things that I wish could be fixed, but I'm still okay with all my bits and pieces.

This up and down weather is starting to drive me a little nutty.

I need new bras...next week can't get here soon enough.

"Question?...can a smile lead to a hello...and a hello lead to a first date and...a first date to a can't wait to do it again...ain't no pressure (no)...can just let love develop...get to know one another...from a sister...to a brother...I'm just wondering...I'm just wondering...if we start as friends...I'm just wondering...if you have a man...I'm just wondering...if I could be around, permanent...how can I get down...is it possible...for you to see...that maybe you and I could be...say it's possible...for you to see that maybe you and I could be...is it possible...to be logical..."

I don't know how it happens sometimes but I know a lot about what's going on around here than I should. And now a lot of stuff is starting to make a lot more sense.

The only girl chillin' with a bunch of boys who all happen to be DJ's. *thinks* I think a majority of my male friends are DJ's or hype men or have their hands in music in one way or another.

My froat hurts. Damn smokers.

That was one of the best back massages and scratches EVER!!! Thanks!

I've noticed my lists are less mopey and sad. Still not chipper and exciting, but at least less depressing.