...you need to be gettin collar bone kissin...

So I sucked it up and called him and I've come to think that he doesn't answer most of my text messages because he'd rather I just pick up the phone and call. At least that was the subtle hint I think I picked up from our conversation.

MsJackson will be in town next week for Thanksgiving. I haven't seen her since we've graduated from high school. It should be a good time. This is how small the world is...we went to high school together in GERMANY and then she went to college with TheFireFighter in Muncie.

Seems fatherhood is already taking it's toll on TheBestFriend's sleep.

Possibility of two new clients. Good things are indeed coming.

I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. -Carrie Bradshaw

Enough said.

The sun is trying to fight it's way through the clouds. Come on sun...you can do it.

I feel a lot more relaxed these days.

Must start working on a budget and a plan.

"if it were up to me i'll see you every day." That SOUNDS so very sweet and of course he'd say that after he tells me all week he's coming to see me and then at the last minute can't. All part of the game I guess. Oh well...I'll see him when I see him. He ain't in the top spot anyway.

I need to stop focusing on wanting him and work on what what I want for me. Does that make sense?

Even though we just made a pact. Forty-five days...we didn't discuss consequences of not completing said pact. I guess it's just motivation. I'm pretty sure he has an idea that I'm attracted to him. I think it's pretty damn obvious.

Spontaneous change of physical appearance. You'll just have to see. I had to do something.

"...to be honest from where I'm sittin...it don't look like you gettin back what you givin...you need to be gettin collar bone kissin, turquoise tiffany box with a ribbon..."

I could do for some collar bone kissin right about now. A trail across my back would nice as well.

Interview No. 1 = position has been filled. Bastards said they'd call either way and did they? Nope.

Reason No. 34562 I need to get my license and a car: Having to ride the bus with those who are unwashed. *throws up in mouth a little bit*

FUCK, I don't like me very much right now. I done ACCIDENTLY deleted all my unlocked text messages. I had some lovely intimate messages that were always good pick me ups. I have to learn to be more careful when I'm deleting texts. Or quit playing around with my phone when I'm at work. That'll teach me.

Thirteen and already a 42F. Poor girl. I'm glad I didn't have all this boobage until I got older. I wouldn't have known what to do with it all when I was younger.

I got fired twice today. Once before I even clocked in and the second time after I was already off. *laughs* Me and my smart mouth. *shrugs* Oh well.

Of course now that I have the nerves to call him, he would be on the phone. No leaving of voicemail though. I wonder if he'll call back. [He didn't, but I ended up calling him after a few texts. An hour plus later and I still want him even though it's pretty clear that it won't be much more than friends with benefits.]

I always find myself wanting to tell him way more than I should. And sometimes I do end up telling him things I probably shouldn't. I guess he can't fault me for not expressing myself.

"...Nobody wants to be alone...If you're touched by the words in this song...then baby...you got, you got it bad...when you're on the phone...hang up and you call right back...you got, you got it bad...if you miss a day without your friend...your whole life's off track...you know you git bad when you're stuck in the house...you don't wanna have fun...it's all you think about...you got it bad when you're out with someone...but you keep thinkin' bout somebody else..."